Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu

Volume 4, Chapter 14 [Questions And Answers]

[Roswaal: You felled the White Whale, and repelled the Witch Cult that had been targeting the Estate. Whether it was sealing an Alliance with Candidate Crusch-sama, or the aforementioned battle, your achievements have certainly grown――fu~mu]

Inadvertently laying more and more of his weight onto the bed, Roswaal touched his chin and closed is eyes. Uttering in his mouth, in this exchange with Subaru in the middle of the night, were all the various things that had occurred in his absence.

And Subaru, pressing down his bad habit of derailing the conversation, tried his best to eliminate the boasting and the tales of suffering, and had given what he thought was an objective explanation of the events. Then, looking back on his conducts once more,

[Ram: ……To put it bluntly, you seem to have done so much that it’s starting to make me doubt whether your words are delusional. Since when did you become a character in an action-adventure stage play, Barusu?]

[Subaru: What you just said gave me a pretty subtle feeling I couldn’t really explain, you know……though, I’m also still wondering how I did all that myself. But whether it’s by my own evaluations or other people’s evaluations, it was no small contribution, was it?]

It was a result that even Kong-Ming wouldn’t have dared to put together. And even under Ram’s cold sarcasm, it seemed that she at least acknowledged the significance of Subaru’s accomplishments. So bit by bit, his spirits rose. (*Kong Ming was an ancient military genius from the Chinese Three-Kingdoms period)

[Roswaal: A result beyond all expectations, there is no o~ther way to put it. Su~ch an achievement, even I…… or, not even anyone, could have ima~gined it]

As if he had finally finished digesting his astonishment, Roswaal spoke these words of full of praise. Then, with a serious expression so rare to him, his mismatched eyes gazed into Subaru, who was sitting in a chair in front of his bed.

[Roswaal: Fi~rst, I want to once more convey my words of gra~titude. ――For protecting my land, and the people of my realm, you have my deepest gratitude]

[Subaru: Ah, ah oh. Yeah. How should I say this uh… hearing you say it like that kinda makes me wanna to curl up in a ball. It wasn’t that big of a deal or anythi……]

[Ram: It seems Barusu is a little, unable to grasp the gravity of your words of gratitude, Roswaal-sama]

As Subaru put a stop to Roswaal’s courteous words of thanks, Ram took a step forward and interrupted. Her clear, unwavering eyes were looking down on him,

[Ram: Interrupting on your superior, and on top of that rejecting his words of thanks is in its essence unforgivable. Besides, as a Margrave, Roswaal-sama is someone who carries the power of an entire wing of the Kingdom of Lugnica. ――Words of gratitude from him holds far more weight than Barusu can imagine]

[――――]

[Ram: From Roswaal-sama’s position, he shouldn’t even have to bother looking at someone beneath him, let alone offer words of gratitude. To have gone to such lengths, please have some consideration for its significance]

Like a slap in the face, Ram threw out these words that wiped off Subaru’s over-optimistic thoughts. Listening to this, unable to come up with a single reply, Subaru hung his head. Then, saying [No~ no~], Roswaal lightly waved his hands as if to smooth things over,

[Roswaal: The way Ram said it was a bi~t too exaggerated. My words don’t carry tha~t much value]

[Ram: Roswaal-sama]

Hearing Ram’s concerned call, Roswaal nodded, and with [Ho~wever], he continued,

[Roswaal: Setting aside the weight of my gratitude due to my social standing for now, the weight of what Subaru-kun has accomplished is clear to anyone’s eyes. As~ such, if I don’t reward you appropriately, you can ea~sily imagine the disappointment and public outrage that would be directed to~wards me]

[Subaru: ……So then, what are you going to do for me?]

[Roswaal: A fitting reward. ――Subaru-kun, do you remember what happened in the Royal Selection Hall?]

Seeing Subaru’s throat choking up, Roswaal narrowed his eyes.

As this gaze was piercing through him, what passed across Subaru’s mind were the abominable memories that even now made his chest burn with shame and self-derision whenever he recalls them. The declaration he had made in that place, his reckless words, his lack of understanding, his lack of self-understanding… the laughable nonsense uttered by that foolish self, who had gotten even the most important thing wrong in his mind.

But still, even so――

[Subaru: I remember. It’s not something I could ever forget. ……or should forget, I think]

[Roswaal: Then, as my reward for your actions, how about I make the words you said in that place into a reality. ――Rest assured, on the dawn when we leave this place, I shall appoint you as a Knight]

Lifting his head, for a moment, Subaru was unable to take in the meaning of those words. Seeing Subaru wavering, blinking, Roswaal nodded his head,

[Roswaal: Fighting alongside the Count in the battle against White Whale, and slaying a Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, I cannot allow these deeds to go down in anonymity. Your name, the name of <Knight> Natsuki Subaru shall be held with honor and spoken with admiration throughout the Kingdom. ――When that is so, no one will be able to laugh at the words you have spoken in that Hall]

Hoping to be of assistance to Emilia, they had been the barkings of an empty-handed youth.

The youth who had been dreaming, and who had so many times been broken by the face of reality, having despaired, been sunk into madness, driven by vengeance into despising all things, and at last saved by love ―― now, he was here.

Everything that happened in that time, surely, the “Honor” that had passed through Roswaal’s lips… would be proof, that there had been some value in all of that.

――That, no longer remaining in the minds of anyone except Subaru, was the fact that they were Rem’s deeds.

[Subaru: ……Thank you, I will accept. If it means it would bring some meaning to that battle we fought]

[Roswaal: It is an achievement to be proud of, and I will not allow anyone to make light of it. You now have the right to stand by Emilia-sama’s side with your head held high. By your own strength, you have earned this]

[Subaru: ……It wasn’t, just my own strength]

Listening to Roswaal’s words, he murmured this under his breath. Watching Roswaal lightly furrowing his brows as if not understanding its meaning, Subaru closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, as he opened them again, he casually shrugged and,

[Subaru: That was a serious exchange, oy. Gotta be careful, after being out-of-character for so long it’ll be embarrassing to go back to normal again. My face is already heating up!]

[Roswaal: ……Yo~u’re quite right. Eeya~eya, that was not like me at all, even my shoulder’s gotten sti~ff. With the relationship between you and me, it really isn’t like us to be talking so se~riously]

As if mirroring Subaru as he broke off his serious face, Roswaal’s expression relaxed as well, and the tense atmosphere of a moment ago had all but disappeared. And, watching over the conversation between Subaru and her master, Ram let out a small sigh, and with [Well], she continued the conversation,

[Ram: Then, Barusu, you have something you want to ask Roswaal-sama, don’t you? That’s why you placed Emilia-sama far away from our conversation, after all]

[Subaru: Your shrewdness earlier really helped getting this conversation going, much appreciated…… It’s not that I’m treating Emilia-tan as a nuisance, but it seems Ros-chi’s mouth will get stiff if she’s here]

Ram’s pointed observation made Subaru take on an awkward smile. Seeing this smile, Ram directed her gaze toward the place where Emilia had been standing, making sure once more that there was only an unpopulated empty space left over by her absence.

[Ram: I got Lewes-sama to accompany her on a tour of the Sanctuary…… But when Emilia-sama heard that Barusu will be remaining here, she seemed to have been feeling a little lonely]

[Subaru: Even though I’m glad I’m being relied on, if I think about all the things to come, I can’t be rushing to every immediate desire in front of me. Most likely, she’ll meet up with Otto on the way. Though I am a bit worried about having him alone with her…… that bastard Otto will probably make a move on her… aaaah what do I do? Emilia-tan is super mega adorable oh no I’m getting worried] ????????????????e????????. c????m

[Roswaal: Talking to yourself and making yourself even more worried is ba~d idea, don’t you think? Anyway, you were no~t mistaken. ――The truth is, if there are things that I don’t want Emilia-sama to hear, I would probably ne~ver open my mouth]

Seeing Subaru’s heart fluttering about insubstantial worries, Roswaal shook his head, and laid bare his shameless secretiveness. And as Roswaal did so, Subaru closed one of his eyes, and with a [Just as I thought] put his inner thoughts to his tongue,

[Subaru: You’re intentionally restricting information to Emilia-tan……Just who do you think you’re trying to imitate here?] (Puck :3)

[Roswaal: It’s necessary to be selective with the information, do~n’t you think? As a Royal Selection Candidate, Emilia-sama’s importance is fa~r above mine. But, right now, her body and her knowledge have not caught up to accompany her qualification and status, and are still in need of polishing. So, while she is still learning, putting too many burdens on her would be unre~asonable……]

[Subaru: Saying this like you’re a guy who only meant to provide a carefree learning environment for Emilia-tan, that’s a pretty way to frame it. But to leave her in the dark in a fatal situation, knowing full well but failing to tell her, that doesn’t sound reasonable at all, now does it. Even for you, that can’t be a good thing]

Knowing that Roswaal was trying to gloss it over with superficial words, Subaru held back his urge to argue, and continued his pursuit in a quiet voice. Seeing Subaru’s calm disguise, Roswaal closed a single eye, and silently gazed back at him in return.

Intently, his single eye――the left, yellow pupil continued to stare into Subaru. Unaware of the meaning of that unsettling gaze, Subaru’s body wavered. And then, as if having read into his discomfort, Roswaal laughed,

[Roswaal: We~ll, I imagined you would be pursu~ing this to the end sooner or later? That’s why, this time I have prepared my reso~lve]

[Subaru: Resolve?]

[Roswaal: The resolve that I will no longer dodge Subaru-kun’s questions, and will now give a~nswers. Even if I want to run, I am burdened by this wound, now is just the perfect time, do~n’t you think?]

With a dry, rattling laugh, on the bed, Roswall lightly tapped himself on the thigh as he pronounced this.

For just a moment, Subaru was taken aback by how meekly he had accepted defeat.

[Subaru: …….Just what, kind of wind is blowing here]

[Roswaal: Tha~t you don’t trust me up to now makes me feel a bit lo~nely. But then again, considering the relationship between you and I, I can’t blame you for fe~eling this way]

[Subaru: Not that I think it’s good to be so blatant with my wariness, but with everything that’s happened up to now, it’s only to be expected. You’ve always been a little on the excessively secretive side, after all…… But this time, I can trust you?]

[Roswaal: Of course]

Seeing Subaru’s suspicious gaze, Roswaal nodded and lightly opened his arms.

[Roswaal: Everything that you have accomplished over these past few days have given me more than enough proof to open my heart to you. I can be at ease now. From now on, I can place my trust in you, and into the depths of my heart accept you and recognize you――as my acco~mpli~ce]

[Subaru: Hold on. Why, do I get the feeling I’ve just been given a few heavy crosses to bear? It’s alright if you don’t rip everything open like that, just letting me touch it a little is enough]

[Roswaal: Ayaaya, even when it’s bursting out of me you’re sti~ll so cold]

[Subaru: It’s not that, but if you suddenly pull it all out like that, it’s just a bit too heavy……]

As their exchange was starting to sound like a couple who had just began dating disagreeing about where to take their relationship, Subaru coughed and tried to sort out his thoughts, and began with [Anyhow],

[Subaru: Let’s leave the accomplice part for another conversation, for now, just let me ask some questions I’ve been wanting to ask you. ――So, what’s the real reason you’re hiding all this information from Emilia. First, let’s start from there]

[Roswaal: ――――]

Once again, Roswaal closed one of his eyes and glared at Subaru.

How Roswaal chooses which information is shared with Emilia――the implications that can follow from this, including all the events of the previous loops, would be unfathomable.

The fact that she was a Half-Elf by birth―― if she had known that this information would incite the Witch Cult into action, then perhaps they might have been able to prepare effective countermeasures against the attack on Arlam village and the Roswaal estate.

And on the other side, it would have had an impact on Subaru’s actions as he frantically dashed to and fro to salvage the situation, then, as a result, maybe what happened to Rem would have――

[Subaru: Answer me, Roswaal. If you want to make Emilia-tan the King, then surely, it would be just as inconvenient for you if she dropped out on the way. Yet even so, why are you going to such lengths to put Emilia-tan at a disadvantage by concealing information from her? It doesn’t make any sense]

[Roswaal: To that question, I will answer it as such ――Everything is as you pointed out, and it is because it is exactly as you pointed out, that the information I share with Emilia-sama is restricted]

[Subaru: …….!? What’s that supposed to mean. Are you trying to say that concealing information and placing Emilia at a disadvantage, is somehow necessary for her winning the Royal Selection?]

[Roswaal: Indeed it is so. You don’t think there is any me~rit in that?]

Roswaal’s reply throwing his thoughts into disarray, Subaru furrowed is brows and laid bare his confusion. Seeing this response from Subaru, Roswaal shifted himself on the bed, causing it to creak.

[Roswaal: Subaru-kun, could thi~s be what you wa~nted to say? That when they learn of Emilia-sama’s participation in the Royal Selection, there would be a possibility that the Witch Cult would make a move. And in reality, the Witch Cult did move, and attacked my lands. Furthermore, if I had known of this possibility, then I should have been able to prepare some appropriate countermeasures]

[Subaru: Y-yeah. Exactly like that. Anyone would think that, it should be obvious. I might not have known, but the relationship between the Witch Cult and Half-Elves is common knowledge, isn’t it? In fact, you must have known. If that’s the case, then why didn’t you prepare anything……no, even before that, why did you leave estate and seclude yourself at the Sanctuary?]

[Roswaal: I’ve been confined here in the Sanctuary, it wasn’t as if I meant to be away from estate for so many days……]

[Subaru: Your excuses won’t work anymore. How you got injured and placed into a state of house arrest was when you challenged the Tomb in order to appease the villagers from Arlam. In other words, it was a consequence of me evacuating the villagers from the Witch Cult……so before that, not returning was by your own intention]

[Roswaal: Using logic to argue against an opponent you’re angry at does pay off. It re~ally is, a good habit to get into]

Hearing Subaru’s rejection of his simple excuse, Roswaal casually shrugged as if he had never expected it to fool him. Displeased with this expression, Subaru took a step forward, but,

[Subaru: ……Ram]

[Ram: Roswaal-sama is burdened with wounds. But even so, to incinerate Subaru, a single fingertip would be sufficient……But Ram, will not forgive such insolent behaviour in front of her]

[Subaru: You seemed to have accepted it. Being treated like a sacrificial piece, it was the same for you as well. He knew those idiots were coming to the village, and yet he fled all alone from that powderkeg waiting to blow. How do you forgive something like that]

[Ram: It’s not a matter of forgiving or not forgiving. Ram will pardon any and all action taken by Roswaal-sama. However he treats Ram, whether it’s cutting me down or casting me aside, it is all the same]

[Subaru: You――!!]

In front of Ram’s incomprehensible devotion, Subaru’s throat filled up with rage

But even so, he could not suddenly resort to violence. Perhaps it was because of the sober judgement that he would not be a match against either of the two in front of him, or perhaps, it was because――

[Subaru: ……Even Rem, was sacrificed because of those kind of reasons I can’t understand]

[Ram: ――? I don’t know who you are referring to, but Ram has no relation to anyone by this name. To Ram, Roswaal-sama is everything, and everything else is insignificant]

Even Subaru’s wrenched-out appeal could not bring about the slightest fragment of an echo in Ram’s heart.

He had already known that. That for the girl who had forgotten Rem’s existence, that plea would have been meaningless. Yet, at the same time, he also understood.

From the start, he had been aware of Ram’s unusual loyalty to Roswaal.

But this perverse obstinance now, was a different kind of madness than the one carried by the Ram that Subaru had known up to now.

And there was no greater reason for this, than her having forgotten Rem’s existence.

Subaru didn’t know the details of what had happened in their past. But piecing together the fragments from what Rem had told him, he could get a sense of the mutual reliance the sisters had for each other.

With her sense of guilt, and her inferiority complex――swaying in between the two, Rem’s complexes had made her become even more deeply dependent on her older sister. And while Ram’s instability was not plain to see, when she is around her younger sister, fragments of it would show through.

Just like Rem, whose world mostly consisted of Ram, Ram’s world consisted only of Rem and Roswaal. Her complexes having been brought to a resolution, when that narrow world, beginning with Subaru, took in many, various things, Rem changed. But Ram’s world had remained narrow.

Having forgotten the person who had made up half of her world, now, Ram’s world is comprised only of Roswaal.

It may be extreme, but that was the cause of her excessive loyalty to Roswaal.

[Roswaal: Ram do~n’t excite Subaru too much. A~fter all, Subaru didn’t intend to do anything outrageous aga~inst me. It was o~nly, a step forward]

[Ram: If you say so, Roswaal-sama]

[Roswaal: Yes yes. It’s no~ matter. Isn’t that right, Subaru-kun. You look a little angry, but you are not taken over by ra~ge. Something like losing yourself and pu~nching me, you would not choose to lose this opportunity to continue our conversation without interruptions, wo~uld you]

[Subaru: Just what, is that supposed to mean……]

[Roswaal: It’s si~mple. If this was the old you, somewhere along this conversation you would have thrown a fit, shouted, and the conversation would have ended. But you didn’t, and even while you pressed down your anger you hung on to the argument, without letting go…… You have grown up, I me~an to say]

As Roswaal was lightly clapping, delivering this superficial compliment, Subaru felt a burning rage in his chest that made him want to cry out. But, knowing if he gave in to that, it would be giving his opponent exactly what he wanted, he stopped himself, and taking a long, deep breath, he held back the waves of his rage.

――And in doing so, he realized that he had proved Roswaal’s previous words correct, and he couldn’t hold back his irritation with with himself.

[Roswaal: We~ll now, teasing the young man any more than this would not be adult-like. Since you’ve shown me how you have gro~wn up, I should show a bit more matu~rity on my end as well]

[Subaru: ……Then please do so. Anyways, please clearly answer my previous question. Answer without trying dodge it. Why, have you hidden the Witch Cult from Emilia. And why, when you knew that the Witch Cult was coming, did you, the greatest combat force we have, leave the estate!]

[Roswaal: I can answer both questions with a single answer. ――I behaved as such in order to avoid a confrontation with the Witch Cult]

[Subaru: Huh――?]

Hearing this calm and orderly reply, for a moment, Subaru couldn’t understand.

Chewing them down, swallowing, digesting those words within his mind, and soaking in their contents,

[Subaru: I don’t, understand. In order to avoid fighting the Witch Cult……but why? Don’t tell me you’re allergic to them, or any crap like that!? If you……. if you were there, couldn’t you have taken those bastards out in one shot? Then the victims……]

[Roswaal: I see. It’s tru~e, if I was there, then the ca~sualties from this disturbance would have lessened. I try to have an accurate understanding of my own strength, and I am aware that I am among one of the few most powerful people in this country. It’s safe to say, that if I was there, then the Witch Cult attack this time would have been easily repelled]

[Subaru: If you understand that, then why――!]

[Roswaal: That is, why]

Watching drops saliva flying from Subaru, Roswaal held out a finger to stop him, and then, pointing that same finger toward the ceiling,

[Roswaal: If I had done everything, it would not have Emilia-sama’s achievement, nor would it have been your achievement, now would it? Even if my own reputation was improved, it would have been of no~ use]

[Subaru: ――――h]

What he was saying, Subaru could not understand it at all.

It must have been a joke. Praying, that Roswaal would follow that with some kind of jest, Subaru held his tongue and waited for Roswaal’s next words.

However, looking at Subaru, who had grown silent, Roswaal only tilted his head,

[Roswaal: How could I deny it? After all, it was a disaster that I can be completely certain was going to happen. How could I possibly not use that to the fu~llest?]

[Subaru: Y-you……do you even know, what you’re saying…….?]

[Roswaal: ――? I don’t understand which part Subaru-kun fi~nds to be a problem. What could it be, I wonder. Was it the damage done to Arlam village, was it having had to borrow the strength of the mercenaries and Crusch-sama’s private army to repulse the Witch Cult……or was it about the fact that all these damages could have been avoided?]

Subaru’s voice was trembling, and, as if reading into the inner depths of his heart, Roswaal threw out those words as though it was all a matter of course.

Hearing this reply, Subaru felt a tremor trembling through every organ of his body.

Before, when he had spoken with Puck, when the spirit said in front of the sleeping Rem that “This child sacrificed herself to help Lia”, Subaru had flown into a rage.

And because that happened, Subaru painfully realized that in between his and the Great Spirit’s sensibilities, there was an insurmountable gap that could not be filled in with words. In other words, the rage he felt at that moment made him understand that they had always been two fundamentally different entities.

However, that was not the case for Roswaal. He understood the reason why Subaru was mad, and he knew what Subaru wanted to say――and it was while knowing all of that, that he made this cruel decision.

[Subaru: That was all hindsight, wasn’t it. In a way, I understand what you’re trying to say. In repulsing the Witch Cult’s attack, whoever was in command would receive the credit, and that would have no small an impact on the Royal Selection, I can understand that……and I also understand that if you took care of it yourself it would not have the same effect. But!]

Revealing his teeth, Subaru, with a wild swing of his arm,

[Subaru: How many people do you think died because you weren’t there and didn’t bother to say anything!? Sure, the casualties weren’t catastrophic. But still, the number wasn’t zero. People died. Whether it was our own people, or those bastards from the Witch Cult……]

[Roswaal: Even if I was there, the treatment of the Witch Cultists would not have changed. All of them, would just have been reduced to ash. I’ll accept responsibility for the casualties on our side, but to blame me for the enemy’s losses would be a bit of a stre~tch don’t you think]

[Subaru: ――B-, still, couldn’t there have been a more peaceful…… No, it’s not about that! Every single thing you’ve been saying had been in hindsight! It’s true it went well. Our losses were minimal, the enemies were wiped out. Emilia-tan is safe, the villagers of Arlam were all safely evacuated…..But that was, all just coincidence. Originally th――]

Originally, if Subaru didn’t do anything, the villagers, everyone in the mansion, Emilia…

[Subaru: They should have been dead. This time, if everything didn’t work out perfectly……everyone would have been wretchedly, cruelly, agonizingly…… tortured to death]

Covering his face, Subaru strangled back the tears within his voice.

On the other side of his closed eyelids, once again those scenes of hell that he could never forget emerged.

The village consumed by flames. The cadavers strewn about the ground. The corpses of the children. And Rem’s dead body abandoned on the mansion’s garden. And, at last, the frozen, ending of the World.

――All of that, would have been the indisputable World if Subaru could not overturn it by Returning by Death.

[Subaru: If you were there, none of those thing would have happened……You knew, but still watched them die. How many times, have you killed those people……]

[Roswaal: It’s troubling to be so misunderstood. The ones who attacked were the Witch Cult, no~t me. Besides, the Witch Cult’s attack was stopped by your hands before anything could happen, the victims you spoke of never existed. ――You are only repeating nonsense]

[Subaru: ――Is that so]

Listening to Roswaal’s cold words, Subaru dropped his shoulders and replied in a quiet voice.

Nonsense ――if that’s what he considered them to be, then there was nothing Subaru can say to change that. Return by Death could not be explained to him, nor could Roswaal be blamed for things that never happened in this reality.

The only one who had experienced that hell was Subaru, and the one who exonerated Roswaal of the crime of bringing about that hell, was also Subaru.

[Subaru: ……If I turned out to be still just a useless piece of trash, then what would you have done? To make Emilia King, you want that as much as I do. But the odd were just too one-sided, it’s not even enough to gamble on…… it was far more likely that everything would have ended there]

[Roswaal: However, you overturned such a possibility. ――Are you unsatisfied?]

[Subaru: I am unsatisfied. You don’t seem to be the kind of guy who would leave things to something so uncertain]

There are several kinds of people who gamble. There are those who don’t know whether they will win or lose, and rely entirely on their luck. And there are those who do not wish to be directed by fate, and only when they have assembled the best possible hand, do they at the very last moment leave it to chance.

And then, there are those who pre-arrange everything from beginning to end, and would only run the fixed gambling match where victory was already certain.

[Subaru: You are not the kind who would gamble in the first place. So, why did you do it?]

[Roswaal: ――Because, I believe in you]

When Subaru asked a second time, Roswaal’s voice dropped in pitch as he replied.

Hearing this answer, Subaru couldn’t stop a snicker from leaking from his lips.

[Subaru: So you don’t feel like giving me a serious answer after all]

[Roswaal: Whether you believe my story or not is a another matter, but everything I’ve said is true? Because here, tonight, I’ve decided that I will not li~e to you. The things that I cannot say, I will not say, and if there are things inappropriate for this occasion, I will not mention them. But, what I do say, I swear that they are free of falsehoods]

In response to Subaru’s words that were tinged with a color of disappointment, Roswaal said this in a solemn voice. But, was this something that could be believed? Having already lost all positive impressions of Roswaal in the conversation up to now, Subaru was no longer in a position to accept everything at face value.

In front of Subaru’s sharpening glare, Roswaal rolled his head,

[Roswaal: I will say it again. ――The reason I made this decision, is because I believed in you. I believed, that if you realized the danger Emilia-sama was in, you will strive to establish an alliance with Crusch-sama, and do everything in your power to repel the Witch Cult, and distinguish yourself in doing so]

[Subaru: Even if we pretend for a moment that’s true, just how the hell did you decide to believe in someone like me! What do you know about me! We’ve only known each other for a month, what me looked like I was the kind of man that you can place that kind of faith in?]

Stomping on the floor, Subaru objected to Roswaal’s shameless and flowery words. Pointing out a finger, Subaru shook his head, rejecting what he had just said,

[Subaru: But it couldn’t be. When I last left you, I was absolutely, one-hundred-percent trash. It was only because of what happened afterwards, that the trash got more or less better. But what happened afterwards, no one else knows except me. ――So just what part of me did you believe in!?]

Roswaal closed a single eye, and disturbingly, with the one yellow pupil, stared into Subaru.

As if to shake off that stare, Subaru kicked the floor with all his might.

[Subaru: It’s absurd! Are you really trying to say that you trusted that empty-headed idiot to get everything to work out, and just left your people and everything else behind like it’s some kind of a game, risking your own position and future as the wager? What am I even supposed to say to something that callous!?]

[Roswaal: ……It seems, this is the end of today’s conversa~tion]

Whereas Subaru had laid his anger bare, Roswaal only whispered in a lonely voice.

Upon hearing that whisper, Subaru screamed, lending voice to his inexhaustible vexation.

[Subaru: If you don’t intend speak straightforwardly, it’ll be pointless whatever you say. After this conversation, I don’t intend to believe anything you say anymore]

[Roswaal: It seems your impression of me has taken a dive, that is tru~ly regrettable. ……Even though I don’t think there is a need to confirm it, but regarding our conversation tonight, Emilia-sama…]

[Subaru: I won’t tell her. There isn’t much information to begin with, plus it’s all been embellished, there wouldn’t be any point in telling her. You’ve anticipated this as well, haven’t you. That’s why you’ve been going round and round]

Regardless of Roswaal’s true intentions, the Royal Selection was still ongoing, and creating any more friction between Emilia and Roswaal was not something he wanted to do. Besides, with Emilia now acting as a representative of the villagers of Arlam, Roswaal’s faction needs to remain united.

It gave him spasms to think how he was going along with Roswaal’s intentions, but, challenging the Trials would improve how people saw Emilia. ――And all of that, was controlled within the palms of that man’s hands.

[Roswaal: You understand everything, and the anger you harbour towards me is unbearable…… yet you didn’t flip over the table or anything like that. You re~ally are, just as I expected]

As Roswaal said this to Subaru, who had been grinding his teeth to hold back his vexation, Subaru lifted his head, and saw Roswaal’s face twisting into a truly revolting expression.

[Roswaal: You are, without a doubt, worthy of being my accomplice――no?]

[Subaru: ……You bastard, I hope you die a worthy death]

[Roswaal: I know. Without a doubt, I will be falling into hell. That is why, before that happens, I must extend my utmost brutality over the present world, to the best of my ability]

Sending a sharp glare at Roswaal’s declaration, without a word, Subaru turned around and stormed out of the room.

Any further conversation would have been pointless. If Roswaal had no plans of revealing his true intentions, if there was nothing Subaru could do to break into his thoughts, then nothing could have come of that exchange.

But,

[Subaru: ――You think everything will happen as you expect them to, and everyone will dance to your tune]

Clenching his fist tightly, walking down the street in the night, Subaru prepared his new resolve.

Tomorrow, Roswaal would have Emilia challenge the Trials, to overturn the understanding of the people of the Sanctuary and Arlam village, and their contempt for Half-Elves.

What may arise in that process, how many burdens Emilia will have to endure, were not within that man’s considerations. In the end, no matter how many wounds Emilia will bear, even if her heart was worn to its core, he would only frivolously laugh at the events unfolding in accordance to his will. If that were the case,

[Subaru: I won’t let it happen. That girl…… Emilia, I will protect her]

The Qualification to challenge the Trials―― if the dream he saw in the Tomb was not only a dream, then Subaru would also have been granted that Qualification.

It may have been granted on the whim of a Witch, but with it, he could thwart Roswaal’s plans. All of the pain and tears that have come into existence only because that man cared nothing about those around him, Subaru will put a stop to them here.

[Subaru: ――That, is what I must accomplish in this Sanctuary]

Upwards, across from where he threw up his fist, was the floating, pale-blue moon.

As if to hold onto that far and unreachable light, he closed tight his fist, and, sketching out the form of that cute silver-haired girl within his thoughts, he determined, he will crash head-on into that clown’s devious plans.

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

[Ram: ――Was that, really alright?]

In the room that Subaru had stormed out of, Ram, who had been watching over their conversation, asked this quietly. Hearing this, her master shook his head as if devoid of strength.

[Roswaal: Such a reaction was o~nly to be expected. But even if it was expected, it is a depressing thing, to be gouging at a young man’s heart]

[Ram: You do know there is no need to lie in front of Ram?]

[Roswaal: I’m glad you’re wo~rried about me, but those were my honest thoughts. Why, in Ram’s heart do I really seem like someone who enjoys doing these things?]

Answering by wordlessly averting her eyes from her master, Ram rearranged the bed sheets that had been ruffled in the earlier argument. As she did this, her fingers felt a hardness across her master’s stomach, and she pulled it out of the sheets. (Damnit Tappei!! >_<)

[Ram: Roswaal-sama. This is…]

[Roswaal: Aah, so~rry. If Subaru-kun had seen this, thi~ngs would have gotten quite co~mplicated. But, it would have been too much punishment if I had put this under my butt. If I’m not careful…]

Receiving what she passed back as if it was very precious, Roswaal gently caressed its surface as he took it. Then, he said [No matter what], touching a finger to his chin,

[Roswaal: Emilia-sama’s qualification is now confirmed, and Subaru-kun has been fired up. Tomorrow night, the Trials will begin……Ram, what do you think will ha~ppen?]

[Ram: Roswaal-sama’s considerations are beyond Ram’s ability to guess. ……Roswaal-sama, you know what is going to happen, then?]

[Roswaal: This thing isn’t that conve~nient. Compared to the incomplete ones held by the Witch Cult, it is somewhat superior, but it is nothing more than a poor imitation, and still far from what she desired. The argument with Subaru-kun just now, how much of that do you think happened as described]

Roswaal took a deep breath as if contemplating, and seeing this, Ram slightly raised her brows and then timidly, with hesitation,

[Ram: Then, how much of what you said to Barusu was……]

[Roswaal: Even though there was some acting……most of it was according to my true fe~elings. No no, but of course I knew Subaru-kun would be angry. But while I knew it, I could also add some things that I wa~nted to say as well, isn’t that so]

Roswaal waved his hands to Ram as if to explain himself, and then, with [Anyhow], he continued,

[Roswaal: To be despised by the partner of my heart, it does feel painful to be thought of this way, as if I had only been thinking of myself. Oh how childish I still am, my spi~teful friend]

Roswaal laughed as he spoke.

Wrapped within his arms, preciously, preciously, was a book with black binding.

Roswaal placed his fingertips over the binding of the book, and slowly, and slowly, he continued to trace over it.

Lovingly, and lovingly, slowly, and slowly――

-=Chapter 14 End=-