The Duke's Passion

Chapter 155 - This Is Nothing

The walls in my chambers witnessed how I broke down that night. I cried my heart out as I soaked the pillow with tears.

It angered me to the core that vampires were far too superior to humans. They were gifted with abilities and strength, only to use it for their personal interest, while humans had to succumb to fear before them.

Meeting Stefan shredded my heart, my beliefs, and my hopes into many pieces. There's no more faith to put in this kingdom reigned by him.

He had blown away the little fire I had for this kingdom's growth. The little faith and hope that someday this kingdom would care for its subject — regardless of their race — vanished, just like that.

"This is the 18th time you stepped on my foot." I snapped back to the current lapse upon hearing Yulis' toneless complaint. "Stop spacing out."

"Oh." I bit my lower lip out of habit, taking foot my away from his feet. "Sorry."

"We'll take a short break for. You don't look good." He said, letting me go as he took three steps away.

I watched Yulis gestured and ordered Mildred to bring us tea and snacks. It surprised me a little — but not to the extent of disbelief — when he came in here, informing me he was the instructor Silvia sent for the dance lessons.

"What are you doing?" Yulis arched his brow, sitting on the chair around the round table near the window.

He crossed his arm, resting his leg over the other as he cocked his head towards the seat across from him. I nodded and strode towards the seat, perching in silence.

"I heard you're attending the debut of the eldest daughter of the Thornhart," Yulis uttered, breaking the silence which made me gazed at him.

His expression and tone remained indifferent, but I didn't expect him to start a conversation with me. What did he want?

"Sivi gave me an invitation," I answered calmly, easing my tensed shoulders as I rested my fist on my lap.

"Don't go there." He advised, so classic of him.

"Why not?" I replied with disinterest. "If you don't want me to attend, why did you come here to teach me how to dance?"

My eyelashes fluttered ever so slowly. Keeping myself calm despite the pressuring gaze of his deep azure eyes.

Yulis tilted his head to the side, arching his brow before he spoke in a knowing tone. "You're tossing yourself in a banquet full of vampires."

"Pfft—" A snort immediately escaped from me. "Is it any different from my current situation, your highness?"

Yulis frowned as his eyes dropped. He didn't reply immediately as he stared at me in silence.

"I appreciate your concern, your highness. I won't embarrass her royal highness if that's your concern," I said, upon receiving no response from him.

"That's not it. I'm just saying anything can happen in a banquet as large as that one. We're more restrained compared to those greedy nobles." He explained calmly.

"Even so, I can still lose my life within the palace walls if I didn't act accordingly." I argued, expressing my thoughts calmly but not warmly.

Yulis frowned even more as he stared at me straight in the eye. "It's still safer here."

"Safer? Are you saying if I press a nerve… or cut myself to bleed right now, I'd still be safe?"

Silence dawn upon us once again until Mildred came back with the tea and snacks.

"I brought the tea and snacks for his highness and the lady," Mildred announced politely, before she started serving the tea.

As the servants helped set up the table, Yulis and I stared at each other. When the servants were done, they stepped away, standing in the corner without saying a single word.

"I'm aware that your highness dislikes me," I muttered, stretching my arm as I picked up the cup of tea. "But I'm a little confused that what you said just now contradicts the first words you told me yesterday."

My eyes sharpened as I held his gaze before I took a sip. I didn't have a death wish, but it was better to speak my mind since he didn't he had an interest in murdering me right now.

Yulis extended his arm, picking up the teacup to his lips. "Why?" He asked in a low tone instead of giving me an answer.

"I'm fairly lacking in many areas, your highness. So, forgive me if I don't understand your vague question," I expressed as I placed the teacup back on the saucer.

"I'm asking you, why are you still here? Is being tormented every time you breathe in this place better than dying?"

My breath hitched upon his question, but my exterior remained the same. I pursed my lips and sighed faintly.

"Well, of course," I replied calmly, moving my gaze towards the window.

Breathing in this place was a constant reminder of what I promised myself last night. If I'm dead, I wouldn't do anything, would I?

I kept my thoughts to myself as I set my eyes back to him. The corner of my lips curled into a subtle smile.

"I've gone through worse, your highness. Back when I was living the life of a peasant, I used to stare at the sky with my mouth open, hoping that it would rain so I can drink. The thought of hugging myself wearing nothing but rags during winter, eating rotten foods to fill my stomach, and…" I paused as I gulped down.

Yulis was listening in silence. He might not relate to me, nor would I get a shred of his sympathy from him, but he had to understand. I've been through worse.

"… and sleeping beside the rotting corpse of my father because I couldn't bury him. I lived through it, your highness. So, thank you for your concern, but this is nothing compared to that."

My grip on my skirt tightened before it loosened, eventually. My shoulder also eased as I exhaled deeply.

At one point in my life, I had gone through all that. If not for the people in the field, hearing about the passing of my father, he wouldn't get buried properly.

"I… see." He muttered under his breath, nodding as he picked up the teacup, took little sips, then put it back on the saucer. "That sounds tragic."

"It's all in the past now, your highness." I smiled subtly. "Now, I get to eat to my heart's content, share a tea with your highness, and experience more life can offer."

"No wonder you eat well," Yulis commented as he gazed at me intensely.

When I felt awkward at his long stares, I raised my brows. "Your highness?"

Yulis fluttered his eyelashes ever so slowly and asked tonelessly, "Do you want me to give you Hanz's head to make you feel better?"

"Pardon?"