My Father in Law is Lu Bu

Chapter 252 – Roast Fried Chick (1)

That story of borrowing arrows, of course known by everyone who loved Romance of Three Kingdoms. The way of Zhuge Liang followed and thwarted Zhou Yu’s scheme, is truly praiseworthy. The story goes like this, at that period, Zhou Yu who had recognized Zhuge Liang’s threat, began to plot on how to remove him. When Zhang Zhao reported that they are lacking arrows, Zhou Yu ordered Zhuge Liang to produce 100,000 arrows within 7 days, however Zhuge Liang only asks for 3 days. For 2 days, Zhuge Liang produced scarecrows a lot and put them in 100 ships like Pang Tong just did and on the 3rd day dawn, he launched his ships. As at that time, there is very thick fog, Cao Cao, being a paranoid himself when he heard war drum, he quickly ordered his soldiers to shoot until they stop beating war drums. However, when the fog subsided, his eyes opened really wide as he has been played and that he had “gave out” 100,000 arrows effortlessly to Zhuge Liang with Zhuge Liang trolling him even further “Thank you to Prime Minister Cao, for these 100,000 arrows.”

In the past, when Liu Mang read this, he just thought Pah, this is just Luo Guanzhong’s fantasy who deified Zhuge Liang However Liu Mang really believed that strategy proved to be a real thing and an effective one at that. He is being hit by stratagem of borrowing arrows, slapping his face for his trolling words 2 days earlier.

The nature is on the side of Pang Tong right now, the wind, the wetness, etc. He had been calculating Liu Mang from the very start, from his lack of naval units to weather conditions in Shouchun. Liu Mang little regretted that he send all of Gan Ning’s naval units back to Lujiang, he should have left some of them here, so he can fight back and pin Liu Bei in Runan. Liu Mang then returned to his office and said to Liu Ye “Brother Ziyang, you go to our armory, take those. I want to bring those with me!” Liu Ye quickly understand what “those” are, replied “Understood, Milord. Ye will prepare everything!!!” And quickly run to the armory. Liu Mang then pound his fist into his other palm, doing similar gesture over and over again, his face is smiling maliciously while incensed and thought This is what it feels to be hit by karma eh? Really uncomfortable!!! So that damned Fried Chick is trolling me, eh? Let’s see whose trolling is the best now. When Liu Mang laughed like that, Xu Sheng felt really terrified as it reminded him of Wancheng. It reminded him of that day, the day he was forced to kneel in front of Liu Mang under threat of death by starvation. It gave him so much trauma in his heart, that this sight from Liu Mang now, made him tremble a lot, combined with Liu Mang’s Murderous Rampage, made Xu Sheng did not want to think even a slight thought of rebelling against him.

Xu Sheng then kneeled down and said “Milord, Xu Sheng is a fool, tricked by the enemy. Please punish me, Milord!” Wang Wei, seeing the situation is a serious one, quickly kneeled down and added “Milord, the mistake lies not with General Xu. It is Wang Wei’s oversight. Please punish Wei together with General Xu!” Wang Wei really admitted his oversight, really had not thought that a capable person of Liu Bei Army is playing them. Wang Wei thought We first played them and then they played us. This will make us a laughing stock in this entire nation as Guan Yu got his revenge. Ai... Wang Wei then release his breath dejectedly. But even though the loss is half of ordnances, if were not for Wang Wei stopping it, they will inevitably give all of those arrows to Guan Yu. With this, I hope General Xu’s mistake can be redeemed and did not warrant his death! Thought Wang Wei.

“Get up!!!” Commanded Liu Mang while smiling. Liu Mang then said “I didn’t blame all of you. You only have each other to advise one another, how can you get a third or fourth opinions? It is OK” and said “But, don’t any of you want payback?!” As he smiled maliciously.

[TN: If you want to read further, below is a lot of bullshit from author, here you go, start from here. I will mark it with brackets. If you don’t want, then skip it, to below.] {Xu Sheng is a first class general that he obtained from Wancheng and one of the two troops that he directly lead. And the Black Flag vice commander is Wang Wei, a commander of Jing Province who succumbed to Liu Mang’s mechanization and now work hard to strive for greatness. So it can be said, Liu Mang army comprised of a lot of new generals with several person will be mentioned now. Regarding Zhao Yun of White Riders. Since he was recruited, he continued to familiarize him with his troops. Also since Urban Army Cavalry comprised of Bing Province natives (northern people), a native of Changshan with northern accent will surely be accepted by them. His way of training his troops also different from Bing Province Wolf Cavalry’s regiment. If Bing Province Wolf Cavalry training regiment can be considered as raging torrents, then White Riders training regiment considered as calming water and it slowly eroded those former Bing Province Wolf Cavalry’s bloodlust into a state of stillness.

Regarding Wei Yan, Wei The Stubborn, he was placed by Liu Mang into Urban Army foot soldier and managed to climb his way up into a small company leader. Although he is still very unhappy with him, but he had developed consideration for people and become a better person thanks to Urban Army’s training regiment where Liu Mang said that teamwork and perfect coordination is essential for this army. Liu Mang’s principle is no one is a hero, no one is better than other, everyone is a gear in one machine called Urban Army. In regards with this, Wei Yan displayed his prowess very well and can be in sync and also help them to train in martial arts, becoming a coach.

Huang Xu and Cheng Yu recommended him highly and proposed to Liu Mang for Wei Yan become a batallion leader, but rejected by Liu Mang as he need to more press his arrogance and he had no more troops to spare.

The remaining one is Wang Wei who become a vice commander in Black Flag. This person’s value lies in his adaptability. He understood why he is placed into vice commander of Black Flag, he also quickly familiarize with Xu Sheng and Black Flag. He quickly grasped the way Xu Sheng’s mannerism and way of thought and soon become the true vice commander of Black Flag, able to work with Xu Sheng in sync. Being in sync with Xu Sheng, naturally he fell into Pang Tong’s ploy much like Yu Jin and Mao Jie who “provided” Zhuge Liang what he needed, however at that time, Yu Jin and Mao Jie also did not have third or fourth opinion, so to speak.} [TN: End of bullshit]

“Eh, payback?!” Said Xu Sheng and Wang Wei together, stunned and then looked at each other. They really could not understand what is Liu Mang thinking right now. They had seen that Liu Bei army is linking their ship with iron chain, in order to stabilize their ship while receiving arrows and their speed is slow as they need to maneuver their flagship in order to retreat, but how to take revenge without even a single ship on them? Swim with heavy armor and die sinking?

“We shoot them with fire arrows!!!” Said Liu Mang. Heh, now I can give you your interest and your receipt. Don’t you dare to think that this Shouchun of mine, only a bank with no manners. Thought Liu Mang silently. Xu Sheng then said “Milord, both me and vice commander Wang had tried it. It is no use, this wet weather no good to do fire attack!!!” When Xu Sheng said “both”, he just smiled in his heart as he did not involved in fire attack. Liu Mang then said “If using regular fire arrows, yes, your saying is correct. But we are using MY SPECIAL ammo!!! And it had arrived” Liu Mang then saw toward his armory, there are a team of cavalry dragging his special weapon.

Zhao Yun then said “Milord, all prepared!!!” When Xu Sheng saw Zhao Yun carried ballistae, he is awestruck. Where come ballistae? Should all of them given to Jing Province and Jiangdong?! Thought Xu Sheng. Liu Mang then said while slapping his ballistae “These ballistaes, is an improved edition based on those which sank Jiangdong Navy in Wancheng. I call it Ballistae Mk. 3!!!”

“Are you ready for some payback?!” Said Liu Mang toward Xu Sheng and Wang Wei. Liu Mang then received a wooden barrel from Zhao Yun. Inside the barrel is a crude black liquid which give pungent smell. What the hell is that?! Thought Xu Sheng and Wang Wei while pinching their nose. Liu Mang just smiled and did not explained it further. He just dipped his ballistae arrows so that whole arrowhead is covered with that. He had no more time to lose as Pang Tong is going further away from him.

Liu Mang’s Ballistae Mk. 3, employed a gear mechanization for aiming purposes also reloarding, and also a cartridge above it, resembling Zhuge Liang’s repeating crossbow while removing the need to pull bowstring. Much more like semi-auto weapon.

Liu Mang then said to Wang Wei, Xu Sheng and Zhao Yun “All of you, help me to dip the arrows in this liquid. Spread out!!!”

Liu Mang then cursed “Now, it is time for trolling back, you damned Roast Chicken, the number one dish of Huainan!!!” Liu Mang then asked a torch from Zhao Yun and quickly lit up his arrow. The arrowhead quickly engulfed in flame with just a touch of the torch.

Wang Wei then exclaimed “I know. This black thing is crude oil!!!” Wang Wei really worth of his experience. He resided in Jing Province, the place where everything can be found. Therefore he knows about crude oil. Regarding crude oil, crude oil is a very thick, dark liquid and it had a very pungent smell and very flammable. In Book of Changes, this substance is written as Fire Above Water and was written in the books, this can ignite anything, including stone and Liu Mang now used it to roast a Fledgling Phoenix into a Roast Chicken.

[TN: Another paragraph of bullshit, like upper page, if you want to read, be my guest. If don’t just pass it. Unworthy of reading] {This crude oil was found in one of Shouchun’s well and it is in its purest crude forms. Crude oil has been discovered in China since 5000 years ago. They used it for lighting, for insect repellant, for lubricant, painting and used it for fire arrows} [TN: Bullshit over]

Meanwhile at Guan Yu’s flagship. Guan Yu is still thanking Pang Tong “Military adviser! Yu thank Militar Adviser Pang a lot!!!” Finally, pride avenged Thought Guan Yu.

“Haha, General Guan. You really can shout, eh?!” Teased Pang Tong. With today battle, it can be considered that he and Liu Mang has been acquaintances twice over with the first one when he ordered Guan Yu to firmly stayed in Shouchun and now. Trebuchet? Thought Pang Tong again and again. Finally he muttered “Kongming, are you purposefully hiding your presence among Liu Mang’s army?!” If not, how can Liu Mang had an engineer expert who can create weaponry like this? Making Guan Yu lost in just one day. Pang Tong actually worried a lot, as his friend Xu Shu Xu Yuanzhi has become Liu Mang’s subordinate and he is possible to hide Kongming from public eye. However, he breathe in relief when Kongming is actually took up post in Jing Province. Pang Tong then start mocking Kongming Hahaha, Kongming. You are a blind dog who waste your talent serving an old dog. The moment when I and my wise lord conquered Jing Province, I will abduct you and I will make you kneel before my wise lord and you shall become my servant while I accomplish much bigger merit. And regarding Xu Shu, Pang Tong is not clear how he managed to become Liu Mang’s subordinate.

Regarding Liu Mang, he had big disgust since he appeared in this timeline. From his affiliation with Lu Bu, his inelegant insult toward Cao Cao, his “lucky” victory in Bagongshan, his insult toward scholars and finally, his massacre in Wancheng. Made him want to spit and piss on Liu Mang’s face, if a photograph already been invented now. In addition, his job advertisement ruined his reputation. You will not last long, oh “Prince of Shu”. Thought Pang Tong who continued drinking his wine. Also Yuanzhi, at least put up a good fight against me, don’t disappoint me Sneered Pang Tong.

“Military adviser, let us leave now! Yu had a bad feeling about this!!!” Said Guan Yu restlessly.

Pang Tong just hold his feather fan and said “Hahaha. General Guan, don’t worry even a bit. We are in a position where enemy will not be able to hit us at all. Also with chained ships like this, one need time to maneuver.”

Suddenly there is a scout coming into castle said “Military adviser, from Shouchun Naval HQ, there are arrows flying toward us!!!” Pang Tong laughed “Hahaha, more arrows? We don’t need anymore! Did Liu Mang intend to sink us with weight? Hahahaha” The scout replied “Military adviser, no arrow. Fire arrow!!!” Pang Tong replied calmly “Oh? Fire arrow?? Just get back to your post, they will not harm us!!!” Scout then become more agitated and said while gesturing “Fire arrow, big, very big!!!” Pang Tong then slammed his fist and said “ENOUGH!!!! BACK TO YOUR.....” Suddenly there is a sound “SLAM!!!” Shaking his entire ship and burning his wet fur, passing through into his castle and stuck infront of him. Pang Tong then said “How can this be?!” And he watched outside, a torrent of flaming arrows are flying toward him. Liu Mang then bellowed “YOU ARE NOT FLEDGLING PHOENIX ANYMORE. FOR NOW I WILL TURN YOU INTO A GODDAMNED ROAST CHICKEN, A FAMOUS DISH OF HUAINAN. YOU CHICKEN SHIT!!!!” And with his bellow, torrent of flaming arrows nonstop launched toward Guan Yu’s flagship.