Pseudo Resident’s Illegal Stay in Another World

༺ Lions Are Prideful (1) ༻

It was said that people, when faced with extreme situations, often used wits and means previously unknown to them. They would accomplish wonders they previously thought impossible.

I was able to think about multiple things, drawing up multiple scenarios to get out of this perilous circumstance, while blocking the claw that swung like a cleaver, and it was also the first time my mind had been showing such amazing capabilities.

Ding-

Red spots appeared on the beast’s body with the usual sound and letters that accompanied said sound. I never thought that I’d ever see acupoints on a beast’s body. It was surreal.

It reminds me of the time when my father used to practice acupuncture on the chicken he raised.

Damn it, it seems the weird practices that he was doing were actually legit. I thought it was plain bullshit!

Kareureuk.

“Ugh-“

Anyway, there was an issue that was more pressing to think about right now. It was obvious to me as to how to escape the attacks of this beast’s foreclaw.

As it was a huge beast, the strength of its front paws was beyond my imagination. No, I was even scared to imagine it. It reminds me of Elfriede’s overwhelming physical strength. The only result of me being hit by its attacks is ending up as a flattened sandwich, ready to be eaten as the lion-cat’s snack!

“Oi, oi, hurry up and do your thing, Luna!”

“Wait a little bit more! It’s so hard to light it up! Is it because I’m wet?”

“Ugh, damn it, fucking groundwater!”

“Wait, brother! I’ll cheer you up with some battle chants!”

Tak- Tak- Tak- Taktak-

Marco began playing his instrument in a battle chant. I still didn’t know whether to call that instrument of his castanets or cashew nuts. It was just too bizarre.

Tak- Tak – Tatak-

Tak-

Fucking bastard!! We’re probably gonna end up in this lion-cat’s stomach and the best idea you can come up with is to play that god-damned instrument? I’m gonna go fucking mad because of this damned musician!

Kareureuk!

It seems that the lion-cat was also angry at Marco’s heartless acts — leaving me, his friend and party member, to fend off the lion-cat by myself while he played around with his absurd-looking instrument. So angry the beast was, at him, that…it actually ignored me completely and ran in anger toward Marco, smashing his torso with its front paws.

“W-what, why, why did it come my way! L-Lord Mercuryyy!”

Kak!

The lion-cat kept punching Marco, with its big cat paws, as if enjoying his reactions to its assault.

Puk- Puk- Pukpuk- Puk-

Although it looked like the soft paws of a cat, when it was used to punch at someone, it looked quite a bit scary because of the weight and force behind it, which made it quite lethal. I’m so glad I’m not in his place.

“Gaeg, Gag, Hikhik, Hak!”

Marco made a funny noise with each hit from the gigantic cat. Because he couldn’t handle the pain, he ended up becoming a musical instrument himself. Truly, he was a model figure for all street musicians.

“Damn it, bastard. I’ll never forget you, even after you die! Your sacrifice won’t be in vain.”

“I-I’m not dead yet, please save me… Don’t write me off as dead already, brother!”

“I-I’m done! I-I lit it on fire! Smoke… smoke is gushing out!”

I heard Luna’s joyful voice from behind me. Smoke began spreading everywhere at the same time Luna spoke out her words of joy.

A peculiar yet indescribable stench began spreading around with the advent of the dark-gray smoke.

Keureureu- Keureureu-

The body of the pristine-white lion-cat, who had been busy bullying Marco until now, twitched violently, its body turning towards Luna and me with an abrupt and hasty jerk.

“Oi, oi, this should work right?”

“Cats become crazy when they smell it. It also weakens their senses, enervating them and making them fall asleep if inhaled long enough. D-Don’t worry, the beast will go down in no time.”

I wonder if trusting Luna was a good thing? I couldn’t decide if it was or not, no matter how many times I thought it through, in that split second.

What I could see in front of me right now was a lion-cat with teeth, that matched the ones of the ancient predators called Sabertooths, hanging from its mouth and saliva dripping through them, dropping on the groundwater in sticky droplets.

Most noticeably, the eyes of the beast were red and bloodshot, like a savage and heartless entity out for blood and gore.

“T-That’s strange, why isn’t it collapsing yet? Maybe the effect was halved because it’s too big?”

“Fucking… Damn it!!!”

Geuaag!

The white lion-cat soon angrily roared at us with its mouth wide open. The power and intimidation behind that roar were so great that Luna fell with an “Heuu-” sound right into the ground, landing on her buttocks, and began sinking into the reeking groundwater.

It didn’t seem weird to me that her feet loosened from the fear of the great roar of the lion-cat. Had I not been used to Elfriede’s overbearing intimidation, I would have probably wet my pants. Even if that were not to be the case, I was sure, at least, that I would’ve probably been in a worse condition right now than the scaredy-cat Luna.

Ah, damn it. I had to suffer for two years under that vicious, psychotic girl, and now, that I finally freed myself from her wretched clutches, I was gonna end up as animal food in this smelly and damp underground waterway?

I’m unwilling.

“Bring it on, you damn animal bastard!”

Kareurek!

Both me and the savage lion-cat jumped up at the same time, our bodies overlapping as both of us engaged in a contest of strength. It seemed to be trying to knock me down by squeezing on my shoulders with both of its front paws.

“Oi, Luna! It seems to be working!”

Compared to before, its strength and vigor were significantly reduced, so it was relatively easier to fight it now. Alright, this hopeless endeavor now just became worth a try at least.

So, I clenched my fists, I clenched them as hard as I possibly could, using all of the strength in my body, and aimed directly at one of the exposed red spots on the savage beast’s stomach.

Puk-

Kareureuk-

It looks like the effect of the punch on the white beast was quite good, the lion-cat’s body shook greatly after getting a taste of my fists.

I followed up on the created momentum and rapidly began hitting any red spots I could see on its stomach.

Takakakakakakaka-

“Die, bastard!”

Kagaeck!

However, contrary to what the painful cries of the lion-cat might make one think, it showed no signs of falling down at all, stubbornly standing still on its spot.

Maybe its thick leather-like fur made it impervious to human fists. Anyway, my hands were hurting so bad that I was more likely to go down before the beast would.

Kareureureuk!

I, inevitably, was the one to lose strength first, and the lion-cat pressed on my shoulder as soon as it noticed my exhaustion. I had no choice but to fall backwards under the might of its strong paws.

Kareureu…

But against my expectations, the lion-cat didn’t attack or bite me at all, it just blankly looked down at me with an unfocused gaze. Maybe it was deciding from where to take a bite of its food, which is me of course, first?

Kareureu-

The lion-cat seemed to have made up its mind as it shove its head right into the nape of my neck. I had no way to stop this animal that weighed hundreds of pounds from pressing down on my poor body.

“I’ll be eaten alive! Damn it, help me, you guys!

“Hassan! Hold your breath!”

Clink-

Soon a terrible smell began spreading along with the sounds of shattering glass. It was simply indescribable. It stank like the hottest and smelliest pits of hell. I was almost doubting that even hell might not be cruel enough to inflict its sinners with such an unbearable smell. The effluvium was simply that bad.

“Gasp, sister, what kind of smell is this? I’m unable to breathe!”

“Paralytic Toad Oil! Each bottle costs 1 silver… Anyway, are you all alright, Hassan?”

Luna checked in on me. I was mostly fine, aside from the smell that made my nose crook and nearly fall off from its place, that is. Seeing this lion-cat bastard suffer filled me with energy and unprecedented vigor.

Kareureureuk!

“Damn, this shit stinks so fucking bad!”

I noticed that the lion-cat flinched for a moment, and I took advantage of that small opportunity by tying my arms around its neck, like a tight noose, as hard as I possibly could.

Akekek, kaek, kaek

“Take this sleeper hold, bastard!”

Kaek, kaekaek

The lion-cat struggled in distress as if it was in great agony.

“Bastards, don’t just gawk from there, help me beat it up, already!”

“I-I’ll help you, Hassan!”

“I am here too, brother!”

Only then did Luna and Marco come to their senses and press on the lion-cat’s body as hard as they could.

Although they repeatedly got repelled by the beast’s frantic struggles, they didn’t give up. Did these guys actually have some guts in them? I can’t fall behind then.

“Damn iiiiiiiit!!!!!”

Gaeg- Gaegaeg- Gaeg-

The lion-cat then began to continuously gasp as if something was stuck in its throat.

I thought it was a sign of it weakening, so I clenched my teeth hard, agitated as I used every last bit of my strength that I had saved till now, and tightened my choke-hold around its neck; dead set on bringing this fucking animal down.

“Uuuuuggggh!

Gaeg-

Ding-

『Healed Whitey’s Heartworm』 『Task Value + 10』

The lion-cat finally dropped to the ground as if it was dead, the sound of something being spit out was also heard before its collapse. My hands relaxed at the same time. Whoo, damn it. I thought my arms were going to come off from holding the dastardly animal for so long.

“B-Brother! Brother defeated the lion! My god, is this for real? Brother subdued a lion with his bare hands!”

“Hassan! Alive! We’re still alive! What do you think? Wasn’t I helpful?!”

“More than anything, my battle music certainly played a big role…”

Luna and Marco got up from under the drooping lion-cat’s body and began making a fuss. I too was very happy about our impossible victory, but the tiredness that spread throughout my body didn’t let me celebrate. In the end, all I could do was just keep panting with a rough breath.

“What is this? It seems like some kind of a bug… Oh, what do we have here, this is actually a Heartworm!”

Luna grabbed the rough ball of fur that the lion-cat had just spit out.

The size of the curled-up worm was about the size of the marbles that were usually sold in stationery stores when I was young, and the shape was very similar to the round body of an Armadillidium Vulgare — the potato bug from my world.

“It’s pure black! Wow, it’s a real Heartworm! We’re so lucky! It must be the blessing of Lady Knox at play here!”

“Sister, why are you making a fuss because of a worm that looks like a salt-sprinkled snail that’s pulled straight out of its shell?”

“This kind of worm nests in the hearts of cats! It is primarily used to make elixirs by drying and grinding it into powder. Wow, since the cat is rather big, the worm is relatively big too!”

“Dried insect powder? That’s one surefire way to reduce someone’s appetite. Do people in Ideope enjoy eating things like this?”

“It doesn’t have much of a taste, although it’s very good for health! The completed elixir sells for around 6 silvers, so even after splitting equally, it’s 2 silvers for each one of us!”

“Bastards, if you can afford to talk, tie up this bastard beast here…”

On the very brink of exhaustion, I did my best to firmly grasp the last vestiges of my consciousness and picked up the rope that was tossed on the floor. It was fortunate that a rope was included in the exploration package.

We then used the rope to tie the giant lion-cat’s feet, even tying it three times for good measure, lest the beast may regain its senses and easily tear its constraints apart. We also tied a knot so that the constraints wouldn’t come loose.

“Damn, it’s finally over…”

I was finally able to celebrate… Barely so. Then I felt a sudden movement behind me, it was Hamelin, the female flutist, who appeared from the dark and came our way with heavy footsteps.

“Interesting results… Expectations exceeded. A bit sloppy. Passable. However…”

The flutist disappeared into the darkness from which she had suddenly appeared after having muttered inaudible gibberish.

“What is it, damn it? Passable? What would failure mean then? Anyway, let’s get out of here as soon as possible, I wanna take a bath.”

Thus, the quest to find Nemea’s cat came to an end. Damn it, there’s no way this savage beast can be considered a cat.

***********

When I came out of the underground waterway, the world was covered in a veil of dim darkness.

“Oh lord, look at that. Look at that white fur. Is that a lion?”

“It looks like a cat, though; so cute!!!”

“But it has the size of a lion, doesn’t it? So it’s probably a lion… I don’t think you can find any cat of this size.”

“Damn it, you bastard, are you questioning my statement? Let’s duel, I’ll send you to Pluto, fucking bastard.”

“Come, you one-balled bastard. I’m gonna cut off the other one and turn you into a eunuch.”

A lot of attention was directed toward us as we were carrying the giant lion-cat on our heads. Some of them even began addressing us with compliments and questions.

“What a fine catch… such great fur! Did you hunt it yourself?”

“Actually…”

When I was about to answer, Marco, who was lifting the lion-cat’s ass, answered instead.

“Yes! This Samaritan brother here killed this lion with only his bare hands! This bard Marco has seen it clearly with my own two eyes!”

“Wow, damn it, I can’t believe he captured that humongous beast with his bare hands. He is not your run-of-the-mill savage. I would wet my pants like a little girl if that beast just gazed at my general direction.”

“Isn’t this guy Hassan? The one that slashed a hundred goblins. He has the same black hair as the rumors.”

“Have you been exiled to the city by your brethren because you killed too many people in the wilderness?”

“From what I’ve heard, he was once called the human butcher, when he roamed the wilds. They say he’s a great bastard.”

Wait, damn it, what the hell is happening? Is there a Hassan, besides me, that I don’t know about?

“Brother, it seems you’ve become quite famous now thanks to me. Don’t worry, there’s no need to thank me since we’re brothers…”

“Oi, damn it, is this your doing? What the hell have you been spreading about me?”

“I never lie brother. I only speak the truth, it’s just that sometimes the truth is uglier than the worst of lies.”

This bastard was spouting the same words as that flutist woman, Hamelin. He seemed to like her words a lot.

But… Where the fuck is the truth in these rumors? Rather than it being the ugly truth, everything is only heinous lies, you damn bastard.

I honestly felt bothered by all the attention that was centered on me. I should give back this monstrous beast to its owner and get my money as soon as possible.

“Brother, can I put it down here?”

“Yeah, you worked hard, bastard. She said it was a cat but damn is this bastard heavy, I feel sore all over just from carrying this heavy beast… Hmm?”

“Leave my 10% in the Guild’s front desk. I have a job to do in the underground waterway. So, umm, I’ll be leaving right now.”

“Oh, big nose. Before you go, take this- It’s a Moai totem.”

Luna took out a Korean Moai statue-shaped totem from the now crumpled and old-looking raincoat, that she wore, and handed it over to Marco.

“What a great way to stimulate my artistic libido. Anyway, let’s talk later, gotta go…”

Marco laid down the lion-cat in front of Nemea’s alchemy shop and hurriedly left the scene, not even looking back once as if he was going back to take some kind of hidden treasure.

“Big-nose, that boasting bastard. His big nose will really get hurt one of these days if he keeps doing things like this.”

“It’s all right, Hassan. My expertise as a voodoo shaman is telling me he’s gonna get stoned to death someday.”

“Y-yeah…”

Still, he was of great help no matter what I say about him, it was good that we met him in the waterways.

I honestly don’t think his guiding capabilities were needed, but without him, I and Luna would have to move this huge cat or lion or whatever this bastard beast was alone.

In other words, I’d have to move it on my own. It was honestly dreadful just thinking about it. Of course, Luna was helpful in her own way too.

If Luna hadn’t burned the grass and used her toad something oil at the critical time, I might have ended up in this lion-cat’s stomach already.

“You did a great job too, Luna. You were very helpful.”

“R-Right? I can do it if I try!”

After using a potion worth one silver the cost of this quest went straight to 2 silvers.

It was an utter waste of money but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to dampen Luna’s mood with this info.

“Then, can I leave too, Hassan?”

Luna hesitated as I was about to knock on the door to Nemea’s shop. She was holding a leather water bottle while looking rather conflicted as she looked back and forth between me and the bottle.

She looked like a child that was holding her Christmas present, and just couldn’t wait to unwrap it to see what’s inside.

She has been in this state since she got her hands on that worm, that Heartworm or something.

“What are you going to do?”

“The freshness of the ingredients is of key importance when making elixirs. I’m gonna get the rest of the ingredients right away. I don’t think the shops are closed yet so I have to go now. If I stay up overnight making it, then the elixir should be ready by tomorrow morning.”

“Why don’t you wait till we both get paid together for this job? We both worked so hard for it, you know…”

“…I-I don’t want to go in there.”

“Hmmm…”

“See you in the guild tomorrow morning, Hassan!”

“Oi,” Luna disappeared from her spot with a smile and a mischievous “Hehe…” sound without even letting me finish my words.

Sighing at her antics, I knocked on the store door while being inwardly bewildered by the ridiculous sight of the pink twin tails disappearing behind the corner of the merchant alley.

Knock- Knocknock-

“Ah~ You’ve arrived, my friend~ See you later, then~ I have to deal with guests now~”

Nemea’s soft, slightly lethargic voice came from across the door of the shop. I wondered if there were some other guests she was tending to. Soon, however, the door opened and a swarm of filthy black rats stormed off at my feet, disappearing into the darkness of the night.

Sisisik!

“Damn it, What the hell!”

“Oh, my goodness~ It’s whitey~ Look how thin my poor little thing became after not eating for a while~”

The witch clicked her tongue in pity after opening the door and seeing the white-furred beast lying almost lifelessly on the ground.

No matter how many times I looked at it, it seemed like a big lion, rather than a cat, that ate well enough and was in pristine condition. It looked in no way slender or thin. It also was very energetic for someone supposedly starving. It’s terrifying to think of how the fight would have gone if it was in perfect condition.

“Come in, my friend~ There’s a lot I want to talk about~ You seemed to have met Hamelin too~”

“The story has already spread all the way here?”

“Witches have many eyes and ears and they’re everywhere~”

How did you hear this piece of news so fast in a world without cell phones? As expected, she had some terrifying surveillance magic up her sleeves.

Of course, science wouldn’t develop with such convenient magic around. If you just think about it, magic is actually a deep-rooted evil.

“Whitey~ How long will you lie down~? Hurry up~”

Clatter-

“Oh damn it, you scared me!”

The giant beast, that I previously thought was unconscious, ripped the rope that was tied to its front paws like mere grassroots then stood up and turned to face the witch.

And then it started to rub its head on the hem of the witch’s skirt, like an obedient pet. This scene was so fucking scary it gave me goosebumps all over my body.

Kareureureuk

“Did you get a massage?”

Kareureuk!

“You spit out a bug too~? Hehe~ My friend, it seems like Whitey liked it~ Well, I did like it too~ I can still remember that day very vividly~ That’s definitely cheating~ Don’t go out as you like from now on, Whitey~ Okay~?”

The witch and the cat entered the store while I was in a daze, seeing their interactions.

“What are you doing~? Hurry up and come in, my friend~ It looks like the kid isn’t here with you~ There are a few places I want you to take care of with your magic hands~”

Did you guys like this chapter? Luna had been surprisingly useful lmao, and Marco was just Marco. It’s getting really steamy , the first R18 chapter is getting closer and closer. See you soon.

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