My Unconventional Lover: Seeing A Different World

272 Keep Our Hands To Ourselves

(Jane’s PoV)

With an accusing glare, I looked at them. The awkward expression and the way they looked away and refused to meet my eyes were the obvious sign that what I said was right.

“Fine. I still can’t get used to the feeling of not sleeping with you and having you within my reach.” Tom was the first one to submit and confess. His face was flushed in embarrassment as he had to admit the deepest wish in his heart.

“Me too.” Sanji added with a blushing face.

These two men were seriously cute but I couldn’t let myself being swayed by them. Previously, any cute acts would lead to a foreplay and a long sex. But, ever since we promised to stop it and focused on improving ourselves, they had not touched me at all, except the light kisses on the forehead and cheeks and holding hands during movie or book time.

I had always locked my room other than the time when we were in City Y. Back to my own home, it was just a habit due to the familiar place. Turns out it was the right decision. I woke up when I heard someone twisted on the door knob. Since there was no attempt to forcefully open the door, I let it go and tried to g back to sleep. Then, it happened again. Since there were only the three of us in the house, and the White Army wasn’t being alarmed of the intruder, I could only assume that one of them would be taking the responsibility of this suspicious act.

Then, I started noticing other things, such as the difference of footsteps and the whispers or the sigh before he left the door. The intruder wasn’t only one, but two people. Comparing with the way they sighed or whispered, the conclusion wasn’t wrong at all. It was really the two of them coming into my doorstep in different time of the night. I didn’t intend to bring this up and just let them be, actually. But, our current circumstances allowed me to bring it up as an excuse to live separately from the both of them.

Also, it wasn’t like we broke up. We just lived separately. Why did they have to make it sound like a permanent decision for life?

“Guys, deal with it. We have talked about it before and we all agreed to keep our hands to ourselves. Don’t you dare break your promise.” I warned them with a stern face, trying my best to look serious.

.....

If I didn’t discipline them, they would think that I could be swayed with how manipulative they were. It was truly harder for men than women to let go of their sexual desire, especially after they tasted the one they really liked. As the only woman between these two healthy men, I should be the one who hold the anchor and warned them. After all, it was for our sake, not for the others. As Siji said, something needed to be sacrificed for a perfection.

Seeing the both of them clammed down their mouths tight, I ended our conversation and went upstairs to my room. A good night bath and a serious conversation with Siji would be next in my schedule for today. Sanji and Tom didn’t need to know what I was talking about with Siji.

The night was getting colder and darker and the night activity of the night creatures and entities were getting hectic. Looking out the window, I was contemplating of what I should ask Siji, composing a series of questions about the topic I needed him to answer as well as preparing a counter if he refused to answer. Only after I thought that I was ready then I called upon him.

“Siji.”

“Yes, Milady.” As usual, he came in a beat of heart.

“That... that was the forbidden skill I asked you before, right?”

“...” He took a second to answer and the hesitation was clear in his expression. “Yes, Milady.”

“You can do it, too, right?”

Again, the hesitation almost made him turn his head away. “Yes, Milady.”

“It’s not something shameful. Why are you hesitating?” I asked him in curiosity.

Siji sighed. “I know what you want to say and what you want to ask, Milady. I’m hesitating because I don’t like where this is going.”

As expected, he still didn’t approve me learning about that skill. “What’s the name of the skill again? I can’t remember it.”

“Soul possession.” He said.

Even the name was cool! How could I not feel attracted towards this skill? As the name was indicating, it was not about a mere bodily possession. It was a soul possession.

“Should I learn it by myself, or you’ll teach me by yourself?”

“Milady, this matter isn’t as easy as possessing a body. It is a skill to integrate one’s soul into another, in the form of spirit or soul. It’s like that movie that I saw before, a mutant, I think? The process is painful for the first timer since you have to tear your soul to fix the other soul. If you can do it perfectly with your soul, possessing a spirit is a lot easier. But, the agony of tearing up your own soul is not something ordinary people can bear. And I can’t bear to see you taste the same agonizing pain.” Siji’s explanation truly made me speechless. It was easy to understand and an impulsive one would say that it was easy, but I knew for sure how painful it was to experience that.

After all, I’ve been stabbed repeatedly to make me focus and able to ignore the bodily pain. I couldn’t imagine the torture if I were to master this skill. If it was a self-inflicted pain, I was sure I would stop before it was too much to bear. But, to learn this skill, even if I felt that I was already on the gate of hell, I needed to grit my teeth and not lost any focus.

Just imagining it could make my hair stand on end. It was pure torture.

“Now you know why I don’t want to talk about it?” Siji must have noticed the change in my expression.

I swallowed the lump in my throat hard. It was truly unexpected. I thought it was just a matter of enchantments and not a self-abuse in the name of mastering a great skill. How na?ve I was!

“Then, is there any consequences after one is performing this skill?”

“No matter how good someone at this skill, attaching and detaching their soul like that, of course it will feel hurt. It’s just that the master is getting better at controlling the pain than when she or he started learning it. They will need at least one to five minutes to adjust themselves after detaching from someone.”