The Abandoned Empress

I left the empty conference hall. While walking silently, watching the pictures hanging in the hallway, I looked up at him at my side. He looked at me and said, “Do you have anything to say, Lady Monique?”

“Well, if you excuse me, can you tell me what you talked about with my father and Duke Lars a little while ago?”

I was bothered by Duke Lars’s uneasy expression, which was quite unusual. I served him as my boss for about one and a half years, but I’ve never seen him making such a serious look before. After a brief pause, Marquis Enesil smiled awkwardly. It seemed he was embarrassed because he wasn’t ready to leak their conservation yet.

“Well, that was…”

“… ”

“They might not like my telling you, but I think it’s better you know about it as you are directly involved. Even if your father discovers it later, I hope he won’t feel regretful about it.”

“Sure, don’t worry.”

After hesitating a bit, he said calmly, as if he made up his mind.

“Although Duke Lars told your father he should be ready to send you to the imperial family because there was no other choice, your father didn’t agree. So, they had a quarrel.”

“… I see. Thanks for tipping me off.”

I expected the same thing. I already realized that the pro-emperor faction had no other alternative but me to compete with Jiun. I also knew that I could not escape the fate determined through the oath. I knew that no matter how much I hated it, they would try to put me in the position of the crown prince’s wife for their own interests after the year’s grace period.

Can’t I escape this face when I tried so hard? I was consumed by a sense of emptiness that I had forgotten for a moment. An extreme sense of emptiness engulfed me.

“Excuse me. Are you Lady Monique? ”

“… Yes, im. What’s the matter? ”

“The crown prince wants to see you.”

“I see. Got it.”

Why did he ask to see me so earnestly, starting yesterday? What more has he to say when the decision was already made? Do I have to see him? I’m sick and tired of everything right now as my efforts for the past five years almost ended in tears.

‘Well, I have no other choice anyway.’

With a sigh, I walked after the attendant after seeking the marquis’s understanding.

The place where the attendant escorted me was the big lake in the back of the Imperial Palace.

It was the very lake where Jiun was discovered before my return from the past.

The drought drastically reduced its size, but the breeze was still blowing over the lake, which was still very large. Dela flowers blooming in the trees around the lake glowed white in the sunlight.

After bowing to the royal knights standing on guard at the entrance, I stepped in and found a young man with blue hair overlooking the lake.

“I’m honored to see you, the Little Sun of the empire!”

“Oh, hi.”

I paused for a moment, looking at his hand in front of me. I felt awkward as he offered to escort me in a private place like this.

But what does it matter at this point? No matter what I think, I will have no choice but to follow my destiny as already determined.

With my hand on top of his heavy hand, I silently moved as he led. While walking silently along the lake for a while, he stopped suddenly and said coldly, “…Are you okay? ”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

I answered blankly with my gaze fixed on the lake.

Was it because I didn’t sleep properly, or was my heart empty? My whole body felt heavy like wet cotton, and my brain was befogged as if I was wandering in a dream.

“Really? I know you have been on edge for the past several days.”

“… I’m sorry. ”

“Well, I didn’t say that to make you feel sorry, but even now you don’t look good. Anyway, I’m glad to know you are okay.”

“… ”

“Come to think of it, it’s the first time I saw you wearing a formal dress. It looks good on you.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

The sunlight shining on the tranquil water was beautiful. I fixed my gaze on the surface of the dazzling lake.

Suddenly, I felt like I would like to melt away into that bright light. If I was inside that light, I would be able to shine beautifully without any dark darkness or despair.

“I don’t think I expressed gratitude to you properly as I was so busy. Thanks for your caring for the emperor when you were at the summer palace.”

“You’re welcome, Your Majesty.”

“Back then… ”

“… ”

“There was a dispute at the Rose Palace. Jiun, now the duke’s foster daughter, had a quarrel with the duke’s wife.”

“I see.”

As the breeze blew, a white petal fell. It floated on the water of the lake.

I sighed unconsciously, looking at that. I envied the white petal that already melted into the rays of light, leaving no trace.

“As the woman called God’s child quarrelled with the duchess who was in charge of the family affairs, there seemed to be no troubleshooter. When I arrived at the Rose Palace, the chief maid looked pale and explained the details.”

“… Oh, I see.”

“It seems that the maids neglected Jiun, called God’s child, because she had no title. So, Jiun rebuked them, but the duchess found it out and stopped her. So, the two had a quarrel.”

Was it because I kept my eyes fixed on the glittering lake? I heard him saying something to me, but it let in one ear and out the other.

“…Pardon, Your Majesty? ”

Silence fell on us.

Only then did I blink my eyes and look up at him. His navy blue eyes were staring at me.

“Sorry, Your Majesty. As I was so clumsy, I didn’t listen to what you told me.”

“… I was asking you how you would have solved it in that situation. ”

“Ah… ”

Is he asking me how I would put in Jiun’s shoes and deal with the maids if they looked down on me? Hummm, I think I experienced the same thing in the past. How did I react then?

I tried to trace my memory although I still couldn’t think straight, but I couldn’t recall.

The more I struggled, the more I felt spaced out.

“Well, I would…”

“… ”

“If I were in her shoes…”

No matter how much I thought, I couldn’t think of the proper words. When I was hesitating, suddenly I felt myself pulled hard. I was now shrouded with cool fragrance.

‘What is this fragrant scent?’

I blinked slowly. I felt warmth around my body, something cozy and warm.

‘Oh, it’s warm. I think I can fall asleep… ‘

“Please…! ”

“Your Majesty?”

I suddenly came to my senses at somebody’s sudden pull and earnest voice.

‘Whose arms am I held in right now?’

Stunned, I tried to disengage myself with all my might. But the more I twisted my body, the more strongly he pulled my arms.

“Why are you…”

“Your Majesty, please let go of…”

“… Aristia. ”

I stiffened. My eyes opened wide. What did he just say?

Did he call my name a moment ago? He has never called my name before. Does he remember my name?

My heart started beating fast.

The trembling that started at my fingertips spread through my whole body in ripples.

Some strange words were on the tip of my tongue. When I felt his breathing into my ear, I felt creeped out. While I was struggling to disengage from him, I felt all the strength drained out of my body. He whispered, holding me tight, “I’m sorry.”

My whole body stiffened.

His chest I felt through the very thin cloth was wide and hard. It was different from my father’s chest that was comfortable, and Allendis’s that was warm.

Held against his broad chest, I found myself stiff. His whispering lingered in my ears.

Only

He didn’t say sorry just out of politeness or formality, but he was serious. I was astonished by his candid behavior. I even felt dizzy.

“I’m sorry I forced you, even if I know you don’t like it.”

“… Your Majesty.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you properly.”

“… ”

“I wanted to respect your opinion as much as possible, but… this was the best I could do for you.”

Was it because I was held in his arms as closely as possible? Even though his voice wasn’t big, I flinched when I heard something like self-mocking in it. Even though I was absent-minded, I could hear it clearly, something quite different from his typical voice.

My astonishment began to diminish little by little, though.