The Chronicles of the Immortal God

As Fang Lin looked down, he saw the sprawling territory of one of the Divine Families. The Feng Clan was situated on the Southern Desert, where strong winds travel all throughout the year. He expected to see huge tents but what greeted his eyes were huge immortal palaces with lush greenery around it.

“They made an oasis in the desert… Such are the prowess of rich families!” Wang Hao exclaimed.

Their ship then descended on the southern part of the clan where other clan members started to show up. They all cheered out once they saw Daoist Sunderheart and Ning’er appear. But they then started to quiet down when they saw Fang Lin, Fang Yu and Wang Hao. Some of them looked curiously, others with malicious intent. Most did not care and just ignored these three who were savages in their opinion. Fang Lin felt that most of the boys were ogling at Fang Yu. He of course hated it.

“Welcome back Elder Feng Zun! I assume you found everything needed for your wife?” A slightly obese man approached them. “It’s a fatty!!!!” Wang Hao, Fang Lin and Fang Yu exclaimed at the same time. The fatty stopped and stared at them and asked the daoist, who’s real name is Feng Zun with a smile. “Who are these young friends of yours?”

“Ah… they are some people my daughter found on the Mystical Forest. They helped my daughter find the Blood Lotus. As a thanks I brought them here and I am planning to enlist them in the Immortal God Sect.”

“Immortal God Sect?” The fatty looked at them and said “You may have talent but you must learn to respect the elders!” Formless pressure erupted from his body, forcing the trio to land face-first in the ground. The crowd laughed hysterically upon seeing it. Feng Zun waved his hand and the pressure disappeared. “I think that’s enough” He said gravely. “It’s one thing for me to be looked down, but do not disrespect my guests!”

He swished his hand and took his daughter and the poor trio towards his quarters.

“I think there is a huge thing happening in this clan right now.” Wang Hao muttered sullenly.

Fang Lin then paled and said “Do you think we are going to be assassinated because we called that fatty a fatty?”

Wang Hao shrugged his shoulders, also quite unsure.

Feng Zun stopped and looked at them. “First things first, that fatty has a name. He is Elder Feng Lu. Do try to remember that.” The trio nodded rapidly, like chicks eating some rice grains.

Feng Zun’s expression darkened as he said,

“What you did earlier was stupid and idiotic. Look where it all landed you! Please refrain from doing these stupid things at the moment. Our clan is under a state of unrest which I cannot explain right now.” For that comment, the trio had not reply.

“As for now, you three will stay in this room.” He motioned them into another room with three beds.

“Fang Yu will obviously stay with you two.” Ning’er flushed after hearing that. She was clearly still embarrassed by her bold actions earlier.

“I will meet up with you three after my wife is healed.” He then left with Ning’er following behind him.

“Do you know what we need to do now?” Wang Hao smiled mischievously. “We need to do two things!”

“What two things?”

“First, we need to find a pet for both of your personas”

“Pets?” Fang Lin knew that pets were animal companions that joins a practitioner on his/her adventures. It will be much preferable if those pets have powerful abilities that can assist him/her.

“Yes, what you two should have were pets with those extremely powerful abilities. It’s much preferable if they were entrusted to us by a dying parent. It will give the pets a tragic backstory.”

“What help can a pet give to me?”

“What help? Well it can help you fight as long as you force-feed it with cultivation resources. But many people might try to kill you just to get your pets.”

“Ughh, what’s the second thing master?” Fang Lin put the matter of the pets at the back of his mind, since they clearly have no time yet to fulfill it now.

“Haha, we need to explore and find a clear river!”

“For what master? Do we need it for drinking?”

“No! Did you know that the most beautiful maidens could be found taking a bath on these clear rivers? Let’s venture out now to see them!”

“But the daoist said that we should behave!”

“Haha do not worry!” Wang Hao waved his hands and said, “You can just change your face with your perfectly refined body right now. And even if we are detected, I have my own escape techniques and you can just leave Fang Yu in this room and just fuse with her to escape. Don’t you want to see some real legitimate nudes?”

Of course the loyal Fang Lin followed his Master’s teachings.

They followed the river meandering past their residence and slowly followed it upstream while walking stealthily. After an hour of walking they heard a multitude of voices. “Here we go Fang Lin, this is your ticket to maturity!” They then approached the source of the sounds and hid behind the bushes. They raised there heads above the bushes, hearts palpitating with excitement.

What they saw was otherworldly.

10 ferocious looking men frolicked in the riverbank, expertly flexing their muscles against the glistening river. Their muscles were like steel cords strewn together with an expert hand. Multiple scars ran throughout there bodies with some reaching their faces. Strewn around the riverbank were scattered pieces of obviously heavy armor. Their man bits hung proudly, and the two voyeurs could see that they are being dwarfed in that section.

“Ah… ahh…” Wang Hao with his ashen face looked at Fang Lin and said, “We need to go now, or else they might find us and possibly make us drop the soap!”[1]

But before they could use their escape mechanisms, they felt that their shoulders were being held strongly. They looked back and they saw the largest man of those 10 looking at them strangely.

“Are you here for some fun?”

[1] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Google it