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- Two-dimensional
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- Yuri
Chapter 18 : Who Are You?
♦Lena*
Ben had a nice truck compared to Elaine's car and the truck used at the farm. There weren't many
people with cars, and trains and boats still overwhelmed the need for vehicular transportation. But
Crimson Creek was definitely one of those places where a car was necessary to get around with its
narrow, bumpy gravel roads that weaved up and over the hills. It was my first time being out in the hills
outside of the estate, other than the quick drive from the estate to town.
I'd have been lying if I said it didn't make me nervous, but Elaine and Ben seemed unbothered by it.
The sky was dark, clear, and full of stars when we finally reached the party Ben had invited us to.
We pulled up to a lake, which I found rather shocking at first because it was smack dab in the middle of
nowhere, so far from town I couldn't even see the lights.
At least three dozen people around my age were gathered around a large bonfire at the lake's edge, a
radio sitting on a picnic table blaring music as everyone drank cheap beer. It almost felt like I was back
on Morhan’s campus again.
“Now, this is a party," Elaine squeaked with joy. swaying her body to the music as she linked her arm in
mine. "I'm glad this weekend wasn't a total bust!"
Ben looked back at us with a grin as we followed him down to the lake. I noticed his eyes lingered on
Elaine for a few extra seconds, which wanned my heart. I'd noticed the way he looked at her when we
were back at the farm.
I wondered if Xander had noticed it, but I doubted it. He was too busy looking incredibly cold and
glaring at Ben.
It was clear to me that Ben had little interest in me. He was likely just being nice in order to get closer to
Elaine. I was totally fine with that, especially when Ben brought us some drinks, and I noticed the look
of longing flash behind Elaine's eyes.
“What's this place called?" I asked Ben, motioning toward the water.
The bonfire reflected off the surface of the lake, giving it an odd red color. I wanted to see what it
looked like in the daytime because I was guessing it wasn't the clear, blue water I was used to back
home.
“Crimson Lake," he said with a shrug. "The original settlers weren't all that creative."
“Crimson Creek, like the actual creek, feeds into it," Elaine added, waving her hand toward the north.
"Oh," I said, not entirely sure what else to contribute to the conversation. Ben and Elaine were chatting
while I clutched a can of warm beer. I hadn't even opened it and was more than happy to just hang out
by the fire and people-watch.
I found it odd that so many young people lived in Crimson Creek. It was an old place, with little to no
infrastructure and few opinions in terms of education or employment. In fact, I noticed something
unusual as I continued to scan the crowd and felt a jolt of unease shoot through me.
There was a group of people standing away from the fire. They were huddled together, whispering to
each other and glancing in my direction every once in a while. They were dressed in heavy winter
clothing-parkas, boots, and hats. They looked out of place, especially since it was a rare warm and dry
evening.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtOne man in particular was staring at me, his gaze occasionally flicking in Elaine's direction. I noticed
him move his gaze to Ben. his eyes narrowing as he sized him up.
“Don't worry about those guys," Ben said, tilting his head toward the group. "They look rough, but
they're not. I know them."
"That guy on the left keeps looking at all of us," I said, wondering if my anxiety was warranted.
"His name is Claus. He's just a strange guy, that's all."
“But-"
“Hey. is that Bethany?" Elaine said, breaking away from the tight circle the three of us had formed as
she squinted into the distance.
I stepped around her. seeing the faun truck making its way down the hill toward the lake. It wasn't
Bethany who got out of the truck.
It was Xander.
Xander was making his way over to me through the crowd. He was taller than most of the people
surrounding the fire, and I could see his eyes clearing as he closed in on me. He had his usual look of
marked disapproval on his face.
"Great," I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I knew he'd come!" Elaine giggled, nudging my shoulder.
Ben shifted his weight, looking a little uncomfortable as Xander approached. Xander gave Ben a tight
nod in greeting, but barely met his eye before he took me by the elbow and led me a few feet away
where we were out of earshot.
"I thought you didn't want to come." I murmured.
He looked down at me, rolling his eyes as he took what looked like the first deep breath he'd taken in a
while. "I didn't know where the party was. Someone mentioned the lake at dinner."
"So you drove all the way down here to make sure I don't get kidnapped by the beast living in the hills,
right?" I said sarcastically, but Xander didn't answer. He was staring at the same man who'd been
eyeing me and Elaine earlier. "Ben says he knows him-"
"Sure he does," Xander said beneath his breath, narrowing his eyes at the stranger until the man
turned back to his group. Xander crossed his amis over his chest, keeping his eye on the group for
what felt like several minutes. It was starting to make me uncomfortable.
"So, are you here to have a good time, or are you going to continue to wreck the vibe?"
He turned to me, looking down at me with a severe look on his face.
"I'm not wrecking the vibe. Lena."
“What would you call it then?"
He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose like he had a headache, then sighed, reaching out to
take the unopened beer out of my hands. He cracked it open and finished it in two swallows before
tossing it a remarkable distance into the bonfire.
It didn't seem to change his mood, however. He was still looking around, his eyes lined with suspicion.
Something had changed in him over the past twenty-four hours. I'd felt it when I woke up in the
morning, alone, after we'd had s*x. It was like he was pulling away from me.
He'd gotten what he wanted. Maybe that was all it was.
"You okay?" he asked.
I looked up at him. "I'm fine."
He held my gaze for a moment, then looked away, his shoulders going rigid as he looked back over the
crowd.
"Hey!" Elaine said, walking in our direction as she dragged an apprehensive-looking Ben behind her.
"We're going to dance. You should come!"
I looked past her at a large group of people who had started dancing to music coming from one of the
vehicles on the other side of the bonfire, their bodies lit up by the amber light coming off the flames. I
nodded in agreement, glancing over at Xander as he continued to look around.
“What's his problem?" Elaine grumbled as I walked in step with her.
I shrugged. "I don't know, I think this is just what he's like."
"Well, Ben has friends who are fun, and like to dance, so don't let him ruin your night. You have to go
back to Morhan for a bit, I hear? When do you leave?"
"Two days, I think. Henry gives me a different answer every time-" I bit my lip as Elaine squealed,
swept into the crowd of dancers by Ben. I was left standing on the edge of the group, alone.
"Do you want to dance?" Xander said, coming up behind me.
"Do you?"
He looked down at me, and I saw a brief hint of a smile touch his cheek. He offered me my hand, but I
hesitated.
"I'd like to dance with you. Lena." he said, tilting his head as he searched my face.
I took his hand, biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from asking the questions that had been
nagging me all day.
Soon we were in the swell of people, my hands on his shoulders. I felt a little awkward as I moved
against him. I hadn't had many opportunities to dance. I'd taken ballet, but only when I was a child, and
I hadn't been a great student.
"Just move with me," Xander said, leaning down to talk into my ear. "You're stiff."
His breath tickled my skin as he pulled me closer, his hand resting on my lower back. I was instantly
comforted by his touch. I wished I wasn't.
"I had tea at the manor today." I said into his chest, wondering if he could even hear me over the music.
He stiffened a little.
"And?"
"Maxwell was perfectly nice. But... the house is strange. It had to be close to one-hundred degrees in
there. And. he-he has a sister."
"A sister? I thought Henry said Maxwell was the only one living at the manor?"
"Yeah, so did I. But someone was screaming upstairs when I was making my way out. The butler
apologized for it, saying his sister was ill. He shut the door in my face before I could ask any other
questions."
The hand that Xander had pressed against my back tightened a little as his fingers curled into a fist. He
didn't respond, however. Instead, we just moved to the music.
But my feelings were overwhelming me. We hadn't had a chance to talk about the night before. He
hadn't mentioned anything about it.
"Xander," I said, taking a risk and hoping I wouldn't regret it.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm"Yeah?"
“Why didn't you say anything to me this morning-"
"I didn't want to wake you. You were fast asleep when I left for the bunkhouse."
"Oh," I said, wondering once again if he had the ability to read my mind, or if it was just that my heavy
emotions were showing on my face. "Xander I think... maybe we shouldn't do this. This complicates
things-"
"Complicates your field study?"
"Our field-"
"Is that truly all you care about?" he asked, his voice slightly cold.
I winced, trying desperately to organize my thoughts. "I don't know what you want from me."
"I want a lot more of you, Lena."
"That's not possible," I choked. I could feel the tears beginning to well in the comers of my eyes. I hated
that I couldn't tell him the real reason. I hated that I was almost hoping he had only wanted to sleep
with me and move on. It would have made this so. so much easier.
"One day," he began, taking a deep breath, "you're going to open your eyes and realize there's a lot
more for you out there. Lena. For Goddess's sake, aren't you tired of pretending?"
I looked up at him, “What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean. I want you, okay? I want you in my bed tonight. I want you in my bed
the night after that, and after that. Do you understand? Is that enough for you?"
"Xander-"
"Or are you going to continue to lie, and bury your feelings, and focus wholly on a singular area in your
life where you have the utmost control?"
"Wait-"
“Who are you, Lena?" he said, pulling away from me.
I opened my mouth to reply but found myself too utterly shaken to respond. He grabbed my ami. not
hard enough to hurt me, but hard enough to get my attention. He leaned down, his breath tickling my
ear as he spoke. "Do you know why I came here?"
"Because you felt bad about my-"
"No," he growled. "I wanted to know you. I had to. You caught my eye every single Peking day on
campus, and I needed to know—"
"Don't say it," I said calmly, closing my eyes.
This wasn't in my plans. This wasn't what I needed, or wanted, to happen. If he told me he thought I
might be his mate, I'm not sure what I'd do. Slate had told me the same thing, but that had been
different. I hadn't wanted Slate. I hadn't been desperate, and willing, to pave out a future with Slate: my
responsibilities and expectations be damned.
Xander was putting me in an impossible situation. I would break both of our hearts, and I couldn't tell
him why.
"I want to go home," I whispered as tears began to slide down my eyelashes.
He looked down at me, his eyes flaming with frustration. But then he swallowed, his Adam's apple
bobbing as he exhaled.
"Come on," he said, leading me through the crowd and back to the farm truck. "We'll talk about this
when you get back from Morhan."