Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

God Xianle: Next! Let’s welcome our first contestant! Bull Demon King!

"Damn! Since when did the Bull Demon King know how to sing?!" Chen was shocked. He opened up his eyes wide and was waiting for the Bull Demon King’s message.

Ding!

Bull Demon King: (Sent a voice message)

Bull Demon King: Please enjoy! I’m going to sing the song called; My King Asked Me To Walk Around The Mountain! I hope everyone will like it! (Hehehe)

"Damn! This sounds interesting! And, the title of the song is really special!" Chen raised his eyebrows and tapped on the play button curiously.

[Yo! My king is asking me to walk around the mountain! Walk around the mountain!]

[Walk to the east of the mountain and kill the passer bys! And, snatch their girls! Yoyoyo~]

[Snatch the girl into the forest!]

[Ah~Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah~! The moaning wakes every bird up!]

....

*Giggle!*

Chen almost dropped his cellphone on the floor. This was his first time listening to a song like this! A special song from the Bull Demon King! The broken voice managed to give the others goosebumps! And, those vulgar lyrics were so indecent!

"This bastard has some real raw talent! Hahaha…How dare he join the singing competition? Maybe he was sent by the Monkey King to make us laugh! Hahaha…" Chen thought. He was laughing and pressing on this stomach. Tears almost squeezed out from his eyes due to the excessive laugh. At the same time, people in the chat group were completely shocked as well.

Zhu Bajie: What the f*ck! What kind of song was this?! I was almost scared to death! (Vomit blood)

Shunfeng Er: What the heck! I’m going to become deaf! (Rolling eyes)

Monkey King: I was drinking some self-brewed beer and your voice almost chocked to me to death!

Jade Face Fox: Hubby…Your voice is really terrible…(Embarrassed)

Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King: Other than that terrible voice, the lyrics are terrible as well! It’s the worst! It’s going to bring bad influence to underage kids! NeZha, you are not allowed to listen to this kind of dirty song! (Angry)

Princess Iron Fan: You are one asshole! Don’t come and look for me anymore! (Knife emojis)

God Xianle: Cough…This contestant is a complete joker! I, now announce that this joker has been disqualified! Don’t vote for him!

Bull Demon King: Not like this! You guys can’t do this to me! At least, let me know my points! (Crying)

Everyone: You got negative! Get lost!

...

God Xianle: Silence, please. Please forget about him! I promise you guys that things like this will not happen again!

Everyone: Better be! If not, we will close the group for good!

God Xianle: Don’t you worry guys! The next contestant will definitely not disappoint you guys! Let’s put our hands together to welcome the most gorgeous goddess in your group; Chang’e! 

Zhu Bajie: Oh yeah! My goddess is coming up next! (Spamming salivating and clapping hands emoji)

God Erlang: We will support you, Chang’e sister! You are the best here! (Clapping)

NeZha: Chang’e sister! You are the best! Muacksss!

Other male group members: Muacksss!

.....

Everyone couldn’t wait to listen to Chang’e singing. Even Chen was looking forward to it as well.

Ding!

Chang’e: (Sent a voice message)

Chang’e: Thank you so much for all the support! I’m going to present you guys with a song called; Water Carries My Heart! I hope you guys will like it!

"Haha…This is a good song! Wang Fei sang it quite well. I believe that Chang’e can definitely perform this song flawlessly!" Chen couldn’t wait any longer. Then, he tapped on the play button. Initially, he was going to compare the voice between Chang’e and Wang Fei. But, Chen was completely shocked when he heard Chang’e’s voice.

[When is the day coming? I hold the wineglass in my hand and look up to the sky!]

That angelic voice! It was crisp, clear and orgasmic! The first line of lyric managed to bring Chen to the place where Chang’e wants to express herself. He felt like he wants to have a shot of whiskey and just stare at the sky.

[I’m gone with the wind. Although the place is beautiful, it still couldn’t fill up the loneliness in my heart!]

There are so many hidden meanings in these lyrics! It just made everyone take in a long sigh. It said the palace that she currently stayed in is beautiful but there’s no one there except for her. The loneliness is extremely torturing!

[People leave all the time and the moon had different shapes from time to time]

[Things are never perfect!]

[I just wish someone can stay with me for the rest of my life.]

Chang’e used the last three lines of lyrics to express her wishes and feelings. Every single one was paying attention to every single word that she sang. Chen was getting teary after he listened to her song. He even started to sing the last line of the song.

Needless to say, Chang’s is born to be a singer!

Zhu Bajie: Oh my God! You are really my goddess! Too good! I’m literally crying right now! (spamming crying emojis) I’m totally voting for my goddess!

Su Shi: Thirty-two thousand likes! Chang’e sang this song flawlessly! There’s no one like her! I’m voting for her as well!

Shunfeng Er: Chang’e voice heal my ears! Vote! Vote for her! ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀᴛ N(o)vᴇl(F)ire

All the other male group members: Too damn good! Vote! Vote! I want to vote for my Chang’e sister! (Spamming kissing emojis)

God Xianle: Everyone! Please hold on first! Even though Chang’e’s voice is really good but you guys only have a chance to vote! I hope you guys can listen to the other contestants first! It’s fairer this way!

Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King: I agree with him. If we all vote for Chang’e right now, then, the rest of the contestants don’t even need to perform anymore!

Li Bai: Yea! Don’t vote first! The human contestants have not performed yet!

Everyone: Agree…Let’s listen to others first! Send out the next contestants!

God Xianle: Next…

After that, the competition was getting more and more interesting. Bo Ya sang a song called Water Flows Down From The Mountain. And, Ji Kang performed A Song About Guanglin. Their perfect tones made everyone crave for more. On the other hand, the contestants from the monster side performed as well. PiPa Jing performed a song called; House of Flying Daggers. Nightingale Lingyu sang a song called; Walking In Between Flowers. Their voices were pretty good as well! They were not professional singers but they were born with the talent to sing. The atmosphere in the group was getting more and more hyped. Those who wanted to vote for Chang’e changed their minds.

God Xianle: Everyone! Please be quiet! Next, we would like to invite our last contestant! I believe that his performance will definitely shock everyone! Let’s shout out this name together!

Everyone: God Chen!

Translator’s footnote

1. Shunfeng Er: A deity that has the ability to listen to sound form thousand miles away.

2. Su Shi: Su Shi, also known as Su Dongpo, was a Chinese writer, poet, painter, calligrapher, pharmacologist, gastronome, and a statesman of the Song dynasty.

3. Bo Ya: Bo Ya was a qin player from the Spring and Autumn period or the Warring States period.

4. Ji Kang: Ji Kang, sometimes referred to as Xi Kang, courtesy name Shuye, was a Chinese writer, poet, Taoist philosopher, musician and alchemist of the Three Kingdoms period.

5. Pipa Jing: A monster changed from jade pipa, is a fictional character featured within the famed classic Chinese Fengshen Yanyi.

6. Nightingale Lingyu: A monster that changed from a nightingale.