My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World



I never thought in all my life I'd ever be in a high-stake hostage situation before. All those crime flicks and cop shows I'd gleaned over every once in a while on television had really set me up for quite the preconception as to how one would usually go. 

On the other side of the flatscreen, it was all guns drawn and careful negotiating as an innocent's life hung precariously in the balance. Reality, on the other hand, turned out to be much more dramatic than that. 

"Now," Ria's eyes darted fast, cautious, her tone resounding a warning for no sudden movement as she slowly laid the hostage atop the counter. "My head's been putting two-and-two together all this while I've been up, and I'm really struggling to believe what it's trying to tell me. So instead, I'm trying to convince myself that I'm just stupid. Easier that way. Hell, it's actually believable, so ten points for that alone." 

Irene slowly joined her there across the counter, silent, waiting, yet much like me, already knowing exactly where this was all going.

"Many, many things must have happened since I've been gone, hm?" Ria went on, having a lighter, funnier conversation all on her own. "I mean, between getting rid of the Blight and this, I'm sure there must have been lots and lots of happenings beforehand to get from point A to point X - or whatever the hell letter we're currently on right now."

"And also far more important things to talk about like - " 

"This though, this right here…" she interrupted, tapping the heart-adorned top of the chocolate box with an eagerness only matched by the smile on her face. "...I especially want to know how exactly this could have happened." 

The tapping stopped, and with the same finger, she flicked and slid the box  over, momentum dwindling just short of Irene's flattened palms. Then, with elbows slumping and a stool scraping out, Ria had never been more of a diligent listener.

"Don't be brief," she requested. "There's no climax without the build-up, I always say." 

"Fine," Irene said, snatching the box and keeping it protected behind folded arms. "I'm no longer single." 

Ria blinked, anticipating. "And?" 

"And that's all that happened there," Irene glared, marching quickly and placing back the box, shutting the fridge with a rattling slam. "The end." 

Oh, c'mon, I played nice! Cooperated just as you wanted," Ria said, swiveling around her seat, following her every move. "Isn't this when you're supposed to do what I want now?" 

"I'm not obligated to do anything, actually."

"Fine, I'll just go ahead and kindly refer to the good cop instead," Ria shifted focus once again, peering over at me who had become little more than set dressing at this point. "So, what changed? what happened? Two lonely souls, two grieving individuals bonding over a mutual loss? What is it?" 

"It's a long story," I said, much to her vexation and dismay. "And besides, don't you already know it?" 

She frowned at that. "Do I?" 

"Before. I explained all of this to you before already. Y'know, back when I was first trying to wake you?" 

"News to me."

"Well, I did. You asked about Irene. You asked about me," I said, recalling, and promptly shuddering. "You weren't exactly happy with what you had to hear at first." 

"Sounds like me," Ria said, bobbing her head up and down before following it up with a weave from left to right. "But that ain't me. Are you sure it was even me you were talking to?" 

"It was," I insisted, before recalling again. "Or at least… I think… a fragment of you, maybe. Ria-zero, you called yourself." 

"Then there you go," she said, huffing. "Catching up with some subconscious manifestation - how am I supposed to know anything?" 

And at that, my mouth could only just hang loose. "She's in your mind!"

"And so what?" Ria blew on her lips. "I ain't in hers."

Okay, just how the hell does consciousness even work?!

"Divines, it's just one simple question," She said with thinning patience. "Do I seriously need to spell it out? Are you two going out with each other or not?!" 

"Yes," Irene answered, equally as exasperated or maybe even more so. "And I mean that. Really mean that. No doubts, no lies, I'm going out with him. That's the point X we're currently in. No double meanings being said here either, so don't you even dare ask twice. There - is this clear enough an answer for you?" 

Ria seemed to have sunk a couple of inches into her seat faced against Irene's tirade. In a moment of rarity, her usual smugness was wiped clean off her face. 

"Seriously?" she asked quietly.

Irene blinked hard. "Ria, I just told you - "

"No, you woke me up, you saw this coming!" she barked at her, flames flickering along with her intensity. "So now you bear with me, and you tell me - Irene, seriously?" 

"Why are you so hung up on this?" 

"Because you made me hung up on this!" Ria exclaimed, quickly rising to her and thrusting an accusing finger. "How did it go again? Your core belief in life? Never wavering, never once straying? Goes a little something like - ah, that's right - love's not real!"

And then staggering aimlessly out of the kitchen, Ria spun around at her, flailing her arms in a flutter of bright embers.

"Told me you'd never love. Said you'd never meet anyone. I say you're wrong, you told me I'm wrong - well then! Well, well, well then! Mind explaining yourself now, young lady?" 

Staring at them both, it seriously felt like I was looking through a skewed reflection of the past… somewhere deep in the green of a forest, somewhere deep in a dream, I remembered this exact conversation too.

"Beliefs can change," Irene muttered.

"No, that's the thing! You said yours won't! That it'll never! Never ever! And then what - ?" Ria let out a breathless scoff. "All that denial, all that insistence, only to flip on a dime? And for him of all people?!" momentarily, she snapped back to her senses to flash me a sweet smile.  "No offense to you though - I mean, you're nice enough, you're good… but, come on, you're not that good." 

"Um," I wasn't really sure what emotion to feel, to use. "Apology accepted?" 

"No, I don't believe it!" Ria said, returning back to her maddened ramblings again. "I can't believe it! For my darling, stoic Irene to fall from purity so easily! You wouldn't allow it! Not unless you've met the absolutely perfect person - you wouldn't dare let yourself!" 

"Yes, exactly," Irene said wearily. "So shouldn't that be proof enough already?" 

"Proof? What proof?" Ria batted her eyes at her, so fast, so instant, it looked like she wasn't even blinking at all. "A chocolate box, and a funny necklace. Of course, the quintessential signs of a love so true! Yes, how could I have been so blind?" 

"You're the one who wanted an answer," I said, bemused. "Now we give you one, and suddenly we're lying? It ain't real?" 

"I'm not saying it's not real,"  Ria said. "I'm just saying it just doesn't seem real enough, you know?"

"Fine then - don't believe us," Irene snapped. "Doesn't matter either way. We'll just move on from this topic and - " 

"Oh, it doesn't?" Ria challenged again. "Matters so little you can't even be bothered to prove its sincerity? Yeah, I suppose you're right… if that ain't true love to a tee, then I - " 

And for some odd reason or another, Irene took those words personally. I only saw it for a second - bubbling hot anger in her eyes - before suddenly the rest of her consumed my entire vision. With a breath, she was all I could smell… and on my lips, she was all I could feel. 

A second later, with a resounding smack, Irene drew her face away from mine, facing a mildly-baffled Ria - wide, unblinking eyes, having watched everything unfold.

"I've changed," Irene said. "Believe me now?" 

"Yeah… but… like…" Ria stammered. "I mean, hah - what's even a kiss to someone who could care less what a kiss is supposed to signify? You see people do it all the time. It's easy. See, if you really did love him, then you would have - "

But Irene was already two, three, a thousand steps ahead of her. Knowing Ria the longest and knowing her best, she knew the language and the actions that she would best understand. 

Grabbing my wrist, and pulling my arm, Irene placed my hand against her red jumper, pushing deep into the soft fabric… until I landed something, rested on something even softer… and then wearing still the same stoic, determined expression… she had me give her breasts a tight squeeze. 

"There you go, Ria," Irene said curtly, and simultaneously, so sincerely. "I'm in love." 

And suddenly, all was quiet. No more comebacks, no more condescending scoffs. Ria stood frozen in place, her flames in a stagnant simmer.

"Hypocrite," she whispered, mustering only enough strength to feebly shake her head, and very faintly, very begrudgingly, forming a smile. "Good for you."

Then with sharper, more harsher eyes, Ria pierced through me with an ominous stare. 

"And lucky you, huh?" she said.

"Extremely," I replied.

"Still," she went on, her cold yet fiery stare never once abating. "I could've sworn you had the hots for that Elf you had with you before. You seemed really, really into her the last I remembered. What's her name again? I think it goes something like…

"Ash…" I answered, feeling a ram from within my ribs.

"Yes, that's the one! I remember her. And I definitely remember you. Remember that? All that time spent planning, scheming, doing our best trying to bring you two together. So, what then? It didn't work out between you two or something?

It happened. I looked away, I took a breath - blatant signs of weakness - and her eagle-eyes caught it in an instant. 

'Hey," Ria raised a brow. "Did it? 

"Ria," Irene stepped in, and even she sounded less like herself. "It's complicated, what we have - so if you could just listen for a while, and…"

"Oh, don't worry about me," she interjected, assuring, and honestly, a bit terrifying. "I'm listening…"