The Abandoned Empress

“Oh, you are coming to your senses now.”

“… Sorry, Duke Lars.”

“Tut, tut. Why did you attend the meeting? Well, I guess you couldn’t help it as you received the summons…”

“Well, I had to go through this someday.”

“… I’m sorry. That’s all I can say to you now.”

I blankly looked at him who apologized to me with a sigh. Although I got upset, I didn’t want to speak with him or any other pro-emperor faction member.

When I stood silently with my lips closed tightly, the chamberlain of the Central Palace came to me and said with a deep bow, “His Excellency the Emperor wants to see you briefly.”

“… ”

I sighed in spite of myself. I was eager to ignore his request and go home for rest. On the other hand, I felt it would be better to conclude the matter completely on this occasion.

“Whew!”

With a deep sigh, I moved my sagging body and followed him.

When I entered the meeting room, the emperor, who was pacing up and down nervously, said in an urgent voice, “Are you okay? That’s why I asked you not to come to the meeting…”

“Your Majesty, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“… Aristia. ”

“Please break off your engagement with me.”

A cold silence fell.

The longer I stood silently, the more subdued my feelings became. When I could now think straight, I felt anger was surging up again. My clenched fists trembled.

How could they dare to spit out such reckless words to the daughter of the Monique family, one of the empire’s founding families as well as one of the most precious families? How could they insult me, not an ordinary commoner, by treating the successor of a great noble family as a stallion?

“… Why are you saying that?”

“Don’t you already know? I am a woman who does not deserve to stand by you, Your Majesty. ”

“That’s not true. You are…”

“Your Majesty.”

“… ”

“They called me an infertile woman.”

I threw out the insulting words that they spat out one by one. I felt something hot and moist between my fingers. However, I was much more disillusioned with myself who couldn’t refute their unbearable insult than my pain.

“No, you are not. Why are you hurting yourself by saying that?”

“… ”

“The High Priest clearly said he could not say conclusively. So, don’t jump to any conclusions.”

“Well, I am already an infertile woman in their eyes. What else do I need?”

I just felt pitiable about myself. Didn’t I clearly hear that I might be infertile? Given that there was nothing as cold as politics, I should not have expected that the pro-emperor faction would defend me, to say the least. Besides, I was aware that they had abandoned me once in the past.

Even if the emperor, my father, and the late emperor took this issue calmly, it was too complacent for me to think that everybody would still believe I could get pregnant. I was simply too stupid.

My hatred of the noble faction wasn’t strong because they reminded me of the cold reality that I might be infertile. If I had not acted stupidly, I would have easily predicted their reaction. I felt more betrayal against the pro-emperor faction. Instead of refuting the noble faction who called me an infertile woman, the pro-emperor faction shunned my eyes, which made me deeply disillusioned with them.

Yes, even Duke Lars didn’t respond at all when they attacked me.

“Let me solve the matter, so you can…”

“No, you should not.”

“Aristia!”

“Don’t you know that? Immediately after you are sworn in as the next emperor, political chaos will follow. So, you must rally your own supporting groups and make those loyal to the late emperor your loyal vassals. You know better than anybody else that any political chaos will put you into big trouble.”

Although I forgot for a moment because I was absent-minded, I did come to the meeting to ask for the emperor’s breakup of our engagement

Besides, if I didn’t break up the engagement now, the noble faction would certainly install me as the emperor’s concubine to deny Grace any chance. Even if Grace were allowed to be a mere concubine for the emperor and gave birth to a baby, the baby would not dare to threaten Jiun’s baby because there was a big difference between the empress’s baby and a concubine’s.

According to Marquis Ensil, some of the pro-emperor’s faction were supporting me as the empress while others were arguing that they should give me up and support Grace as the emperor’s concubine instead. If something went wrong, there was a possibility that even the Whir family or those supporting the Whir family would turn against the pro-emperor faction. At a time when the noble faction was going on the offensive for more power, any confusion or division inside the pro-emperor faction who should be united around the emperor would bring about enormous political repercussions.

“I’m ready to stand up to their resistance to make you my woman.”

“…Why are you saying that?”

“I can’t deny what you said, but I’m not stupid enough to run as the puppet emperor. It will take a little more time for me to solidify my position.”

“Your Majesty, I don’t want that. Do I need to repeat it? They call me an infertile woman.”

I felt a little sad. Was he really caring about me strong enough to hold on to me?

I broke into an empty smile.

I wish I had vehemently declared that I did not intend to be the empress, regardless of the political interests of the pro-emperor faction. If so, I wouldn’t have been insulted like this.

I was stupid because I thought I couldn’t refuse the late emperor’s will because of my father’s loyalty to him through an oath of blood. Even the late emperor would not have given up on the Monique family easily unless my father had committed treason. In fact, the late emperor did his best to hold me, but he didn’t force me under any circumstances.

“…Aristia. ”

“When I was foolish enough not to know I was poisoned, my bondage with you was already broken off. Even if you reconnect it, it can’t be whole.”

“Please don’t say so.”

As I faced him up close, who was looking at me eagerly, I became more sober about my judgment.

If I reached out to him now, he would definitely hold me. He would protect me from them offending my pride any further, though I was already offended as a great noble. As a woman and the wife of a man, I couldn’t lead a life like that.

I felt the only way for me to protect my last pride was to conclude this matter at this point.

And I attended this meeting to break up my engagement with him.

“Didn’t you promise to me that you would honor my intention with respect to my engagement?”

“… ”

“That’s why I’m saying now. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be tied with the imperial family. So, please break off your engagement with me. ”

“…You have not come of age yet.”

“Your Majesty.”

I swallowed a sigh. I was sorry for him, but I had to solve this matter today.

“I’m really sorry, but I would have changed my mind a long time ago if you expect I would change my mind in the next several months.”

“Oh my…”

He now made a desperate but hopeless expression. My heart ached when I noticed his offended look, but I kept up my determined attitude.

His navy blue eyes were reflecting his mixed feelings. Surprise, embarrassment, sadness, and regret. Looking at me vacantly for a long time, he said with a deep sigh, “… I know what you mean. ”

“… ”

Only

“Go back and take a break. Let me think about it.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Aristia, please give me some time to think about it. Why are you pushing me to decide so suddenly?”

“… Okay. Then I will leave now.”

Saying goodbye to him, I got out of the meeting room where he was standing alone blankly.

Suddenly, I felt like I was throwing up.

I just felt pathetic about myself. How hard I tried to promote the interests of the pro-emperor faction by making all possible sacrifices? Even though I made all my efforts and devoted myself to them, I was dumped by them at the end of the day. I was totally used after playing into their hands.

I was like a fool. What and who did I trust? They already deserted me and my family even before my return. Even though they raised me as the next empress, they didn’t protect me. Besides, they actively installed me as the emperor’s concubine despite my strong opposition. Moreover, nobody helped when my family was eradicated.