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146. Olivin
Jasper is the strangest man | have ever met, and | have met many. | have yet to understand his motives for treatingwell. Or
why he keeps talking toso much. | feel like | have said more words in the past few hours than in the last
year
cat
“1 will go start dinner for the others, Mose says as he finishes his food. Looking at Jasper, he adds, “Rueben and Tyson are stubborn,
and they won't admit it, but we miss you. Ansel and | were wondering if we will still do the sshi t for
New Year's as last year.”
Jasper stands. “You mean eating pizza, jerking off to porn, and drinking until we pass out? Nah, | will stay here with
Olivia. Would you like that?” he asks me.
Knowing what answer he wants to hear, | reply, “Yes, Master,” when in reality, | could care less.
“Master?” Mose scoffs. “See you later then.”
Mose leaves, and when | finish the juice, Jasper takes the tray to the kitchen, helpstake a shower and brush my teeth and hair
before tuckingback in bed.
“1 will go check on the horses really quick. | expect to find you here. Understood?” he asks. | don’t reply because | know what | will
do the moment he leaves. “Letmake something clear to you: if | am your Master, you must obey everything | tell you. Right?”
The training sessions with Carlose to my mind. | used to be so strong-willed before everything turned into a nightmare, but
Carlos took his tand brokemore than | already was broken until it was cemented into my brain that | must do everything
my Master tells me.
“Yes, Master.”
“You are to stay in bed until | return. Also, you can’t harm yourself. Ever. Fail to do so, and | will have to punish you.” While | don’t
like the order, | nod, letting him know | will obey, not wanting to be punished. “Good girl,” he murmurs before givinganother
peck.
“Happy New Year,” Jasper wishesbefore kissing me. He has been doing it a lot since yesterday when he kissedfor the first
time. “Don’t et to make a wish.”
| already know what | want. It is the sthing I've wanted since | lost that boy with turquoise eyes.
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We are sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching a series on the TV. Miss Teapot sits on Jasper’s lap, purring softly.
“Happy New Year,” | wish him back, Loud music and cheeringe from the main house. “You should be with your blood-
brothers.”
Jasper looks over at the window, the main house is visible from here. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”
146 Olivia
He doesn’t want to leavealone because he knows that | haven't changed my mind about ending myself. | wonder if he will stop
caring once the sex videos they want to use to end my father’s political career are finally done. There are other ways to do that,
but my words won't matter to them, so | will keep quiet and take my family secrets to the grave with me.
“| have been alone since... Camila,” | say.
Jasper pulls my feet onto his lap, next to Miss Teapot, and removes my socks. “Why did you kill Camila?” he asks as he inspects my
toes.
My blood chills in my veins, and | start to feel nauseated. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
| can still feel the weight of the handgun in my hand, my palm sweating, my finger trembling on the trigger, Camila’s face as the
bullet hit her in the chest.
“From my understanding, you and she were like sisters. What went wrong?” Jasper keeps prodding.
“Accepting her as a friend when | knew Lords and Dukes can never be friends,” | say.
Like my ribs, my toes hurt all the time, but | don’tplain about it. Jasper checks the bandages. “That's what you think, that
Lords and Dukes can't be friends?”
“Angels and demons will never get along.”
He
puts back the socks, grabs the pack of ice from the table, and puts it on my feet. Mose said ice should help with the healing.
“Angels and demons might be forced to work together soon.”
“] don’t think that will end up good.”
“Why is that?” Jasper asks.
| shrug, but | say nothing else. Talking has always gotteninto trouble, that’s why now | prefer to be quiet and speak only when
necessary.
Jasper doesn’t insist onanswering him, and we go back to watching TV while he feedssome;
grapes.
Hours later, when he can barely keep his eyes open, Jasper turns off the TV, picksup in his arms, and takesto the bedroom.
Miss Teapot follows us.
Once | am under the duvet, he takes off his clothes, only keeping his boxers on, and crawls in bed next to me. The cat
curls at our feet..
Jasper is fast asleep, but | am wide awake, memories of Camila andhaunting me.
When | feel like | can’t breathe anymore, my heart throbbing painfully, | slowly get out of bed. Jasper hasn't told| can’t leave
the room or the house, only that | can’t hurt myself.
My toes touch the floor, excruciating pain shooting through my feet and legs. | concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other
until | reach the front door. | cra c k it open and listen for any noiseing from the main house or any part of the farm. When | am
sure the only thing | hear out there is the wind blowing, | step out on the snow, the
146 Olivia:
cold whipping my bare thighs, and | keep walking until | reach the barn.
I've wanted to see the horses since | learned about them, but Jasper told| was too sick to get out of the house. | also want to
check on the woman Jasper keeps in the barn, as | feat Tyson and Rueben might have tortured her for trying to escape. Besides, |
haven't had a fever in more than a day, and | can breathe more easily.
| slip inside the barn.
It is dark inside, and | search for a switch, hoping there are sinside lights, as I've gotten used to Jasper always leaving a lamp
or two on. It doesn’t take long to find what | am looking for, and a buttery lightes on.
The barn isn’t very big, with only six stalls, two of which are occupied, one is a Chesnut horse, while the other one an appaloosa
horse with black fur and white spots all over its back. It looks familiar tolike | have seen it before.
While | know better than to go into the stall of a horse that doesn’t know me, there is something about this horse that calls to me. |
walk up to it and observe it for a few minutes. Initially, | thought the white spots were part of the color pattern, but they are marks
of the abuse it endured.
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Poor baby.
| enter the stall, and the horse gets nervous, its cars pri c k e d forward, muscles tensed up, and breathing heavily. | reach out my
hand, hoping the horse will see | mean no harm.
“Easy,” | say.
It stamps the front leg against the wooden floor, the white of the eyes showing.
Jasper said the horses on the farm have been abused, and while | know nothing about animals with trauma, | do know how it is to
be abused.
“Easy,” | repeat, keeping my voice low, not wanting to frighten the poor animal even more.
| take a step closer, the horse getting more agitated.
“I know,” | whisper, “I know.”.
The horse keeps watching as | get closer and closer until the tips of my fingers touch its nose. The horse pulls back its head, and |
don’t move, waiting for it to decide if | am allowed to touch it again or not.
It feels like forever until the horse sniffs my hand, and sensing | have its permission, | pat its head a few times before. leaning my
forehead against it.
“l understand,” | whisper as | stroke the left side of its head.
The door lets out a squeaking sound as it opens, and | know | am in more shi t than ever.
| get out of the stall and hobble my way to the entrance. It’s not one of the guys that greetbut an angry-looking rottweiler. The
dog bares its teeth at me, growling low and menacing before running toward me.
All'l can do is wait as | can’t run.
146. Olivia
My heart pounds fast.
Dogs can kill humans.
| have seen it before.
With a bit of luck, the dog will end me. | won't even put up a fight.