The Hitting Zone

"Breathe, Jake! Breathe!" Kyle ordered.

I leaned into him, forcing him to hold most of my body weight. I took deep breaths. Kyle smelled like his deodorant, sweat, and fresh cut grass.

"What's going on?" Noah had come all the way back for us, realizing something was wrong.

"He's having a panic attack." Kyle stressed. "What do we do? Where's Dad?"

"Okay, don't panic with him." Noah told Kyle. He bent his knees a little to look me in the eyes, watching me take deep breaths. "He's still conscious. That's good."

I suddenly bent over and threw up a bit of my breakfast. I almost face-planted but Kyle was still holding me up.

"That's not good." Noah changed his opinion.

I eyed my vomit and saw that some got on Noah's shoes. I coughed and spat out some more residue.

"What do we do now??"

"Hey, isn't that Jake?"

"What's going on?"

"Kyle? Noah? What's wrong?"

"Is he sick? Should I get Coach?"

"Mr. Miller is right behind us."

"Here give him some water."

So many voices. So many pairs of feet surrounding me.

"I'm here." A deep voice cut through. "Give him some space, boys."

"I can't let go of him, Dad." Kyle told him. "He's becoming deadweight."

"It's okay. I've got him." Thicker arms took over. "Jake, I'm going to move you more out of the way, okay? Are you done throwing up?"

"Is everyone looking at me?" I put my hands on my knees, feeling uncomfortable.

"Everyone is a bit of an exaggeration." Dad rubbed my back.

I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No reason for you to be sorry." Dad comforted me.

"Everyone was happy. Celebrating. And now..." I trailed off.

"Now they're just worried about their friend and teammate." Dad added. "As soon as you stand up straight and show them that you're fine, they'll be relieved. Not mad."

I used the back of my hand to wipe my spit on my lips. I did my best to straighten up. With Dad's help, I could look at my teammates. Most of them had gathered around, making it seem like we were having a team meeting. It blocked off a lot of strangers from my view.

I swallowed and nearly gagged. Gross. I still have a gross mouth.

"Here." Garret was the one to hand me an already opened bottle of water. "Use this to rinse your mouth."

I nodded my thanks. I took a small sip and swished it around before spitting it out. I tried to give the bottle back.

"Keep it." He told me. "You're not looking so hot."

"I'll hold it for you." Kyle took over, noticing that my hands were still shakey.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I'm okay. I just need-" I paused. I didn't know what I needed.

"How about you go rest?" Mr. Miller offered. He was the only coach around so he had some authority over everyone else. "We still have another game. Rest up. Get some electrolytes in you. Maybe checked out by the trainer." He looked around. "The rest of us should meet up with Coach and have our postgame meeting."

"And just leave Jake?"

"Doesn't that feel wrong?"

"Why don't we bring him to Coach?"

"Because," Coach showed up on the fringes. "As your Coach, I know my players. Jake doesn't want you guys hanging around. Let him clean up and recover. We'll talk over the game, discuss potential next opponent, and maybe what we should eat between now and our next game." He looked at me, then at Dad.

"I've got him, Coach." Dad said. He looked at Noah. "As one of the leaders of the team, don't you know what to do?"

Noah's lips twisted.

"Really. It's nothing. An overreaction." I mumbled. "Caught off guard."

Noah clenched his jaw, but nodded. "Alright. You go with Dad." He raised his voice when facing the team. "Come on, come on. Let's go talk about how I won us this game."

"Yea, right." Garret scoffed. "Your effort was admirable but I'm the one who finished it. Both ways."

I relaxed as they moved away from me.

"Can I help you to the restroom?" Dad asked. "Or we can go to the parking lot?" He tried naming a few places that didn't seem to have so many people around.

"Parking lot. Car." I answered.

Dad helped me, keeping me close and taking on most of my body weight. I'm positive he would carry me if I asked. But that would be embarrassing and childish.

In the parking lot, I could breathe a little easier. Dad took me to our car, opened the passenger side door and let me sit down. "Okay. Want to talk about it now? Or need a minute to process?"

I shrugged weakly. "I don't know what wrong with me. It was just a momentary freak out." I coughed a little. "I was just so surprised."

"Surprised by what?"

Oh. That's right. He didn't see what I saw. "Jeremy's cousin."

"Jeremy's cousin?" Dad was taken aback. Confused, he took a minute to process as well. "I'm sorry. You'll have to help me out here. What is it about him has to do with this-oh. Ahh." Dad caught on. "He's here."

I nodded once.

"That is surprising. What a small world." We stayed there in silence before Dad spoke again. "You don't think Jeremy knew, did you?"

"I told him we were invited to this tournament." I said, starting to feel a little frustrated. A little mad. "He said 'good luck' so I know he saw that message. He acknowledged it. Why? Why wouldn't he warn me?" I gulped as a scarier thought came to mind. "You don't think that their dad is here, do you?" I started to feel my heartbeat again.

"Breathe, Jake, Breathe." Dad started to mimic taking deep breaths and letting it out slowly.

I did my best but I was feeling a little sick again. My stomach was cramping. "I think I'm going to be sick again." I scooted to the edge so I could lean over the outside of the car.

"Jake. Jake. It's okay. He's just a person. Like any other stranger on the street." Dad held my shoulders.

"NO! No! He's not just a stranger." I felt my eyes start to water. "He left me with her. Don't you get it? He knew she was dangerous and left me."

Dad pulled me into his arms, hugging me as I started to cry. "Okay, I know. I know it hurts. I know you're scared."

That's how Mom and Zeke found us. Me, crying into Dad's shirt, and Dad doing his best to calm me down.

"Oh good. You found us." Dad looked at Zeke. "You need to get back to school now?"

Zeke looked between us. "I can catch an Uber or something. Maybe call Rhys to come get me. I'm not that far."

"No. It's perfect." Dad said. "Jake doesn't want to be here and could use some distance. The drive to Stanford could do him some good. Give him a chance to reset."

Mom stepped closer. "What's going on?"

"I'll explain later." Dad took out the keys and handed them to Zeke. "You drive." He looked at Mom. "Do you have your wallet? You should probably plan to have lunch with the other three without us. Maybe treat the whole team."

"Of course!" Mom reached and rubbed my arm. "It's okay, Jake. You take as long as you need. When things start to feel tough, just know we're on your side. No matter what."

"Even if I dont want to come back here?" I asked quietly.

"Our hotel is just around the corner." Mom gave me a reassuring smile. "No one would be upset if you can't play anymore."

She was lying. But it was a good kind of lie. One that I needed to hear.