My Father in Law is Lu Bu

Chapter 427

The brothel was filled with beautiful women and music. When Liu Mang asked whether Jia Xu could still do it, he was referring to Jia Xu’s lower part.

“Of course I can still do it!” The usually calm Jia Xu replied angrily.

“Oh, is that so? Then let us go in.” Liu Mang said as he pulled Jia Xu into the brothel.

“A brothel?” Two of the spies observing Liu Mang and Jia Xu frowned. Liu Mang had entered one of the best brothels. Only the wealthy could go there without shaming themselves. Two of the spies would be stopped at the front door with the way they are dressed while the spy that went shopping did not have enough money.

If he wanted to continue tailing Liu Mang, he would need to explain himself to his superior and request for more money. Just as he was about to leave, the shopkeeper caught him and asked. “What’s wrong with you? Do you want to buy this cosmetic or not?”

“I am not buying!” It was a stupid question. What would a man do with cosmetics?

“If you are not buying then you can’t leave! Look at it! You have already touched it all over. How am I supposed to sell it?” The shopkeeper accused. It was not that he could not sell that item anymore. However, the female customers that initially wanted to buy his products all changed their minds because this man was standing in front of his store for too long. It would be a different story if the spy did buy something but if the spy bought nothing, then his business was obstructed for no reason.

“Let go!” The spy angrily shouted and tried to forcefully break away from the shopkeeper. However, the shopkeeper was smarter. He quickly fell to the floor and shouted. “He is beating me! This scoundrel doesn’t want to buy things and even beats people up!”

People all loved gossip and dramas even during ancient times. The people gathered to watch and the spy was unable to escape. In the end, he was forced to give the shopkeeper money to keep the peace. When he looked back, Liu Mang and Jia Xu had already vanished.

However, Liu Mang and Jia Xu still haven’t realized that the spies were no longer following them. To keep up their cover, Liu Mang reluctantly continued into the brothel.

“Aiyo, noble son. Why did you only come now? Do you know how much we miss you?” A gorgeous woman approached the moment Liu Mang and Jia Xu entered the building.

“Miss us?” This woman was skilled. It was the first time Liu Mang and Jia Xu had entered this place. How could she miss them?

Liu Mang could not understand anything as this was his first time in a brothel and did nothing. On the other hand, Jia Xu seemed like a frequent visitor and quickly embraced the woman.

“You only miss the Young Master. What about me?” The woman was about to become angry as the Jia Xu was just a servant. However, he slipped a gold piece into her palm which she then kept on her person. The woman then beamed happily. “I miss you too!”

“Come. Prepare a nice room my Young Master.” Jia Xu said to the woman. The woman became more likeable after receiving the gold. She then let a pimp guide Jia Xu and Liu Mang to a room.

“You really know a lot.” Liu Mang said with a wry smile.

“There is no choice but to learn some things.” Jia Xu replied feeling pleased with himself. He could tell that this was Liu Mang’s first time in a brothel. The only reason why Jia Xu knew this much was because he was Dong Zhuo’s subordinate. While he never went there personally, he had been invited there by others. The brothel at Luoyang was even more magnificent compared to the one here. Jia Xu slowly became someone experienced in brothels.

“You know a lot. But can you do it?” Liu Mang teased.

“Of course I can!” Jia Xu shouted.

His defense caused Liu Mang to laugh. “We will find out whether you can. Come. Show me what is fun about brothels!”

“You are right to have chosen to come to our brothel. Our brothel is the largest one in Jingzhou. Even the brothel in Luoyang is no match for us.”

“Really?” Liu Mang asked.

“Of course! Our first floor is for those who want to drink wine and watch plays. Our second floor is for those who want to get more privacy and on our third floor, we have rooms where you can listen to music while drinking tea.” The pimp explained as he gave an expression as though he knew Liu Mang understood what he was talking about.

How could Liu Mang understand? This was the first time he had been into a brothel. In fact, he would have never entered if not for the three spies outside.

Jia Xu then explained to Liu Mang. The first floor is where all the common people go and they are all placed together. The women there are the less popular ones. The second floor has private rooms but the rooms were small. The women that serve the customers there were slightly prettier or they were the ones the customer fancied on the first floor.

Last but not least is the elegant rooms on the third floor. It is the room Liu Mang is currently in. It was pretty much an apartment room where they could also listen to songs. Their best women would attend to them as long as money is a huge amount of money is paid. That is why only the filthy rich would go to the third floor. Liu Mang was led here because his attire was extremely classy even though it was not like a King’s clothing. Meanwhile, Jia Xu was like a frequent customer and even paid one gold up front. These kind of people obviously deserved to be on the third floor.

“Then what about the fourth floor?” Liu Mang asked. As each floor was better than the last, the fourth floor should be better than the third.

“Young Master. The fourth floor is only for singing songs but they would not serve guests.” Jia Xu replied. The fourth floor is where they only sell art but not their bodies.

“Haha.” Liu Mang laughed. Could such a thing actually exist in such a place? It was a place for perverts fishing for compliments.

“Is the Young Master going to the fourth floor?” The pimp asked. Although the women were paid more for their other talents, they would actually earn less because they don’t serve wine there.

“No. The third floor is enough.” Liu Mang found it troublesome and if he were to go to such a place at a brothel, people would laugh at him. “Come. Serve us some food.” Liu Mang had been walking for half a day and had already become hungry. Jia Xu nodded and then took out another piece of gold.

The eyes of the pimp shone at the sight of the gold piece.

“Serve us tea instead of wine.” Liu Mang requested. As they needed to do important things later, they could not afford to get drunk.

When the food was served, Liu Mang looked at the dishes and shook his head. Even the food from the brothel could only be enjoyed by nobles. Meanwhile, others had to starve.

“Go and bring your women here for the Young Master!” Jia Xu requested. How could they not call for women in a brothel? About ten attractive women were brought over.

“This is Qiu He.” The pimp then introduced women to Liu Mang. The first one named Qiu He was wearing pink clothing.

“Qiu He?” Liu Mang appraised the woman and found that she was not bad. She had big pretty eyes and the right body proportions. She had a charm that cannot be hidden

“What about the one beside her?” Liu Mang asked as he pointed.

Before the pimp could reply, the woman spoke up. “This one is called Sha Bi.”

“Sha Bi?” Liu Mang was shocked at the name. There was actually someone with such a name.

The others were named Zi Yan (Captivating purple), Yan Ran (Beautiful), Mu Dan (Tree Peony) or other kinds of flower names. They were all refined names but this person is named Sha Bi (Finished writing).

In the end, Liu Mang and Jia Xu were attended to by six women. Both of them had one to their left, one to their right, and one more behind them. The women were virgins. Although Liu Mang did not have any complex like Cao Cao, since they were out to have fun he might as well have them cleaner.

The people who come here to eat are just using this as an excuse. What they wanted were women.

Liu Mang had an erection from the three women touching him. Although these women were trained, they were still virgins and blushed.

As Liu Mang had an erection, he did not believe Jia Xu could be indifferent. He wanted to go and tease Jia Xu but he saw Jia Xu walking while embracing one woman while the other two followed. They went into a room and then came out an hour later.

Liu Mang was dumbstruck. Jia Xu could handle three women for such a long time. Normal people could only do it for ten minutes. Any longer and it would not be a capability but a sickness. Yet Jia Xu was able to spend twenty minutes per person. He is truly an old and vigorous person.

“Hahaha.” Liu Mang was about to show his admiration but then he laughed as he held his own stomach.

“Young Master. Why are you laughing? Do you still think I can’t do it?” Jia Xu furrowed his brows

“You can! You can!” Liu Mang replied. He then offered the three women that followed Jia Xu a drink. The three women thanked him and accepted.

Jia Xu felt somewhat embarrassed when he realized that Liu Mang had heard the women continue to moan in the room for an hour. That was why Liu Mang offered them a drink. At the same time, the women was still walking normally despite the fact they were supposed to have lost their virginity. That meant that Liu Mang saw through Jia Xu’s trick.

“Hmph.” Jia Xu let this slight go and sat beside Liu Mang before drinking another cup of tea.

“Don’t mind it, Wenhe.” Liu Mang said after watching Jia Xu eating frankly. He may be of higher position but he still needed to take care of his subject’s feelings.

“It is not as though you are castrated right?” Liu Mang asked carefully.

“No. I just can’t get an erection.”

Liu Mang nodded at this. It was good as long “it” is not completely useless. After all, Jia Xu was already old. This was completely normal. “Wenhe. Do you want to become potent again?”

“Young Master. Are you still joking? Your jokes are not funny!” Jia Xu frowned. He did not like Liu Mang bullying him like this. He was impotent because he was old. Although Cao Cao was about as old as him, Cao Cao was still potent because Cao Cao could take better care of himself.

“No, I am not joking!” Liu Mang shook his head. “There is something that may be able to help Wenhe. It is whether you are willing to take it.” Liu Mang replied with a smile.

“If it is possible, Young Master will become my savior.” Jia Xu suddenly knelt in front of Liu Mang. Liu Mang was extremely shocked by this. Kneeling in front of your liege is one thing but it was extremely difficult to get Jia Xu to say such words.

Liu Mang did not know that to the ancient people, continuing their bloodline was very important. Jia Xu had been upset because he did not have any children of his own that is related to him by blood. Liu Mang who heard Jia Xu’s words was unable to fully interpret it.

“Wenhe. I do not know if this would truly work so you will need to mentally prepare yourself.” Liu Mang warned beforehand.

“Of course!” Jia Xu was already so old. It is not possible for him to be any more mentally prepared.

“Alright. Since Wenhe is going that far, I will support you. Use this carefully.” Liu Mang said to Jia Xu as he took out a small wooden box.

“Milord. What is in this?”

“Inside of this is a miracle medicine!” Liu Mang laughed as he opened the box. Several blue pills could be seen inside. Strange characters that Jia Xu could not read were also written on top of these pills.

Without doubt, this medicine was brought from the future. Liu Mang only had about a dozen of these pills. He initially intended to give some to his father-in-law. He also intended to give some to Liu Biao after hearing that Liu Biao got a wife that could give him children.

“Come! Eat one! You will become energetic again!” Liu Mang said to Jia Xu. Jia Xu looked at the medicine skeptically. Normally, medicine were black or dark purple. He had never seen one in such bright blue color.

Jia Xu gritted his teeth and resolved himself to eat the medicine. He quickly took three pills and swallowed it before Liu Mang could stop him and tell him how many pills to eat.

“Ah!” Liu Mang cried out and his mouth started to twitch. Did Jia Xu think that he was still extremely healthy?

“Wenhe! You only needed to eat one!” Liu Mang smiled bitterly. He felt as though one was enough for Jia Xu. Eating three may just end up killing him.

“Milord. Didn’t you say one is enough to have sex with a woman?” Jia Xu asked in fright.

“I am not saying one pill per woman!” Liu Mang no longer knew what to say. This old man truly intended to have fun with three women at once.

These pills were expensive. They were not fraudulent articles sold by small pharmacies. They were so effective that Jia Xu was quickly able to get an erection.

“Milord! Look! Look!” Jia Xu quickly became incoherent from his excitement. His body had also become hot. He had finally re-experienced a sensation he never had for decades.

“What are you even asking me to look at!” Liu Mang replied in disgust. He is not gay. Why would you ask him to look at your erected penis?

“Haha! This is enough!” Jia Xu spoke with vigor and quickly took the three women with him to the back. Liu Mang soon heard real moans. He smiled bitterly and shook his head, hoping for Jia Xu to eventually come back.

While Liu Mang initially had an erection as well, it disappeared the moment he thought of his fierce wives. Liu Mang was someone who hate discarding things. If he had sex with these three women, he would definitely bring them home. This would only bring him more problems in the future.

Jia Xu came out thirty minutes later looking pale but joyful. On the other hand, the three women did not come out and were resting in bed.

“Young Master. I’d like to request you to purchase these three women.”

“You are even prepared to take these three with you.” Liu Mang replied in admiration.

“Of course.” Jia Xu replied excitedly. With these three women, there was a high chance that one of them could give birth. That was enough for Jia Xu.

“Alright, alright. We will buy these three when he return. If one of them could give birth to a child, I will help arrange a noble position.”

“Thank you very much, Young Master.” Jia Xu gave his sincerest gratitude.

Liu Mang and Jia Xu planned to leave after eating. Liu Mang also had people go and purchase the three women but arranged for these three to be sent elsewhere. After all, Liu Mang was still in Liu Biao’s territory and was already having difficulty protecting his own safety.

“Yan Ran! Come out!” An angry roar came while Liu Mang was enjoying himself. Liu Mang frowned when he heard this. Although they were in a spacious and comfortable place, this voice made him feel uncomfortable.

“Lord Kuai! You can’t do this! I have already said that Yan Ran is not feeling well. You cannot see her!” The old woman1 replied.

“Hmph! Is feeling unwell enough of an excuse to not see me?” The man’s voice grew louder. “Don’t think I am unaware that you allowed Yan Ran to receive guests! Send her out! I want to see who dared to take my woman!”

“No. We haven’t sent her to receive guest. Lord Kuai! What are you doing?”

Liu Mang was about to ask who this person was when the old woman spoke of the man’s identity. It did not take long for the man to angrily barge into the room.

“Impudent!” Liu Mang immediately shouted with all the dignity befitting of his station. This one word intimidated the man standing outside. However, the man soon snapped out of his stupor and became angry.

“Who do you think you are to speak to me like that?” He then scolded the old woman. “Didn’t you say that Yan Ran is sick? Why is she here?”

“Lord Kuai!” The woman also called out once she saw the man. Meanwhile, the old woman bowed down to Liu Mang and Jia Xu as he apologized for the disturbance.

“What is going on here?” Liu Mang was very unhappy. He and Jia Xu came here to hide from pursuers. The last thing they needed was a commotion.

The old woman was unable to properly give an explanation. He could not have expected things to turn out this way. Kuai Ran was from an influential family in Jingzhou but he doesn’t spend money for the brothel. The old woman was unable to chase him away due to the man’s powerful backing.

Kuai Ran fancied Yan Ran but the woman was a virgin. That was why he introduced her to Liu Mang so that he could still make a profit from Yan Ran’s virginity while not offending Kuai Ran. Who knew that this Kuai Ran would come right at this moment?

That was how they arrived at this scene. Kuai Ran was someone who refused to pay after receiving the services even though he was well off. He was truly a humiliation to brothel customers everywhere.

“Boy. Do you know who my father is?” This Kuai Ran sneered at Liu Mang.

“I don’t.” Liu Mang replied as directly as possible. He didn’t even know who this Kuai Ran is.

“My father is Lord Meng Liang!”

“Lord Mengliang?” Liu Mang was still confused. Who is Meng Liang? Wasn’t this person named Kuai? Kuai is quite a common family name in Jingzhou. There were at least a thousand people named Kuai. Yet his father’s name is Meng, one of the more noble-like names. On the other hand, Jia Xu reacted as though he knew who Meng Liang was. As Liu Mang could not call out Jia Xu’s name, he simply signaled for Jia Xu to explain.

Jia Xu explained that if he was right, Meng Liang is not the person’s name but how the person is addressed. It was a title Liu Biao had given Kuai Yue for helping him obtain Jingzhou through wits and combat. Although Kuai Liang also helped, Kuai Yue was able to become both a general and a strategist. He had gone to battle many times in the past.

“The Kuai Family’s son?” Liu Mang asked with his eyes wide.

“Of course! Are you afraid now?” Kuai Ran asked cockily.

“Afraid?” Liu Mang was truly afraid. He was afraid that this Kuai Ran would run away.

Liu Mang came out this time to receive help from Kuai Yue and now he found Kuai Yue’s son. He laughed happily. After making friends with Kuai Ran, he would be able to contact Kuai Yue. Just as Liu Mang was about to try and make friends with Kuai Ran, another two people barged into the room.

Liu Mang smiled bitterly to himself. What do they think this room is? Why is everyone barging into my room?

“Oh look who it is, it is Kuai Ran!” One of the two newcomers spoke out. They were here not to look for Liu Mang but to look for Kuai Ran.

“Huang Kai! Huang Chen!” Kuai Ran called out while gnashing his teeth.

Who could these two be? Kuai Ran is of the Kuai Family. Even if he had no money, people still had to show him respect. However, these two newcomers did not. This meant that these two had equally powerful backing.

Based on their names, Liu Mang believed them to be one of Huang Zu’s close relatives. They could be Huang She’s cousins. When Liu Mang thought of Huang She, his anger flared up. Huang She had almost killed him with that ambush so Liu Mang would not be indifferent about this.

On top of that, Kuai Ran and the Huang brothers don’t seem to be getting along. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Liu Mang wants to use this to his advantage. He can use this opportunity as an excuse to get close to the Kuai Family as he originally intended and take revenge on the Huang Family as well.

_____

TN/rant: This whole chapter is “infuriatingly vague”/”worded weirdly” at a lot of places and needed changing/removal. For example, the first paragraph actually describes the scenery full of beautiful women, wonderful music, and wine to go with it, setting up the whole thing to call the establishment a “happy place” 乐馆 . Then describes that this is just calling the place ‘nicely’ and calling it ‘not nicely’ is a brothel 青楼. Since “happy place” also ultimately translates to brothel, the entire paragraph wouldn’t make sense in English.

This does not apply to just this alone. There are plenty of “vague” words used in several other places. In some cases there is only one interpretation and in others, there can be other interpretations such as “My little brother won’t stand up.” (not actually used. He used a different one that is harder to translate but essentially mean the same thing) (It means they can’t get an erection). That is not even counting the weird out of place sentences that pop out of nowhere like the one marked with strikethrough. (I left that one there because it doesn’t suffer from “vagueness”. If it was both that and also vague then the entire sentence goes missing because there would be no reasonable way to translate it without butchering everything else within 2 adjacent Pikachu! paragraphs.)

Last but not least is the “missing words”. Since he probably can’t R-18, words involving private parts is missing. So a lot of sentences are missing a context.

In the end, I just decided to be as direct and in some cases as R-“I don’t give a damn” as possible because I am losing my sanity and can’t be bothered thinking whether I should ignore the need for a context, be cryptic, or just outright say penis (It is not you guys, it is me fearing possible WordPress regulations). Basically, I will just type whatever comes to mind and ignore consistency.

Honestly, this happens every time the author tries and write something closer to R-18 that I wish he’d just stop. And if you friggin insist on an adult themed historical story, the least you could do is get aluminium properties right! And if anyone asked me what I am smoking to suddenly go batshit insane, the answer is haze (it was hazy when I typed this), discount porn, retardism, and this mountain sized bush I keep running into.

This old woman here is the one that ‘raises’ the girls up. Kind of like the producer for idols except this time it’s the prostitutes. Later chapters will include the manager that deals with the place and the “owner” that is, the major shareholder of the company.