Possessing Nothing

Inside the open door stood a small-sized boy. No. Actually, Lee Sungmin couldn’t tell if he was a boy or a girl. He looked like a man in a way, and in a way also looked like a woman.

Lee Sungmin looked at that figure for a moment and stuttered.

“…Denir?”

“That’s right.”

Denir nodded. Just as his ambiguous appearance did not reveal his gender, neither did his voice. Just like Mush, Denir was also a child. Lee Sungmin did not understand why the ‘gods’ took on such an immature form, but that was not the important question here.

“Bloody hell Mush! Why did you leave this troublesome guy to me?”

Denir mumbled and turned to himself. When Lee Sungmin stared at his back, he exhaled greatly and looked back at him.

“Are you trying to be satisfied just by looking at my face?”

“… What?”

“If you’re satisfied with that, it’s good for me.”

There’s no way that could be true. Lee Sungmin hurriedly caught up behind Denir. As he entered through the door and waited, the door closed. Denir walked down the hallway. The corridor of the small country house was not very long, so they reached a spacious living room after a short walk. Lee Sungmin looked at Denir’s back. The short bobbed hair that swished around his head looked like it could belong to either a girl or a boy. While he was having a strange feeling of discomfort, Denir turned. He went to the nearby sofa and sat down.

“What do you want from me?”

Asked Denir. It was a sudden question, and Lee Sungmin, who could not prepare for an answer immediately, hesitated. Denir said to Lee Sungmin again.

“I don’t think you’re here for a greeting. What do you expect from me here?”

“Hearing those words so suddenly, I don’t know what to say… ”

“Hmm. I guess so. Then I’ll change the question. What do you want?”

The designation changed. Instead of Lee Sungmin’s expectations from Denir, to Lee Sungmin’s wish. However, he could not give a proper answer to that question either. Seeing his silence, Denir let out a chuckle.

“You are indecisive. Or is that there are too many thoughts? Well, good. Gods should be merciful. Let’s talk a little more comfortably.”

Denir said so and crossed his legs.

Even if we want to have a conversation, this is the first time we have met and what can I talk to a God about?

Lee Sungmin, who had been silent for a while, opened his mouth.

“Are you a man or a woman?”

It wasn’t a serious question. It was just a joke thrown to break this awkward mood. Denir laughed at the question.

“You care about the strangest things. Well, Humans are like that … Gender doesn’t exist for us. It’s just a matter of taste. Mush’s appearance as a woman is only her nasty taste. A god in charge of trials and suffering in the shape of a young girl. Don’t you think it’s nasty?”

He had never thought of it from that point of view, but it made sense. Denir continued to speak to Lee Sungmin, who nodded his head blankly.

“I am the same. There’s no gender in the way I’m perceived. If you want to consider me a man, consider me as a man, if you want me to be a woman, consider me as a woman. ”

“… Is it also your choice to take on the form of a child? ”

“No. This was not my personal decision, but it can’t be helped. ”

Denir muttered those words and pulled out a cigar. Lee Sungmin was filled with discomfort, looking at a young child with a neutral figure biting into a cigar that was much thicker than his finger.

“You’ve been defying time.”

Denir murmured. Lee Sungmin flinched when he heard that. But he was not surprised. It was only natural for a god like Denir to notice that Lee Sungmin’s predetermined fate was distorted. It is unlikely that Denir wouldn’t see something that Mush had noticed.

“Your predetermined fate was twisted. Well, it’s not that there’s not much of a twist in the fates usually. But your case is unique. It was against time. You came back from the dead… Hu hu! Very interesting.”

Denir flailed his legs, laughing. Lee Sungmin looked at Denir, who seemed to find it all quite hilarious, and opened his mouth to ask.

“I am being protected by an unknown being. I erased some of it, but not all of it.”

“I know. The protection of a being who cares about you is something the mortals cannot dare to touch. You erased some protection? Hu hu. That mark can be partially hidden but never fully erased. But it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things.”

Denir replied with a laugh. Lee Sungmin leaned forward.

“Can you elaborate on that?”

“Your existence is foreign.”

Denir said so.

“You, who have returned from death, have memories from before you died. Without you, this world would flow as you remember. Of course, that’s how it should be. But the existence of ‘you’ itself has become a variable.”

“… What… do you mean?”

“Did you live the same life as before?”

Asked Denir.

“You’ve lived without any difference? Can you say that you’ve lived every minute with no difference from the days of your previous life? Sleeping, eating, drinking, fighting, talking, meeting people exactly like you did in your previous life. Did you do that? ”

“That… there’s no way that’s possible. How can that be?”

“That’s right. So your existence has become a variable. Because you have spent your days differently from your previous life, your existence has become a variable in the flow of this world.”

“I am not that great.”

“Even a tiny butterfly’s wings are enough to cause a huge whirlwind at a distance. Actually, the world of today must be different from what you know. Isn’t it?”

Lee Sungmin’s face hardened at those words. He had a point.

Lloyd, The Golden Archmage, went missing, according to Lee Sungmin’s previous memories.

However, since Lee Sungmin was in the dungeon, Lloyd was now alive and did not go missing.

Rumors about Minor Heavenly Demon, Wijihoyeon, were also different. She was now known as a woman rather than a man.

Except for the two, which were the most significant differences, dozens and hundreds of things came to his mind. Did he spend his days just like in his previous life? It couldn’t be. He couldn’t even remember every day of his previous life.

Impossible. Even if he remembered the days of his previous life clearly, he wouldn’t be able to live like that. The Lee Sungmin of the present was different from the Lee Sungmin of his previous life. He learned different martial arts, lived a different life, and encountered different people.

“You are a variable, and you are changing the world with the memories of your previous life. What do you think it means? ”

“… I don’t know …”

“Your existence itself is messing with the flow of this world? The whirlpool is getting bigger.”

Denir laughed, revealing his teeth.

“I am the God of Time. Time is a flowing river. Your existence is making this world a new world by not letting it flow in the direction it should flow. Are you curious about the existence that protects you? How can I answer you? No one in the world can tell you about it. Especially us. We can never talk about it, since we are ‘God’.”

“Why… ?”

“It’s because it’s the ‘apocalypse’ that must be kept quiet. The moment we mention it, we must be prepared for extinction. If you are a god who has their holy place and believers like Mush, you can stand against the apostle. I have neither believers nor a shrine.”

Apocalypse. The Apostle of Apocalypse. The moment he heard that Lee Sungmin felt a chill. It was a sensation that he had felt before. When he heard Mush’s words. And also when he heard a story from Kim Jonghyun. He had felt this chill.

“Haha… Look. Despite the casual mention, the apostle’s spirit is approaching. I have no intention of speaking on this topic any further, so please step back.”

Denir said with a cheerful expression. The coldness grew further from those words. Lee Sungmin stroked his neck, breaking into cold sweat.

“Bah, what the hell was that just now?”

“The apostle was just about to come. I can’t tell you any more. Still… You seem to be a good conversational partner.”

Denir said and raised his body.

“I can’t answer your question. Not all gods can answer your question. Even existences like us are helpless in the face of the apocalypse, and cannot escape the inevitable.”

“Then who can answer it?”

“Find a being that is free from the inevitable end.”

“You have to tell me who it is or how will I know… !”

“Envirus.”

Lee Sungmin’s low cry was answered by Denir with an apathetic face.

“Since he’s a wanderer, I don’t know where he is now. That guy can answer your questions. He is also a case of distorted fate, although in a different sense than you.”

Envirus, Envirus … Lee Sungmin tried to recall the name in his head. When he went through the memories of his previous life, he didn’t know of an existence named Envirus.

“So. Now let’s listen to the story. What do you want to ask me? Why did Mush send you here?”

“… I… I do not know. Mush said there was a good reason for returning to the past by defying death. And she asked me to be prepared for that reason.”

“Yes. Right. That’s why that damned Mush sent you to me.”

Denir said this and looked at Lee Sungmin. He watched Lee Sungmin for a moment and shook his head.

“However, no.”

“… What?”

“I said no. I cannot give you my ‘trial’.”

“Wait a moment… What do you mean by ‘Trial’? What does that mean? Are you saying that you can give me a trial?”

“I can give it. But you won’t be able to handle it. It will drive you crazy… Crazy enough to die. This is my advice for you, so keep that in mind.”

“I also endured the ordeal on Mush’s mountain. I’m familiar with the pain …”

“It is not the pain that you know of. Mush’s penance, trials, and taboos are very gentle. Even though Mush herself is the god of trial and suffering, after all, the penalties you take are of your choice, and you may give up halfway.”

Denir said so and laughed.

“But my trials are different. In my trial, unlike Mush’s, there is no guarantee that you will get anything. It’s just up to you. Still, it’s terribly painful and boring. Ten people have met me to receive my trials. And only three of them got something through them.”

“… and the rest of them?”

“Everyone else died. Ah. The trials did not kill them. They just gave up on themselves and committed suicide. None of the ten who challenged my trial was worse than you. Everyone had brilliant talent, passion, hard work, strength and determination. But among them, only three have been able to overcome the trials.”

Denir said and raised his body.

“First, try to cool off a bit. If you come and ask for trial after this… Then okay. If you want to commit suicide, that is. Then it’s not that you won’t be able to suffer.”

“Cool off a bit…”

“I mean to get some sleep.”

Denir grumbled with a frown.

“Ah. But, not here. This is my home.”

He meant to get out of his house.