Once Upon a Time In Hollywood

  Chapter 113 makes sense, but don't listen!

"This is definitely one of the worst movies ever made! And one of the most twisted logic I've ever seen! If HA1 takes place in a wealthy neighborhood, there are enough guards there that Kevin can A smooth trip, what about "HA2"? A twelve-year-old kid, wearing an expensive yuppie costume, appeared in Central Park at night, and was not robbed by robbers? This alone makes me sick! The law and order in New York is so Okay? Have I been here for thirty years for nothing?"

"I love "HA1"! Because of the normal logic in that movie! Two thieves will lose power, so Kevin can't call the police! The community police are lazy and stupid, which gives the thief an opportunity! Potential plot The loopholes were neatly handled by the writers! But HA2 has no charm at all! He's just a **** retelling! I don't even understand why Kevin didn't call the police! I don't even understand how the hotel staff agreed to Kevin using his dad It’s a credit card! This is pure Hollywood rogue sequel! I can’t see any sincerity other than making money!”

"After watching "HA2", there is only one image in my head, and that is FOX saying to all the crew members: 'Hey, let's do it again and make the exact same movie!', if "HA1" In "HA2", he seems to be the devil child in "PetSematary"! He tried to use fire, electricity, and bricks to deal with those two poor thieves! One thought In the movie theater, those children who saw the burglar being tortured for half an hour can laugh out loud, I shudder! And I also understand why Fox has not held the premiere since "HA1", because they are afraid We film critics will give them unsatisfactory evaluations!"

  Actually, after the cancellation of the premiere of "Home Alone 2" and the cancellation of the screenings for film critics and media reporters, those who rely on pens for a living are already very dissatisfied.

  Because a movie review for a sequel to a hit movie is equivalent to thirteen salaries and a year-end bonus, and for these guys who don’t have a fixed salary, it’s considered good luck to meet once a year.

  According to their assumption, the "Terminator 2" way of buying praises all over the world is what they want to see the most, but what is the result? Fox actually blocked their chance to make money, that—

  We're welcome!

  Since you are blocking our way of making money, even if it is an egg, we have to pick out the bones for you!

  No way, this is the current living environment of film critics!

Before the movie is released, they can talk nonsense, because the box office of the previous film is 500 million, and even if the sequel is diving, it will definitely make a lot of money, so they are not afraid of being slapped in the face after receiving money to write a public relations draft, and they are double-handed. Food, brush fees and manuscript fees can make them earn a lot of money; but after the movie is released, the situation is different. Youdao is the icing on the cake, far from being maverick. Stretch newspapers and publish their film reviews!

   In this way, as soon as the movie was released, they paid out of their own pockets and rushed into the theater.

  After watching the movie, the content full of slots made these guys even more excited!

   Is this a movie?

  A plot full of loopholes!

  Social symptoms that do not match reality!

   A highly corny remake of the plot!

   This is simply sending money to your door!

   Not only that, they also expressed deep emotion.

  Fortunately, Fox has canceled the film review meeting for film critics and media reporters!

   Otherwise, wouldn’t they become accomplices corrupted by money?

  The sudden excitement made these guys crazily rush to draft. Many quick shooters even handed over the palm-sized comments to the editor-in-chief of the long-term cooperation newspaper in just ten minutes.

   On the night of the film's release, when evening newspapers around the world rushed to print, heartbroken film reviews sprung up like mushrooms after a spring rain, spreading to every corner of America.

  If you sum up the words of those guys, you can actually put them into one sentence, that is: ‘The whole movie is devoid of nutrition, the logic of the plot is completely broken, and it completely tramples on humanitarian ideas. Apart from being funny, it has no advantages. '

  In the eyes of these guys, even if their own evaluations can’t give the movie a head-on blow, they still have to make their own contribution to eliminate this kind of garbage movie.

  They won't admit it!

  In their words, this is a powerful counterattack to protect film art from being ruined by capital!

  ...

   "As expected, these guys are still spraying!" Roland put down the newspaper, with a helpless smile on his face.

  In fact, as early as when the script was conceived, he had already expected such a day.

   No way, just make money, as long as you do this kind of thing, don't be afraid of being discovered by others!

   Film critics are not fools!

  Although most of the time, people in the circle hate them very much, but these guys' eyes are not blind!

Although in the three-minute short film celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Cannes Film Festival, Russ Till personally went into battle and directed a good show of "hacking film critics". The film critics around him kept pointing and pointing, and Russ Till, who couldn't stand it, picked up an ax without saying a word, and chopped off the opponent's head!

  When it was screened in Cannes that year, the colleagues on the scene applauded wildly!

but-

  Lars Till's works are rarely sold that way.

Although the famous director Federico Fellini also publicly dissed film critics in his film "Eight and a Half", in the film, the film critic who kept BB beside the director was directly dragged out by Fellini and hanged up! but-

   Federico Fellini's works are rarely sold that way.

  And "Nine", which is closely related to "Eight and a Half", is even more messed up.

  As for the elder brother who made an appointment with a film critic, and directly knocked the film critic K.O.

  I'm sorry this old man is called Uwe Ball, a frequent customer of the golden raspberry.

   Admittedly, no one likes a guy who is lying on his body and sucking blood.

   But the problem is that sometimes, you have to admit that some film critics are quite right without taking money.

   There is only one Pauline Kyle who can forcibly overturn the review results and ask the MPAA to re-classify the movie, but even if it is the only one, it doesn't mean that others have a worse vision than her.

  Besides, if you can't see it when you copy it yourself, then they should stop messing around.

  Roland also understood what these guys like.

   As a matter of fact, if the plot of "Home Alone 2" is modified "slightly".

   Right now, it will never be like this.

  The opening of the movie: Kevin and his parents got separated and entered New York by mistake, but the plane his parents were on crashed, the whole family was killed and became orphans, and Kevin suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.

   In desperation, Kevin was adopted by the owner of the Plaza Hotel in New York, and met a wealthy daughter by chance.

   Accompanied by the rich daughter, although Kevin did not get out of the psychological shadow, he became an animalist protector, and also got acquainted with the black aunt who feeds the pigeons in Central Park every day.

   During the chat, Kevin learned that the other party was also a poor homeless person, and fell in love with the scene.

  At the invitation of the other party, Kevin decided to visit the other party's residence.

While heading to the home of the black aunt, Kevin suddenly discovered that the water robber he encountered before appeared in New York and wanted to rob the toy store. So, the smart and clever Kevin, together with the black aunt, stopped the opponent's evil deeds.

When catching them, Kevin accidentally learned that the two thieves turned out to be LGBT people, or a couple of lovers. Even if one of them escaped, he still wanted to come back to save the other. They are a pair of war refugees, originally from black households, without normal sources of income, and there is a paralyzed sister who believes in Christianity to support, so they took the risk. In front of this touching story, Kevin cried bitterly, Not only did he get out of post-traumatic stress disorder, he was kind-hearted and chose to let the two water pirates go...

The end of the movie: Under the bleak moonlight, the world rang the bell of Christmas Eve. When Kevin watched the pirate's back and gradually disappeared into the dark night, a familiar hand also held him together. …

  If the script is written like this, would film critics dare to complain?

  If they dare to spit out their mouths, let alone their mothers the next day, even eighteen generations of ancestors are gone!

  But, do the audience like this thing?

   Just kidding!

  Although the audience may support it verbally, their bodies will definitely sit at home honestly!

  What’s so good about this movie?

   Only stupid beeps will buy tickets!

   To put it bluntly, film critics are actually more than "the top of the fairy, proud of the world!" There is a day with my keyboard! ’ is so much more annoying than pure trolls! To deal with the guy who sprays for the sake of spraying, trying to bring your IQ to the same level as him, and then defeating you with rich experience, just block the ban, but now? Roland just grabbed them with a fist and stunned them?

   Isn't this a dream!

   But he has no good idea!

  The mouths of film critics can never be blocked, and how many people in this circle have never been sprayed?

  For this kind of thing, regardless of whether it is the Jewish gang or the film company, they can only buy people to fight with them.

   In the end, it is only the market that determines success or failure.

   And the market—

  ...

   "These film critics are out of their minds? This is supposed to be a children's movie!"

"Is there anything wrong with the storyline of "HA2"? Isn't it the same reason why Kevin didn't call the police and the queen asked the magic mirror 'Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?'? Kevin called the police, so where is the movie? If the queen doesn’t ask the magic mirror, then Snow White won’t be targeted! Why don’t they say there’s something wrong with “Snow White”?”

"As for the cruel treatment of thieves? Wow... Are these people stupid? They actually sympathize with two villains? When your life is threatened, when you see two villains that you know to be evil, they will Are they dissatisfied with the misery of the villains? Could it be that they want to see a movie where children surrender with their hands up and let the villains slaughter them? I have to suspect that they are spies sent by the USSR!"

  When Emma put down the newspaper out of breath and sulking with her hands on her hips, Eve, who shared the rent with her, also looked dissatisfied, but she was still rational, "But, my dear, the USSR has disintegrated..."

   "That's Russia!" Emma turned her head sharply, her eyes staring like bells, "Anyway, it can't be one of our own!"

Yes!

  Compared to Roland who accepted the fact, his group of fans has exploded!

  For these sister fans, the accusations and comments in the newspapers are simply unreasonable!

   It's a popcorn movie!

   Not those Olympic films!

   And the root of popcorn movies, isn’t it to tell a story completely and at the same time, make the general public feel happy, feel happy, and feel refreshed? See, a lot of popcorn can't even tell a story!

Take "Ghost Attack" as an example. As a B-grade commercial film, it requires muscles, special effects, beauties, and actions. Every fight is very enjoyable, with jokes and special effects. There are also endless easter eggs, but the chaotic editing and flashbacks of crazy moments make people look confused.

  Normal commercial films are that you can enjoy watching them without your brain; but this commercial film is that if you watch it without your brain, you can't figure out the plot at all, but watch it with your brain? Sorry, I couldn't last half an hour, the flashbacks are so uncomfortable!

   And compared with "Ghost Attack"?

  《HA2》I don't know how many times better!

   Don't look at the simple plot, but it is not that simple for children to understand and enjoy watching!

   This is the same as bringing a baby. It seems easy, but **** and fart can kill you!

  In the eyes of those sister fans, the anger of film critics is all slander!

  My Roland is so cute, how could he be so cruel?

   He's just dealing with the bad guys! He's guarding the toy store that symbolizes children's dreams!

  "HA2" has brought them a lot of laughter, I think it is worth the ticket price and time, what are you guys?

   As for Kevin being more vicious than the first film?

   Although sister fans can’t find fault with this point, after seeing it, father fans and mother fans immediately thought of haha!

  Have you heard of the "quasi-adult period" and "youth rebellious period" in psychology?

  From the age of ten to thirteen, the temper of teenagers is inherently unstable. They will get bored with repeated urging, feel that there are loopholes in the words of adults, and will be disgusted with criticism...

  In this kind of menstrual period that everyone will go through, the twelve-year-old Kevin in the film is like a demon?

  So, film critics, do you have a baby at home?

  If you have a physical reason, then everyone can understand, if you have a baby, then you are messing around!

  These movie reviews were originally written for grown-ups to read, but after the grown-ups saw them, they only had the word silly beep in their heads!

  Furious throughout the story, except for the similarity of the plot, everything else is shit.

Just like what Xu Dafanzi said, even if some parents were not interested in this movie at first, they would watch it with their children and find it funny, but now, the criticism makes them feel that, Isn't this just intentional targeting?

   And who are these film critics targeting?

  Who is the biggest player in the whole movie, who are they targeting!

   Now, it is not the era when the movie just came out, don’t make people think too stupidly!

  As the parents of the children, do they not know that if an adolescent boy really rebelled, it would be scarier than Kevin in the movie? The interpretation in the movie is already over!

   After all, every year in America, there are cases of children stealing guns from players and accidentally dying!

   Then they’re like, ‘I took the kids to see Home Alone 2 for Thanksgiving, did you go? ’; or ‘The little ones in my family love Roland Allen so much that they bought the same down jacket that was sold in the theater, costing me more than two hundred dollars’?

   This is people's pampering and complaining about their own bear children without the media's anger!

   And when I found out that the brain circuits of those high-ranking film critics and I were not on the same channel at all.

  A kind of vindictive psychology produced by wanting to argue, let these parents who thought "Home Alone 2" be ordinary—

   Opened Amway.

  That's right, although they do think that "Home Alone 2" is also suitable for children to watch, but that's just average, and it hasn't fallen into a terrible situation! Normal evaluation, they will feel reasonable, can wanton derogatory? That code would be boring!

  Although your comments are reasonable, we don’t listen to them because they are too extreme!

  Those comments also made the public understand a problem.

  Critics like all good?

   Shit!

  People's eyes all grow on the top of the sky!

  ...

So, just when Roland was expecting that the Jewish gang and Fox could pull people to help him spray back, those sister parties who thought the film critics were too harsh, and those parents who thought the film critics had no children at all , and those children who don't even read movie reviews, took the lead in fighting back...

  Because there was no feedback from film critics before the release, the box office on the first day of Thanksgiving was very stable.

  More than 20 million, within the expected range of everyone.

but-

   After two days, the movie reviews didn't affect people.

   Or in other words, that unbearable curse had the effect of pushing in the opposite direction.

  After all, "HA" and "T2" are there.

  No one believed that Roland would pick up the bad book at the beginning of the epic!

   When the box office of the first weekend was released, "Lethal Weapon 3" also gave up the record for the box office of the first weekend in America in 1992—

  Forty-two million!

  Movie payback in three days!

  Next!

   All net profit!

Note: ① Yuppies, Yuppies, generally speaking, are very wealthy urban professional youths. They are the clothes of the little plum in "The Great Gatsby". It looks like you know you are rich. What is written in the article is not a brand. The brand was born in 1999 It was created just now, talking about style, the dressing style of the materialistic society in the 1980s and 1990s. ② "Pet Sematary", "Pet Cemetery", there is a perverted little boy in it. ③When "HA2" was released, film critics including Roger Ebert and Kenneth Turan were raving about it, but even with their influence, "HA2" was still the second highest box office in North America. The behavior of crazy protection has appeared twice in the history, one is Shirley Temple and the other is Macaulay. This is why Macaulay is firmly seated as the second child star in North American history. In fact, he is short of Oscar. . ④Because the Internet was underdeveloped in 1992, many passers-by did not know what was going on back then, but in 1999, when Fox released the ultimate DVD, people discovered that the film critics of those years were shooting all over the map, using art This is also a very interesting situation. Before 1999, "HA" was the movie that was shown the most on TV stations in various countries, but since 1999, it has become "HA2". "HA2" was rebroadcast, and not only that, but CBC once again cut Chuan Jianguo to make time for commercials.

  (end of this chapter)