Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

A deathly silence lingered over the chat group; none of the members dared to even text.

Chen Xiaobei could imagine everyone standing by, ready to snatch the Red Envelope that the Primeval Lord of Heaven is throwing out! The old chap was the ruler of Three Realms and a bossy fellow after all – he would definitely prepare a generous Red Envelope to maintain his good name!

Judging from their respective silence, it appeared that even Grand Supreme Lord Laotzu and the Jade Emperor want to try their luck as well.

Clearly, the item inside the Red Envelope must be very valuable.

"I must get it! My Sifu has always been kind, I shall make him proud!" Beyond the thirst for precious items that lay within the Red Envelope, Chen Xiaobei desired to repay everything his Sifu has done for him too.

He was extremely focused, his thumbs stiffening as he prepared to tap the phone screen! In that instant, he could feel their air freeze around him was frozen. The sound of his own heartbeat was crystal clear. The moment has come!

"Oi! Asshole Xiaobei! What the hell are you doing?" Murong Xiaoyao had walked over to Chen Xiaobei and tapped his shoulder.

"F*ck!"

His thumbs tapped on the phone screen out of reflex!

"Murong Xiaoyao!!!" Chen Xiaoyao exploded. It was a crucial moment; a small mistake would blow all the effort he had put into waste!

"All I did was touch you on the shoulder! Why're you so mad?" Murong Xiaoyao was upset. She had never seen Chen so angry.

"I…" Just as Chen was about to throw a tantrum, a miracle happened!

Ding!

[Congratulations! You have snatched a Red Envelope from the Primeval Lord of Heaven! You have received a Twelve Wings Golden Cicada Larva! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

"Well, I'll be damned! Murong Xiaoyao!" Chen Xiaobei was so excited that he leapt up from his seat.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did you take the wrong medicine this morning? One second ago you were angry, now you are grinning like an idiot!" Murong Xiaoyao was getting a little scared.

*Mwaaah*

Chen Xioabei had grabbed her and planted a kiss on her pretty cheeks!

"You just did me a great favor!"

Releasing her, Chen Xiaobei began to jump around happily; his cellphone still in hand. All he wanted then was a microphone to sing into and express his bliss!

"You… You're such a dick… No man has kissed me before… I'm so pissed off right now!" Irked, Murong Xiaoyao stomped the floor before she found five hundred pairs of eyes staring at her.

Her face turned red immediately, and she quickly returned to Third Elder with her face shielded – just like an embarrassed wife.

"Xiaobei! What happened? Why're you so jovial?" Third Elder asked in curiousity.

In the room, the five hundred other heads nodded; they wanted to know too.

"Haha! I just snatched a very important Red Envelope! I'm so freaking happy right now!" Chen Xiaobei said as he kept hopping around, looking just like a kid who got a new toy.

Everyone was stunned by his answer.

"I think there's something wrong with this kid! He wasn't even that happy when he won nine hundred million just now! But now he's gone crazy after snatching a Red Envelope and kicked Dongfang Hong just because he bothered him – was that even necessary?!" They thought, unable to understand his deepest secret and the euphoria he was in!

There was no money that could purchase the item inside the Red Envelope, and neither would he give it away even if someone offered him all the money in this world! New ɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ᴄhapters are published on (f)ir(e).nᴇt

Additionally, the Red Envelope bore meaning in the feud between Jieism and Chanism. Chen Xiaobei would never stand idly by after seeing his school being bullied; it does not have to be Dongfang Hong either – he would have murdered any human or deity that tried to stop him from taking the Red Envelope!

Above all, Chen Xiaobei – a mere mortal – has just gave the Primeval Lord of Heaven and Chanism a slap in the face. It was definitely something that no one has done before!

That was why he's so thrilled!

"I need to get back to the chat group right now! I want to strut and keep slapping them! Bahahaha…" Calming himself, Chen Xiaobei quickly returned to the chat group.

All was chaos within!

God Erlang: What the hell?! God Chen again! And to think that he already snatched the Eight Diagram of Godly Prediction, as well as the Scripture of Heaven and Earth! You've got every valuable item!

Yanwang: Now he's also received something priceless from the Primeval Lord of Heaven! Remember, he snatched the Red Envelopes from all three saints from Three Qing too!

Bull Demon King: Brother! How are we going to snatch Red Envelopes with the luck you have!

Chen Xiaobei: You guys might not believe what I'm about to say, but I really didn't want to snatch this Red Envelope at all! All I wanted was to slap Lei Zhenzi but my hands refused to obey… That's why I accidentally tapped the screen, and… Oh! I still managed to slap Lei Zhenzi! (Cool emoji)

Lei Zhenzi: Chen Xiaobei! Stop showing off! (Glaring)

Chen Xiaobei: Lei Zhenzi! If I'm not mistaken, your grandmaster and Sifu are at the same level. So, you should be addressing me "Master Chen"! Where are your manners? Want some spanking?

Lei Zhenzi: I dare you to! I will reward you with a meal of thunder! (Threaten)

Chen Xiaobei: Damn! Where is the respect I deserve? Primeval Lord of Heaven, help! Lei Zhenzi wants to kill me!

Lei Zhenzi: I… (Stunned)

Primeval Lord of Heaven: Lei Zhenzi, stop fooling around! What did I teach you? Where are your manners? Do not embarrass Chanism here!

It was clear that the ancient was nervous. Chanism was completely humiliated by Chen Xiaobei's mere mention of wanting to slap Lei Zhenzi's face, and things soon escalated.

Lei Zhenzi: I know I'm at fault. I beg your forgiveness; grandmaster!

Primeval Lord of Heaven: Xiaobei, please be lenient since you're Lei Zhenzi's elder. Isn't that so?

Chen Xiaobei: Of course! I just want him to apologize to me!

Lei Zhenzi was extremely frustrated in that moment. However, there was no choice for him but to apologize to Chen Xiaobei since the issue would affect the good name of Chanism.

Lei Zhenzi: Master Xiaobei, I was at fault just now. Please forgive me.

Chen Xiaobei: This wouldn't happen if you behaved just now! Why did you have to act cocky in my face? My favorite pastime is slapping cocky people! You idiot! You shouldn't have done that.

Lei Zhenzi: (Speechless, crying)

Chen Xiaobei: Oh right! What the hell is that twelve wings creature? And why did the almighty Primeval Lord of Heaven find it appropriate to put an insect inside the Red Envelope and throw it to us?