Mushoku Tensei

Volume 11 Chapter 2 - Breakdown

Part 1

The incident occurred one month after the letter arrived.

---

Early afternoon.

I was helping out with Nanahoshi's experiments.

Just, this day, it was proceeding a bit different.

"If this magic circle succeeds, we'll be able to proceed to the next phase."

Nanahoshi declared that and displayed a magic circle much larger than any of the previous ones.

Far more enormous, even though I say that, it's still only about half the size of a tatami mat.

On an unusually large page for this world, delicate patterns were drawn closely packed together.

It was a masterpiece that took over one month to draw.

In regards to Nanahoshi, it's the compilation of two years of work.

"For the time being, is it alright for me to hear what this magic circle is intended to do?"

"…It's to summon an object from the other world."

"The metastasis disaster won't occur again right?"

Because Nanahoshi was summoned, that metastasis disaster occurred.

That would mean, it might happen even if it's with just a small object.

Is what I was thinking, but Nanahoshi shook her head.

"It's alright… in theory at least."

"For the time being would it be alright for me to hear that theory?"

"In all of the experiments until now, in order to summon something more complex and larger, I confirmed that it requires more magic power. In other words, the magic in this world falls under the category of the laws of energy conservation. This time what we're summoning is a small and simple object. If we were to use the assumption that the amount of energy used during the time I was summoned was enough to annihilate an entire region, in theory at most only an area of 1 meter or so around the magic circle would be teleported this time. And then, honestly I can't imagine it happening though, even if by chance the same thing happens again, I've prepared a safety within the magic circle. I already know how much magic power it will use after all."

The laws of energy conservation huh.

I see now. What was that again?

"Energy conservation… and, what was that again?"

Was it different from the law of conservation of mass…?

"…I'm not so knowledgeable about it that I can explain it to a person who doesn't know about it, but in other words all of the strange things that happen in this world, generally have magic power as their cause. That thing you use often, Rock Bullet was it? That as well, you're suddenly materializing a rock in mid-air, but the reality of it is that you're changing the magic power into rock."

I guess that would mean I was mistaken on the laws I thought of in the past.

I see, Energy Conservation.

I see now, the more magic power you pour into the more it becomes, fire magic's temperature rises, the weight of earth magic increases is what that means.

"And then…?"

After that, Nanahoshi explained it to me, but honestly it was too difficult so I didn't understand it.

Since you're applying the usage of some law, the magic circle's size and effect are something or other.

Also, after applying the something or other law, something or other happens.

Honestly, even if there was a hole somewhere in the theory, I wouldn't get it.

All that I understand is that Nanahoshi is full of self-confidence.

If she has self-confidence, then I'm sure the probability of success is high.

Well. Even if it fails and I end up being thrown somewhere as well.

I'm sure I can somehow or other manage to return.

"If it fails and I end up being teleported somewhere, I'm leaving it to you to contact my family."

"That's why I said, there's no chance of that."

After that exchange, I stood in front of the magic circle.

"Well then, I'll start."

"Please do."

I wonder if that wish was something made towards me.

Or else something towards God.

I started to pour magic power into the magic circle.

The ends of the magic circle on the paper started giving off light.

Then the entire magic circle began to release a dim light.

I knew that my magic power was being sucked up continuously from my arm.

However, something was a bit strange.

I felt something was out of place.

I felt like there was some kind of stagnation in the way the magic circle was shining.

One portion doesn't seem to be shining as well…

Psht!!!

A small sound was let out.

Suddenly the magic power stopped passing over.

The dim light from the magic circle stopped.

"…"

With that it was over.

After that, the magic circle returned no reaction.

After taking a good look, a part of the paper had a fissure made in it.

I guess it would mean it short circuited, and the safety or whatever started working.

In any case, this is…

A failure.

"…How about it?"

"It's a failure."

Nanahoshi said it quietly.

And then, fell into the chair, put her elbows on the desk.

She made a deep sigh.

"Fu…"

She just kept staring at the paper placed on the floor.

The paint had disappeared from the paper and all that was remaining was the rough draft of the magic circle.

And the remaining fissure in the paper.

She just kept absent-mindedly looking at those without any movement.

After a short while, she looked this way and said it.

"Thank you for your work. Today is already… fine for you to return."

Roughly two year’s worth of compilation.

It ended in just a matter of only a few seconds.

However, failures go along with experiments.

"Well, these sorts of things happen."

"…"

Nanahoshi wasn't responding.

…I wonder if it's my fault.

No, I shouldn't be related.

I just kept sending magic power into it.

I didn't do anything different, as long as they have magic power anyone should be able to do it.

If that was no good, then it's Nanahoshi's fault for not explaining it enough.

"…"

Nanahoshi wasn't saying anything.

In any case, for today it goes this far huh.

"Well then, please excuse me."

I stood up.

Just before I left the experiment room, I looked at Nanahoshi once more.

She's been in the same posture as just before, without a single movement.

I passed through the storage-like room filled with a mix of things as I left the research room.

After several steps I stopped my feet.

Nanahoshi has been considerably tense over these past several months.

With this failure, she might actually be considerably shaken I wonder.

That posture, that behavior.

Could it be, rather than thinking about the next experiment's failure, she was just staring in a daze?

No, even if she's like that Nanahoshi is reasonably strong it seems.

She should have the capacity to accept a failure as a failure I'm sure.

The instant I thought that,

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh……!"

I suddenly heard a screaming voice from the research room.

Simultaneously, I heard the sound of something breaking.

The sound of someone raging.

I turned my heels around and quickly returned to the research room.

"Aaaaaaaah!"

There, Nanahoshi was half in a frenzy with her hair disheveled.

She was tearing the books she wrote herself into pieces and scattering them, as her temper was going up, she pulled over the shelves, throwing the contents of jars all over the place.

She took off her mask and threw it on the ground.

While trying to scratch off her face she staggered into the wall.

While beating on the wall she staggered and tripped over the contents of the jar she threw everywhere.

She continued to slam the contents of the jar on the ground, stood up and then tried to tear off her hair.

I panicked and went up behind her and grabbed onto her, constricting her.

"Wai… calm down!"

"I can't return, I can't return, I can't return…"

Nanahoshi was muttering it in a whisper with hollow eyes.

All of her muscles were stiffening, like she was saving up all of her power to start raging about at any time.

"I can't return, I can't return, I can't retuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn!"

Nanahoshi was struggling.

To the limits of her power, she was struggling to try and release my restraint on her.

However, it was just the level of strength of a hikikomori female high school student.

Feeble.

There's no way she could shake me off.

Before long she released her strength and went limp.

When I started to release my hands, she started to bend towards the floor.

"Hey, are you alright?"

After looking at that face, I felt intuitively that it was dangerous.

The color of her face was pure white, her eyes were blank and had a shadow over them, her lips had lost their color, and they dried up and cracked.

This is the face that someone makes during a considerably severe emotional breakdown.

She might try to kill herself.

"…"

I can't deal with this by myself.

What should I do?

Who would help me at times like this…?

Sylphy.

It's Sylphy.

If it's her then she'll lend me a hand somehow or other.

That's right, today she has no night shift.

Alright, today I'll return home with Nanahoshi.

Let's do that.

No, but before that, it would be better to calm her down somewhere.

"Are you alright?"

"…"

"You've been working a bit too hard you know. Rest for today."

"…"

Nanahoshi wasn't responding.

I turned her shoulders around and partly forcibly stood her up.

Just like that, I left the research room while dragging her along.

The lock is… No, I'll do it after.

I'm sure it'll be fine for one day or so. Probably.

Just like that, I was heading towards the place Sylphy was at. The aim is the fifth year students' classroom.

Maybe I should have someone call out to her.

Or else, I can call her myself.

I continued to walk while lending my shoulder to Nanahoshi, the surrounding gazes were gathering on me.

Just then I ran into the lot moving between classrooms.

They were talking loudly.

We stand out.

Is it because I'm lending my shoulder to a woman?

Right now Nanahoshi doesn't have her mask on.

It would be better if we don't stand out too much.

But what should I do.

"Shisho!"

I heard a voice from behind.

After turning around. It's Zanoba.

"Shisho… what's wrong!?"

"Zanoba. Nanahoshi's in danger, help me out here."

"…Is it illness!?"

"Something similar to that."

"Then, we should move her to the infirmary for now."

Yeah, first we should go there.

Infirmary, it's the infirmary.

Alright.

"Shisho, I'll carry her."

"Do it courteously."

"Of course, now, Silent-dono."

Zanoba picked up Nanahoshi and carried her like a princess.

It was a solid and stable holding style. Nanahoshi didn't resist at all.

She was completely limp with an expression like her soul had been drawn out.

"Clear the path!"

We went straight through the crowd while Zanoba was yelling.

The people split like the sea.

I followed along through there.

Part 2

We arrived at the infirmary.

We laid Nanahoshi on the bed.

She was making a blank face.

It was a terrible face.

It looks like the shadow of death is coming out.

For the time being, I conveyed the important parts to the healing magician that was on duty.

Emotional conditions can't be cured with healing magic.

After suddenly looking at my feet, Julie was pulling at my cuff.

"Grandmaster, your face looks terrible."

After hearing those words I touched my own face.

Right now, I wonder what kind of face I'm making.

Ah, no, I'm probably considerably disturbed as well.

If I don't calm down a bit.

"Yeah, since I'm ugly after all."

I put my hand on top of Julie's head and patted it.

To think I'd even be making this kind of little girl worried.

"By all means, Shisho."

Suddenly, I was handed a cup from the side.

It's Zanoba.

"Thank you."

I received it with thanks and drank the contents.

It seems he got it from a pitcher that's reserved in the infirmary.

I felt a sensation like my tongue was coming undone from the top of my mouth.

It seems at some point unnoticed my mouth got completely dry.

"Fu…"

I sat in the chair and took a deep breath.

Zanoba was standing at my side and quietly asked.

"Shisho, what happened? It's the first time I've seen Shisho panicking this much."

"Ah…"

I explained the things that happened in the experiment room.

The experiment failed and that Nanahoshi started to act violently.

Since it seemed like she might die if I left her alone, I saved her.

After Zanoba heard that, he looked over Nanahoshi with a complicated expression.

"I guess she must not be doing her research because she wants to do it?"

"…That's right I guess."

No-no it's not like she's doing it.

It's not like she's doing it because she wants to do it.

She can't return if she doesn't do it.

If it doesn't go well, it can't be helped that it ends up like this.

It's been six years since the metastasis incident.

She's tripped on the first step.

"…"

I sighed and then reclined on the chair.

Somehow I'm tired.

Zanoba didn't say anything more than that.

We just blankly stared at the ceiling in front of Nanahoshi, just able to do nothing but stand still.

Part 3

After a short while, Nanahoshi closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Around the same time as that Sylphy appeared.

Ariel wasn't around.

"I came to confirm the story that Rudi and Zanoba-kun brought a female student to the infirmary."

It seems it was becoming a rumor.

I knocked a female student unconscious, brought her to the infirmary, and that I might end up doing something terrible to her.

That sure is cruel, why are they so lacking in trust of me. Is it because I'm the Bancho?

Though I haven't really done anything to earn their trust.

Well, it's fine.

I told Sylphy about the things that occurred in the research room.

The experiment failed and after that Nanahoshi went berserk.

And then, it ended up at the current situation.

"That sort of thing happened??"

Sylphy made a serious face and looked at Nanahoshi.

"Since it would be dangerous to leave her alone, I thought to let her sleep at our house for today."

"Wouldn't it be better to let her sleep in the infirmary I wonder?"

"At the time when she wakes up, it's better if there's a face she knows."

At the very least, during times like these it's no good if they're alone.

She'll fall as far as she can fall.

Nanahoshi is young. She doesn't seem like she has any sort of resistance to these sorts of things after all.

It could be that up until now several similar cases of irritability have happened as well.

However, I could feel that the shock was largely different this time.

The thing known as a person's heart, when it's shaken this violently it will fall as far as it can.

The place it will look to is, in other words, suicide.

"I don't know how long it will take for her to calm down though. I feel we should look after her for a bit and let her sleep over at our house."

"Umm, is it alright if I leave it to you?"

"If it's at the level of meals, then it's fine."

It's just keeping her quarantined until she calms down.

It might be good to let her escape from reality a bit as well.

Averting your eyes during painful times is occasionally important.

It's the so called strategic retreat.

"…It's not like I'm particularly planning to cheat."

"I understand that. Or else, is there something you're feeling guilty about?"

"Nothing."

There's absolutely no feeling of guilt.

Even though I say that, I'm bringing a different woman to our home.

Not only that, but a completely limp girl not putting up any resistance.

But, it seems Sylphy isn't going to doubt me.

So this is faith huh.

"I'll leave it to Rudi. Today are you going to return just like this?"

"Yeah. Shopping, I can't go together, but can I leave it to you?"

"Leave it to me."

I greatly nodded to Sylphy's trustworthy response.

As expected of Sylphy.

Part 4

After leaving the school and hurrying to my house.

Zanoba offered to transport Nanahoshi.

Just now it was carrying like a princess, but this time he's carrying her over his back.

Zanoba is a prince, but carrying on his back sure suits him.

"I'm sorry about this Zanoba."

"No, since I'm only useful in these sorts of ways."

Zanoba who was effortlessly carrying the limp Nanahoshi.

Behind that, Julie was toddling along.

If you put diving clothes with a drill attached to Zanoba, I'm sure it would be fine to call him Mr. Bubbles.

As a test, I decided to try lifting up Julie.

"Hyaa! Grandmaster, what is it?"

"Nothing."

Zanoba just made a fleeting glance this way.

I walked along while carrying Julie in my arms.

Julie's body was unexpectedly fluffy.

A year prior she was like skin and bones, but it seems she's properly been eating.

She's lacking a bit of muscle, but it's not like I'm going to demand something massive from a seven year old child.

"Julie, is Zanoba treating you well?"

"Yes, Master is giving me a lot of food."

"I see I see. Master is giving you lots to eat is he?"

"Master is giving me a lot of good food to eat."

"Very good."

Come to think of it, I wonder if Nanahoshi is properly eating her meals.

During the time when I was carrying her, I felt she was considerably thin.

I won't say as light as feather, but she was considerably light.

She might not be eating any decent food.

Meals are an emotional stability drug.

Eating the things you like, eating together with someone.

Just with that, people can become a bit happier.

I don't think Nanahoshi has done those sorts of things almost at all.

"Fu…"

I let out a sigh.

I wonder what kind of lifestyle Nanahoshi has been living.

Secluding herself alone and not eating anything decent.

Without having conversations with anyone, an everyday life of just drawing magic circles.

"It's not Shisho's fault, don't let it bother you too much."

"Yeah, I get that."

It seems Zanoba was caught by my sigh in a different meaning.

He was looking at me with an overly serious face.

It seems he's more worried about me rather than Nanahoshi.

Well, I'm sure Zanoba hasn't had almost any conversations with Nanahoshi after all, it can't be helped huh.

"…"

For a short while we walked silently.

And then I heard the sound of Julie's heart beating.

Since Julie is a child, her body temperature is higher than mine and warm.

Listening to a heartbeat is strangely relaxing.

Next time, I'll buy Julie something.

After a short while, we arrived at the house.

We went inside the room I prepared for the sake of my little sisters and placed Nanahoshi inside on one side.

She was completely limp stretched out on the bed.

Her eyes were open.

It seems that she woke up at some point.

But, it's still blank. I don't know where she's looking.

It's almost like a corpse.

I wonder if she'll really return to normal…

According to my diagnosis, it's still, just barely alright.

It's a considerably dangerous condition, but she's still alright.

There was a time where I fell into a similar place, but I was able to return from there.

Acting out is something like a spasm.

Those sorts of furious situations don't continue.

But for the time being, I grope around her clothes, and take anything that seems like it might work as a weapon.

She was holding onto a small knife.

I don't think you would die with this, but for the time being I'll hold onto it.

Inside the room there's nothing dangerous.

The window is… it's the second floor after all, a bit dangerous.

I guess I should fix it in place with earth magic huh.

Though if she shatters the glass of the window it would end there, but I want to think that right now she doesn't have that much energy.

Since Nanahoshi wasn't moving, I went down to the first floor.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"Well…"

When I went down to the first floor Zanoba asked somewhat worriedly.

This guy seems like he'd be indifferent to gloom after all.

Though you can say he has weaknesses, but he's fundamentally positive after all.

"In any case, you helped me out there Zanoba."

"No, since I'm always depending on Shisho after all. There's nothing to worry about with this much."

Zanoba declared it with his same composed face as always.

As expected, he's a reliable man.

"Shisho, you as well, are you alright?"

"Me? Why?"

"It looked like shisho received some kind of shock when Silent-dono collapsed."

I've received some damage.

I wonder if that's the case.

Yeah.

I guess it is.

Nanahoshi was raging about in insanity.

After I stopped that, she became something like an empty shell.

Seeing that from start to end, I remembered things from the past.

In Nanahoshi's case, the shape is slightly different from me, but it's mental agony.

I'm feeling empathetic.

If the circumstances were a bit different, the one like that might have been me.

"Somewhat. I remembered something painful from the past."

"Is it fine for me to listen?"

"…During the time when I was small, I became like that, and just got lethargic and shut myself off."

"It's a sensation that I couldn't understand."

It was a forsaken way of putting it, but I don't want to simply be told that he understands.

"I'm sure."

"In any case, if there's a time when you need my power again, please ask, since I'm only overflowing in just power after all."

"Yeah, I'll rely on you."

I feel grateful to Zanoba's good will.

This guy as well, even if it doesn't involve dolls he's a good guy after all.

After that, a short while passed and Zanoba returned.

Since I had nothing to do, I spent the time reading in the room where Nanahoshi was sleeping.

I hesitated a bit whether to leave her alone or not.

In my case, during these sorts of times, you really want to be alone.

However, she's always been alone up until now.

She was alone.

Until Sylphy returned, I was at Nanahoshi's side.