Paintings of Terror

Chapter 207: Ke Xun’s Heart-Wrenching Pain

In fact, as long as your willpower was strong enough, no matter how enchanting the illusion was, if you firmly believe that it was only an illusion, you should be able to retreat from it and save your life.

At least Ke Xun thought so.

After the first night, when the illusion nearly succeeded in tricking him, he had spent the following nights with barely any danger.

Their experiences in previous paintings had accumulated into a state where, as Wei Dong had said, the current members of the “Entering the Painting” group had very few ghosts that could scare them and make them panic.

Usually, when they chat on Wechat, they would often mention that Ke Xun had developed the fastest. He had grown from that poor and messy youth of his first painting to the mature, calm, reliable person that he was now, even taking on the role of the team’s protector.

Wei Dong, who was most familiar with him, said that he had become more and more indestructible, whether it was in spirit and belief, or thoughts and emotion.

Ke Xun himself had thought so too.

This recognition lasted until darkness fell.

Ke Xun and Mu Yiran sat in the corner of the central hall. The moment the darkness invaded, Mu Yiran’s hand disappeared from his grasp.

It was still the same deep, empty darkness, and only the sound of the viscous sea water could be heard.

He waited quietly for the illusion to appear, trying to guess what kind of plot the despicable thing behind the scene would make up to confuse him.

The surging sound of the sea gradually became clearer, as if it was directly in front of him, right at his feet. The sense of quiet gradually disappeared. The sea in front of him seemed to have a shore, and there seemed to be trees on that shore. There were even the sounds of cars whizzing past.

A biting cold suddenly swept over him, surrounding him in all directions. In an instant, the temperature seemed to have dropped below zero, causing Ke Xun’s skin to rise in goosebumps.

The peculiar breath of midwinter came to his nose, the wind sharp and stinging, scraping at his inside, and letting the chill penetrate his heart from the inside out.

He shivered slightly from the cold and suddenly shrank into himself.

This was a winter scene.

Although there was still a thick darkness in front of him, without any images, he could feel that it was winter. The weather was very cold, possibly the coldest he had ever experienced.

The water in front of him made a gurgling sound, like ripples hardened by the cold that were constantly colliding into each other.

And within the sound of the gurgling water, there was also the sound of ice crashing. The smashed ice fragments flew away, making the invisible scene more textured.

Ke Xun opened his eyes wide and looked into the emptiness in front of him.

In the darkness, his body trembled slightly.

“Xiao Xun.”

It was an incomparably familiar voice, as if he’d just heard it yesterday. It was so close.

His heart shunk sharply, and his body began to visibly shake. It was unknown whether this was due to the cold or something else altogether.

“Xiao Xun…Xiao Xun, are you doing okay by yourself?”

Ke Xun opened his mouth and tried to say something, but nothing came out. He only felt a torn, dry pain in his throat.

“Xiao Xun…Son, do you miss dad?” asked that extremely familiar voice.

“…Fuck…Fuck!——Fuck!” After several tries, Ke Xun was finally able to let out these hoarse, crackling sounds from within his dry throat.

That disgusting thing behind the scenes had created the illusion of a dead person, unafraid of completely being seen through by him. Was this still even an attempt at bewitching him? No, this wasn’t bewitchment. This was rampant, malicious provocation!

It was a stark declaration. As if saying, even if you knew that this was only an illusion, you still couldn’t escape. You would still die in this illusion! Because this was an obsession you could never let go of, a scar that could never heal, a painful nightmare you could never be rid of!

Ke Xun had never been so angry before in his life. But this anger was not like a raging fire. It was like a boundless ocean that swallowed him completely, and the weight of it was suffocating.

Under this suffocating ocean of anger, there was an endless sorrow, the sting of which had accumulated into a deep, hidden well.

During the darkest and most depressing period of Ke Xun’s life, he always wanted to look at his dearest people even more. Even if it was just a glance, no, even if he could only hear their voice. Just one sentence. One word. One sound. One light cough…

God knew how much he wanted these.

And now, in front of him, was the one thing he was most eager for, but that had been unachievable. Suddenly, this “truth”, even if it was just an illusion, this endless longing hidden deep within his heart, suppressed and contained, came gushing out frantically, spewing like volcanic lava.

The raging waves on the sea, the black abyss underneath, the volcano at the bottom of the seabed.

Anger, sadness, longing.

These suppressed him layer by layer, making him unable to move.

“Xiao Xun…Do you miss dad? Dad misses you very much. I’ve been so worried about you. I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to take good care of yourself, whether you could eat or dress well all alone.”

“Go away, go away!” Ke Xun screamed. “I’ll fucking kill you! I’ll kill you!”

“Xiao Xun, don’t you want to talk to dad? This may be…the last time we…can have the chance to talk…Xiao Xun, don’t you…don’t you want to listen to my voice?”

“Fuck…” Ke Xun grabbed his hair fiercely with both hands and buried his face between his arms.

He wanted to hear, he wanted to hear. Even though it was just an illusion, he still wanted to hear the voice he wanted to hear most.

He missed this voice so much that every time he remembered it, his heart ached. This pain had not diminished with the passage of time, and the death of his loved one was like a wound that could never heal.

“Xiao Xun…Dad is sorry for leaving you all alone in this world. It’s my fault for leaving you. I’m not a qualified father. I hope…I hope you will have a better father, one that will take care of you for me, and protect you forever…”

“No…” Ke Xun opened his palms, covered his eyes, and squeezed out a low and miserable voice from under his palms.

Illusion, this was just an illusion. It was fake, of course it was fake… But he still wanted to continue to listen to his “dad” talk to him, even if every sentence and every word he said made him feel more disheartened, more pained.

“Xiao Xun…I’m sorry that I can’t accompany you as you grow up, and that I can no longer watch as you grow from a handsome youth into an indomitable, mature, and responsible man. I regret that I can’t watch you as you start your career. And I can’t watch you find someone you like, marry her, start a family, and have a child who is as cute as you were when you were a kid…I can no longer protect you, can no longer accompany you through most of your life…Xiao Xun…I’m so sorry, I made you suffer…”

“No…no…” Ke Xun murmured, choking in his desperately suppressed voice.

“Xiao Xun, do you miss dad?”

Of course. How could he not? He missed him when he was eating and all that accompanied him was an empty table, when he stood in front of the window at night and looked out at the city from the floor-to-ceiling window, when he fell asleep at night, when he opened his eyes in the morning. He missed him when it rained, when it snowed, when he was walking down the street. He missed the father he could no longer see.

“Xiao Xun, do you miss dad?… Son, when I was alive, what I loved hearing the most was hearing you call me dad…Do you love me?…Xiao Xun, do you want me? Do you miss me?”

Ke Xun covered his eyes, making a thick nasal sound that mixed with his heavy breathing.

He panted for a long time, and the voice made by the illusion stopped talking, as if quietly waiting for him.

Until he finally squeezed out from his throat a choked word, “….Missed…”

Suddenly, a biting cold wind rushed toward his face, almost piercing the skin. The north wind sounded in the darkness, and followed it came the sound of the rushing river not far from him. There was a sudden blast of startled screaming, “Someone had fallen into the water. Come! Help! Someone has fallen into the water!”

“–I’ll save him!” A familiar voice shouted in front of him, followed by the sound of footsteps rushing into the distance.

Ke Xun’s body froze suddenly, and then began to tremble uncontrollably.

There was the crash of someone jumping into the water, struggling to swim. These sounds mixed into the sound of the rushing water and the crashing ice shards on the water surface, sandwiching the scream of the bystanders. Every sound reached Ke Xun’s so clearly, even the heavy breathing of that most familiar voice.

“Someone jumped in–”

“He’s swimming toward the drowning man!”

“He caught the drowning man! He caught the drowning man!”

“No way! His clothes were too heavy! He didn’t even take off his jacket when he jumped into the water. The river’s too cold–He’s starting to struggle!”

“He’s almost there. Almost to shore. Work hard!”

“Oh no! No–He’s out of strength–He’s starting to sink–”

“He’s sinking! He’s sinking!”

“The drowning person was saved!”

“But the rescuer couldn’t hold on! He couldn’t hold on…The rescuer…The rescuer is dead…”

Ke Xun was fighting in the cold, his entire body shaking, choking sounds coming out of his throat.

A feeling of sinking into deep water flooded him from all directions. He felt the chill to his bones, and water suffocated him, soaking into his pores and his internal organs.

Ke Xun gasped subconsciously, and in the gurgling underwater, he suddenly heard the familiar voice again, “Xiao Xun…I’m in so much pain…Can you feel it, Xiao Xun? I’m in the water, and it’s cold…It’s cold…”

“—Shut up!—Shut up!” Ke Xun tried to shout over that voice, but to no avail. That voice seemed to be out of track with his own voice, and it passed into his ears, undisturbed.

He slammed his hands over his ears, but the sound penetrated his hands and pierced his ears. He was helpless to do anything. Everything was just an illusion, and he could endure the sound and the physical torture. He could endure it. But the most painful thing, the one thing he could not bear, was the heart-wrenching pain it wrought.