Nurturing the Hero to Avoid Death

By the time they finish praying, the sun has completely set. The scattered splatter of stars and half of the moon can be seen amidst the dark blue sky.

Marie stops Alfred from returning to the ranch, then tells him to stay for the night since it’s already late. Plus, she adds, the Cheddars would surely be surprised and anxious to see him return in such a dirty state.

As Alfred listens to Marie’s words, he thinks about it for a while. Afterward, he looks down at himself and appears to have been convinced. And so, it’s decided that he will stay in the church tonight and return home tomorrow morning.

I return to the carriage that has been waiting for me by the church’s gate.

“Shurio,” I call out.

“Y-yes!” Shurio, who seems to have been taking a nap on the coachman seat, jumps up all of a sudden. “Ah, Young Master! Are we to return to the mansion now?”

“…No. I plan to stay in the church tonight. Can you pick me up tomorrow?”

I don’t feel at ease just going home and leaving Alfred in that state.

Because during the entire ordeal, Alfred has never cried. Not even a tear..

On the contrary, his face has been constantly blank. It’s as if he has lost all emotion.

As if he has reverted to his old self.

Shurio stares at me, then flashes a smile.

Just what’s with all that affection in his smile?

“I understand. I will make sure to inform the butler of this as well. Please don’t worry, Young Master, and have a proper rest.”

“Thanks, Shurio… I’m always in your care.”

Shurio’s face reddens. Flustered, he waves his hands.”No no no, you don’t have to t-t-thank me! P-please give my regards to your friend, Young Master. Tell him to have a good rest as well today!”

“Yeah. I’ll tell him.”

“Then, I will head back to the mansion. Good night, Young Master.”

“Good night, Shurio. It’s already dark, so be careful.”

“Yes!” With a smile, Shurio waves his hand before guiding the horse and the carriage toward the mansion.

With that, Alfred and I end up staying in the church’s guest rooms for the night.

As for why Alfred didn’t stay in his old room, it’s because one of the older kids has already moved to his room.

There are three guest rooms on the second floor, so each of us takes a room.

After I get out of the bath, I encounter Marie, who is just leaving the dining room with a tray in hand.

She seems to have heated two mugs of milk for Alfred and me and is about to bring them to our rooms.

I thank her before offering to bring Alfred his mug too. After all, I’ll be returning to my room, and our rooms are near each other. Marie nods in reply and hands me the tray.

After I receive it, Marie looks up at me and nods again, this time slowly. I don’t know why.

With the tray, I climb up to the second floor. She simply watches me, a smile on her face.

I pass by my room and stop before the door of the room next to mine. I rap my knuckles against the door twice.

I strain my ears and wait for a while, awaiting a response from inside the room. But I hear none.

I once again knock twice.

This time, I get a reply. “Oh,” answers Alfred in an absentminded manner.

That’s the only response he gives. After that, he grows quiet again.

I decide to enter the room without asking for a clear reply. The rooms in the church don’t have locks anyway.

Inside, the desk lamp is turned on, illuminating half of the room.

Dressed in his sleepwear, Alfred is sitting on the bed, his towel still around his neck.

His face is turned toward the window, an absentminded expression on it.

I raise the steaming gray mug right before Alfred. “Do you want to drink this hot milk, Alfred? Marie made a mug each for us. It’s delicious.”

Alfred only shoots me a glance before immediately shaking his head. Following that, he turns back to the window again.

I follow his line of sight. There, I faintly see the outline of a small hill beneath the dark blue night sky.

It’s the hill where Alfred’s father, Sunny, used to lay.

I release a small sigh and put the tray on the desk.

…Did I make the wrong choice?

Should I have told him about this after all?

That deep inside the western forest where people rarely venture, his father has been waiting for help for a long time. All alone.

“…I’m sorry, Alfred.”

Maybe I should have told him.

Maybe I really did make a mistake.

It’s up to Alfred to decide whether my decision was a mistake or not…

And when he has decided, I’ll probably no longer be able to get him to call my name again.

Finally, Alfred shifts his gaze from the hill to me. He tilts his head in confusion. “Why are you apologizing?”

Because I did something bad.

I can’t bring myself to fake a smile at the moment. I don’t want Alfred to see my face like this, so I pull his head to my chest and hug him.

I stroke Alfred’s slightly stiff blond hair, and he rubs his face against me, acting like a spoiled child. He slowly wraps his arms around my waist.

In a hushed voice, Alfred begins to say, “My father, he… he told me his wish was to go to the east. To that ‘utopic country.’ It’s why he’s frugal with his money. He rarely spends money when outside. All so that he, Mother, and I can go there one day.”

“Is that so…”

Alfred nods. “Yeah. He said that everyone is happy there… Later on, Father headed to the eastern continent because of his work… And in the many years that have passed since he left, not once did he ever return home. My mother still believed that my father would one day come back, but I… had already lost hope of that happening. After all, that ‘utopic country’ is in the east. And Father himself said he wanted to go there, so… I thought that Father already went to that country on his own and has been enjoying his life there. I thought that’s the reason why he never came back.” A brief pause. “I thought he had abandoned us.”

That’s…

“But I was wrong. I used to think that if I ever meet Father again, I’d definitely punch him. But now… I can’t believe that I never found him even though he’s been this close to me all this time. I really am a horrible son.”

I gulp.

I prevent my hand from trembling and continue stroking his hair. “Sorry…”

Alfred breaks into a slight, troubled smile. “Again, why do you keep apologizing?”

“…It’s…”

It’s all because of me.

I kept my silence, even though I knew you would be filled with grief in the future.

I’m the most horrible one.

“Because… I lied to you.”

Alfred slowly looks up. “Lian…?”

“I’m a liar.” I look down at Alfred with a fake smile on my face. Just like the liar I am.

There’s no way he can like someone like me.

As I thought, I should wake him up. Make him come to his senses.

This is for Alfred’s sake.

After all, the person by his side should be that gentle girl with the same hair and eye color as him.

That Holy Maiden with a beautiful heart. That girl who’ll watch over him in the future with a calming smile.

Meanwhile, my original role is Alfred’s bully. Someone that he should hate.

Yes, this is good.

The original storyline will finally fully get back on track again. Though quite a bit late.

I couldn’t make myself do it until now. Being by your side has just been too warm, too comfortable.

I keep on thinking, maybe I can stay for just a little bit longer. Be with you for a little longer.

But now, the moment has finally come.

It’s okay.

I’ve already prepared myself for this day.

In the first place, I knew it was impossible for me to remain by his side forever. Not when I keep lying and deceiving him.

Such selfish and dishonest behavior isn’t allowed.

…Just what kind of fantasy was I expecting?

I’m really stupid.

I let go of Alfred and take a step back. “Hey, Alfred. If… if I… actually knew beforehand that your father was there, what would you do?”

“…What did you say?” Alfred’s clear sky-blue eyes narrow. He shoots me a probing gaze.

Imitating the original Lian’s scoff, I reply, “Well, your father’s situation has nothing to do with me anyway. So to me, it doesn’t matter whether I tell you or not. Besides, there’s nothing in it for me. I’m not obliged to tell you either… I… I know a lot of things, but I don’t and won’t bother to tell you or anyone else about them, even if I know that not knowing brings you guys suffering. Also, I… really think that you guys are very annoying. It’s better if you can all just leave me alone.” I also pair my words with the original Lian’s cold and condemning look.

Alfred narrows his eyes even more.

He’s probably angry.

No, he definitely must be after what I said.

Anyone will surely be angry to hear that. So there’s no way he isn’t.

But, this is fine.

With this, “my” relationship with Alfred will finally become how it should be. To that estranged relationship we should have after graduation.

“You truly think we have nothing to do with you?”

“Yeah. That’s right. You guys have nothing to do with me.”

Alfred quietly stares at me, his blue orbs, now in a darker shade, seeming to be searching for something within me.

“…You really think so?”

“Yes. I do.”

Alfred falls silent, face twisting in a frown. His eyes still remain narrowed.

He continues to stare at me for a while more. Afterward… he sighs as though amazed. Why?

“Then, why do you look like you’re about to burst into tears any time soon?”

“…?!”

Realizing my mistake, I lower my head to hide my face and hurriedly wipe the corner of my eyes.

My fingers and cuffs grow wet. Seriously? I remember pasting a fake smile on my face just now. Why are my eyes wet?

And for some reason, I can’t completely wipe all my tears. I start to panic.”W-what are you saying? I’m not crying. That’s just your imagination.”

My tears won’t stop. My cuffs only grow wetter and wetter as I keep wiping them. Because of that, I’m unable to raise my head immediately.

Ahh, really.

Get a hold of yourself, me. I beg you. This is my body, so please listen to what I, the owner, have to say.

Still gazing at me, Alfred heaves a remarkably deep sigh. “…Well, you certainly are a liar.”

“Huh? Woah!”

All of a sudden, he grabs my arm and pulls me toward him with a lot of force.

Before I notice it, my field of view has changed. All I see in front of me are the ceiling and Alfred’s face. Apparently, he has thrown me onto the bed.

From the corner of my eyes, I see him raise a hand.

He probably intends to hit me.

But despite thinking so, I make no move to resist.

His anger’s completely reasonable.

Even I agree that the things I said to him are incredibly terrible.

Also…

I once promised not to lie to him. But I broke that promise. I’ve been lying and fooling him all this time.

A selfish, horrible, and dishonest guy like me… deserves to get beaten.