Pseudo Resident's Illegal Stay in Another World

༺ Hassan the Iron Rank Adventurer (4) ༻

“The goblins are coming this way?! What do we do, brother-!”

Goblins.

According to the legends of this world, humans were sculpted by the gods using clay. After being done with the creation of humans, they brushed their hands and some clay fell to the ground.

That fallen clay that remained on the ground blended with all sorts of evil and gave birth to many demonic monsters and beasts. However, if I had to choose the ugliest demonic monster, it’s got to be the goblins.

I don’t know if the story was true, nor does it really matter right now.

I did agree with the fact that the goblins looked hideous.

Their skin was green and wrinkled. Their muscles were surprisingly flexible and strong for a creature with the build of a child.

What made them harder to deal with was that they were extremely aggressive and ferocious against humans and any living being in general.

“Kyaa-!”

We were ambushed by 13 goblins. Luna was particularly scared and screamed her lungs out while stomping her feet on the ground as if she was going to faint at any moment.

“Kyaah-! Goblins! This is bad!”

All of the goblin’s eyes were drawn to her. Her screams drew their aggro.

Even though goblins were ruthless monsters with an albeit low intelligence, they were still wise enough to use siege and annihilation techniques.

They instinctively knew that they had to aim for the weakest link to destroy our group. Luna was, in more ways than one, the weak link currently.

“Why, why are they coming this way? Kyaaah!”

Luna started cowering back and ended up falling on her ass. Taking advantage of that opportunity, the goblins rushed to her and began madly scratching her mask, clothes, and flesh.

“Argh!!”

With that scream, a bloody battle broke out in the ruined temple, lit up by the moonlight.

“Th-These bastards!”

Even though they had the body of a child, I could clearly feel murderous intent from them. These bastards are looking down on me.

“Die!”

I pulled a dagger from my waist and thrust it into the neck of a goblin that was coming my way.

I could feel the dagger piercing through the goblin’s neck very vividly.

The smell of the blood spraying everywhere made me dizzy, but I didn’t have the luxury to take some time and regain my composure. I drew my dagger out and kicked the goblin’s body.

“Bastards, I’m gonna kill all of you!”

Perhaps because of the smell of the blood and the adrenaline rush due to the fight, my head was burning, and I began getting enthralled by that feeling. There was nothing better than violence to release the resentment I had accumulated throughout my life because of this world’s absurdity.

Above all, goblins weren’t very strong creatures. I was more than enough to deal with two or three of them at the same time.

By this world’s standard, an average person should be able to handle two to three goblins with bare hands by himself. In other words, they were just pushovers.

Therefore, beating 10 of them wouldn’t be difficult if I and my party members cooperated…

“My, my amulet mask! Give it back! Whoa, someone help!!”

“My instrument is going to break! It’s the foundation of my business! Oh Lord Mercury, what’s going on? Gah- Gwak!”

“Ah, I can’t do it! Why are these punks here? I miss you, Titans!”

Fuck. Besides me, everyone was struggling as if they were drowning at sea while having two or three goblins stuck to their bodies.

Their clothes were torn off, clumps of hair were missing, and they had scrapes all over their body while they were screaming.

And it made the goblins attack even more madly, increasing the number of wounds we received. These fucking bastards are going to be the death of me!

“Look here, punk!”

I channeled all my anger in my fist and slammed a goblin near me. The goblin flew in the air for a brief moment then collapsed.

The goblins, after confirming their companion’s injury, pounced on me even more savagely.

I can’t understand the language of goblins but I felt like they were mocking me, saying things like “What a big fellow!” or “So much food!”.

Do I have to be underestimated by even these midget bastards? Unacceptable. You’re still not strong enough to make dinner out of me.

“You guys aren’t good enough!”

I resentfully gripped my short dagger.

The heartless blade started cutting through the goblins’ skin, continuously splattering their blood and a foul stench engulfed the surrounding area.

I stomped on the fallen, struggling goblin’s throat and shattered it, I opened my mouth and shouted loudly.

“YOU GUYS AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH!!!”

The goblins’ attacks began to weaken, perhaps intimidated by my roar. It was too late to ask for forgiveness now that it has come to this.

I swear on my father’s name, who is relaxing on the electric heating mat back home, that I won’t spare the lives of any of you filthy demon bastards!

Because each of the goblin’s fangs is sold at one copper!

There are about ten goblins!

Fangs are in total four including the bottom and upper teeth!

Hell yeah, 40 coppers, I’m stacked!

Sensing my menacing intent the goblins stopped attacking my companions and focused their attention on me.

“They’re surrounding us! Damn it, these punks!”

Chaos spread around me. I just started floundering my arms around wildly and began stomping and kicking with my foot. I don’t know if anything I ended up hitting was a goblin or not.

Still, there are limits.

“Argh, fuck! It hurts! Ah, they’re ripping my clothes.”

Even if they had the size of a child, their cooperation dealt a lot of damage. They were ripping my hair and poking at my eyes. Ah- don’t touch me there!

“I’ll help you, Hassan! Guys, let’s go!”

I was struggling, and the pain was invading my body. I heard a high-pitched noise from somewhere, then a buzzing akin to the propelling of a helicopter.

In this world where not even wagons existed, it was hard to believe something like a helicopter was making this sound.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that it was none other than the noise of the wasps that Luna had kept in her jar.

“Oh, it hurts! Ouch! It stings, bitches!”

“Ha-Hassan!”

****

“I’m sorry, Hassan. I couldn’t help it, the bees don’t know who’s on our side. But thanks to that the goblin ran away.”

“…”

“….”

“Alright, I’ll be quiet. You were stung by the bees but it didn’t swell that much. I don’t think you need an antidote. Is it a characteristic of Samaritans?”

“Uh, Uuuh-”

In front of the burning campfire, I was so busy trying to pluck the stingers stuck all over my body.

In addition to the poisonous stings, I was also injured by the goblin’s fingernails and tree branches.

What made me the saddest was that my clothes were ruined.

There was a limit to keep relying on rags. So, when I was a slave I saved up to 3 silver coins and bought these clothes.

I endured Elfriede’s whipping and thought these clothes would now last at least a few more years, but they got ripped apart just like this.

“Brother, here are the twenty fangs of the five goblins you killed. You fought so bravely. You slaughtered those little goblins so mercilessly, like the savage giant Cyclops. The one-eyed giants-.”

Strum- and the bard Marco started playing music. I didn’t have the strength to scold him anymore so I just remained silent.

If something happens from now I’ll just run away. I don’t see a good ending for myself by staying with these guys.

“I don’t know why there were goblins here. Although they’re stupid, they don’t come anywhere near human settlements. This is the first time I witnessed this in seven decades of life.”

From the singing bard to the questioning philosopher, the aftermath of this battle was nothing like I imagined it would be.

I was checking for scrapes and lost items when someone said.

“After moving a lot and singing my body is screaming for food. Why don’t we share the food we brought with us? I brought something in case the work took longer than expected.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’d be great! I have mushrooms and other stuff. I also have a pot and some water.”

They suddenly started taking out food from their bags, one by one. I didn’t bring anything since this was supposed to only take half a day.

“…Ha-Hassan you get some rest. We’ll prepare the meal ourselves. Don’t look at this, it’s kind of scary.”

“The savage young man had a hard time. We should exempt him from the night watch. You guys also agree, right?”

“Yes.”

“This Marco has no objection.”

They’re exempting me from the night watch? That’s a fucking relief. I can sleep in peace now.

After taking the last stinger embedded in my body out, I laid down on my back near the campfire.

Trees were swaying in the wind. The sky and stars behind them painted a beautiful scene.

This night sky was no different than the one back in my world, except for the fact that the stars were a little brighter and the presence of two moons instead of one.

I felt weary from the sizzling of the pot and the throbbing and stinging pain in my body.

What am I doing in this place? I miss my mom. I even want to see my father and sister, who I disliked so much.

“Sister, it has been two songs so we can eat one. My singing is very accurate and it should be perfectly cooked.”

“Yeah, I think so too. Hassan come and have a late-night snack! Why don’t you have a drink gramps?”

“I’m fine. Young people should eat more. I’m writing a paper on the consequences of eating at night. I’m in the experimentation phase right now. I also want to think about the goblin attack.”

Plato, the old philosopher, took out a small scroll and started writing on it with a quill. We put back his share into the pot without further ado.

I also got up and peered into the crumpled and dented pot. I could see all sorts of herbs and mushrooms boiling inside it.

I frowned.

“There’s something strange in between the herbs and the mushrooms.”

“Ah, you noticed, Hassan! It’s an ‘Oil Toad’. It’s a valuable medicine that’s good for health. Especially if you’re wounded…”

A hot pot with a toad in it, it’s likely to cause acidity if you eat it.

However, I have become accustomed to hunger while I was struggling to survive as a slave, and my innate repulsion has already worn out due to my father’s extreme educational policy.

“Sister from outlands, no matter how I see it, the toad–”

“It’s delicious. It’s good for healing minor wounds! It’s a popular ingredient in the Ideope! I couldn’t eat oil toads because they are rare.”

“Well then let me try. Ughhhh…. It feels like the toad is… Alive and swimming inside my mouth.”

“Delicious, right? I’ll try it as well.”

Luna took off the ridiculous mask on her face. She could actually take it off.

I came to believe it was her real head at some point.

Her pink hair was exposed after she took off her mask. Her bangs also looked a little damp from sweating while her back was neatly tied in pigtails.

“Eh?”

Emerald-colored eyes met mine. It was so cute that I forgot the pain for a moment and swallowed my breath.

It was said that beautiful women rob men of their five senses, and that’s why they tended to do silly things for them.

I laughed at Elfriede’s followers for following her every whim like fools.

But now that the Curse of Medusa has been lifted, a beautiful woman was a fatal stimulus to me, so I could understand their feelings somehow.

“Wow! Sister, you’re much younger than I thought, how old are you?”

“I was recently done with my coming of age. In Ideope you have to be an adult before going abroad.”

“So, you mean that you weren’t even an adult not too long ago? Do all girls wear such promiscuous clothes in Ideope? I definitely want to go there someday!”

“What do you mean promiscuous?! These are traditional shaman robes. B-By the way, how old are you, big nose?”

“My name is not big nose, it’s Marco. You’d better remember it in advance because I’ll soon become famous. I have also turned twenty-six this year.”

“What? I thought you were at least thirty!”

“That’s rude! Brother, do you think I look over thirty?”

Marco’s big face crept toward me and formed a shadow. I almost punched him thinking he was a goblin.

“Oh, yeah, well, roughly. Thirty-five I guess?”

“I’m shocked that you thought so!”

From his shaggy beard to his rough skin, I thought he’d be thirty-five at least, but I didn’t expect him to be the same age as me. Now, that’s shocking.

Are the faces of people in this world not in accordance with their ages? Elfriede, Finley, and now even this guy.

“How old are you brother?”

“I’m twenty-six as well.”

“Gosh, that’s amazing! I thought you were older than me. Let’s be friends since we are the same age. Fret not, you deserve it, brother.”

What kind of similar-aged friend are you? You obviously look older than me.

I never thought I was older than Marco.

Well, my appearance wasn’t exactly in order currently. My hair was shabby and scruffy like lacquer was applied, and my beard also wasn’t trimmed in addition to some scars on my rough skin.

It must appear even more disheveled with all the goblin blood on it.

When I go back to the city, my first priority should be a bathhouse to tidy up my appearance. I think I noticed one on my way to the west gate.

“I killed goblins, caught wheel bees, and made a pretty good additional income. I think I deserve to get a bath, a little haircut, and some shaving. This little bit of luxury should be fine, right?”

Above all, maintaining a degree of cleanliness was very important to stay healthy.

…….

And thus the night passed as indulged oursevles in banter and songs. Soon the sun rose and it was time to clean the shrine as we were supposed to.

We started by cleaning the traces of our campfire, then the scattered corpses of the goblins, and just as we started removing vines entangled with the surrounding statues, we noticed something strange.

“Brother, look at this. There’s a strange item inside the broken statue.”

“No, you bastard! You mustn’t touch it.”