The Immortal Emperor Returns

Chapter 322 Childish Fisticuffs

“What about the rest of you? Got nothing to do?” Chu Xun asked everyone else – the other disciples and students of the Palace.

Everyone hung their heads over their shoulders like frightened little chicks.

“I’ll forgive just this once. Remember, the Palace does not keep useless filth,” declared Chu Xun sternly.

He wanted the Chu Mansion to rise up as a dominant force, and that included the Fire Dragon Palace. But it could never be done with just him alone doing all the work.

“From this day onwards, anyone whose levels of magical cultivation are stalling can just pack up and leave.”

“GO, LEI BAO! GO!”

“HIT HIM, YU CHENG! HIT HIM!”

The sounds of the two men still squawking their cheers loudly above the dais would have been funny and hilarious at other times but this. At this moment, no one could even manage a chuckle.

“LOUDER!” shouted Chu Xun at Long Ao and Yan Chong, “Where’s the intensity and fervor I saw just now when you’re screaming your heads off?!”

The latter both felt a jolt lancing through them; Chu Xun looked really angry this time.

With another bark, Chu Xun sent everyone else away and the students hastily returned to their training and studies.

Despondent, Yu Cheng and Lei Bao dragged their feet away. Carrying pails and clothes, so began their long and grueling sentence of cleaning more than ten thousand square meters worth of the Palace’s floors.

“This is all your bloody fault, you idiot. Who Zhitong falls in love with, that’s her choice. As if she’d fall for you if you can defeat me,” grumbled Yu Cheng.

“Shuddup you,” snarled Lei Bao, “How dare you sprout nonsense after stealing my woman! Zhitong would have been mine if not for you!” hissed Lei Bao.

“Dream on, you daft git. You’ve known each other for so long even before I entered the picture. She would have accepted you if she has been fond of you. As if I even need to steal your woman…” scowled Yu Cheng with disdain.

“Yu Cheng, you louching skirt-chaser...” hissed Lei Bao.

“Skirt-chaser?!” Yu Cheng’s nostrils flared with indignance, “For Heaven’s sake, you speak as if I stick myself in between you and Zhitong! Look at yourself for crying out loud. Your appearance is hideous enough with that disgusting bush of a beard you have there!”

“Yeah, and you think you look good, do you?!” Lei Bao hissed, gnashing his teeth, “Look at yourself. With your age, you look like a clown pretending to look young and dashing! ‘Young and dashing’ doesn’t suit you, fool! It suits Master, not you!”

“Angered at being called ‘a clown’, Yu Cheng narrowed his eyes, glaring at Lei Bao, “I might not be as young and dashing as the Master, but I’m definitely better than a brute like you!”

“You know nothing of the sort! My beard is trimmed to mimic Guan Yu! They don’t call him ‘the Peerless Beard’ for nothing!”

“Peerless Beard?! That description might fit Guan Yu’s long lush beard, but not you! Look at yours! A ball of straw! One might think that’s pubic hair growing at the wrong place!” retorted Yu Cheng with venom.

“WHAT?!”

Angered beyond wits, Lei Bao hurled the water he was just using to wipe some tables and drenched Yu Cheng like a soaked cat.

That filled Yu Cheng with rage who grabbed at the pail of water he was using to clean some windows and upended its contents over Lei Bao.

“You’re looking for a fight, aren’t you?!” bellowed Lei Bao.

“So what if I am?! You think I’m afraid of you?!”

With a quick swipe to get the dirty water off his face, Lei Bao lunged. But with their magical powers sealed by Chu Xun, it turned into childish fisticuffs and both men got intertwined in a nasty blur of punching fists and grappling limbs.

Finally, the quick brawl ended with Lei Bao emerging victorious all thanks to his stronger physique and Yu Cheng badly-beaten with swells and bruises all over him.

Tired from their exertions, the two men lay spread-eagle on the floor to take a breather.

“Moron, look at us, wasting our breaths fighting when we should be finishing our work,” Yu Cheng groaned, rubbing a swollen bruise.

“You’re the moron here. In fact, you’re so weak that I’m wondering if you’re sexually dysfunctional.”

“And you’re a brawny oaf with half a pea for a brain.”

“Feeble like a chicken, weak as a cat, and with strength of a blade of grass.”

Their infantile tiff quickly escalated into another internecine tussle.

Meanwhile, at the top of the dais of the parade square, Yan Chong and Long Ao were beginning to feel the strain of shouting at their loudest while not being able to use magic.

“HIT HIM, YU CHENG... Dammit, I’m beginning to feel like an idiot,” muttered Long Ao halfway.

“GO, LEI BAO! GO... You’re the idiot here. One might think that with your age, you would have spoken with more dignity and respect instead of the disgusting bile you sprout.”

“HIT HIM, YU CHENG... Shuddup, you! We would not be in this quandary if not for you!”

“GO, LEI BAO... Didn’t you say you’re close with Chu Xun?! What’s wrong now?!”

“HIT HIM, YU CHENG... Are you daft?! Chu Xun can’t do favor me just now, not with so many eyes watching him. In short, you’re the idiot who dragged me down into this mess.”

“Shut it, you old senile. You’re the idiot here.”

“You’re the idiot.”

“Are you picking a fight?”

“As if the likes of you is strong enough to beat me. Even with such a bag of old bones like mine, I only need to lift a finger to flatten you.”

Bang!

Long Ao pounced and thrust a fist into Yan Chong’s face.

“You dare strike me, you old fool?!” Yan Chong quickly delivered a kick to send Long Ao careening elsewhere.

And thus the two men wound up flinging punches at each other in another inane fistfight.

Night came as quickly as the blink of an eye and the silvery orb of the moon hung in the dark, star-studded backdrop.

“Gods, I can go no further. I’m so thirsty that I can drink this pail of water I just used to wipe the table,” panted Yu Cheng.

“Me too, dammit,” wheezed an equally exhausted and parched Lei Bao.

“How much more do we still have to clean?” asked Yu Cheng.

“I’d say we’re almost at the end. We just need to sweep the floors. Not much – just ten thousand square meters, I say,” chuffed Lei Bao.

“Gods be good, just kill me and be done with it,” groaned Yu Cheng as he rolled on the floor and laid still, “I need a rest.”

“That makes the two of us.”

It did not take long for the brief silence to be broken by a couple of snores as the two men fell asleep.

On the other hand, outside in the parade square, Long Ao wavered like a tree about to fall. His lips were so arid that they began to crack and he was so thirsty that his spittle was like a string as he continued crying raspily, “Hit him, Yu Cheng.”

Hardly any better, Yan Chong, looking absolutely disheveled with his voice coarse and rough, “Go, Lei Bao.”

“Gods, I can’t go on,” Long Ao complained, “My throats are burning that I swear I see fumes coming out.”

“Me too. I can shoot flames from my mouth.”

“If you need some water. I’m sure my piss can be of service.”

“Damn your piss, you old senile. Gods, so many stars above…”

“Plop!” Long Ao crumbled to the floor and he could no longer get up.

“Get up, quick! Don’t let the Master see you!”

“Chu Xun should be training by now. Just let me take a breather. I swear I’ll die if I don’t sit.”

“Gods, I’ll sit too. I can’t even feel my legs anymore.”

The two men stretched themselves on the cold, hard stone of the dais with all dignity forgotten and dozed off.

Not far away, watching them from the shadows were Chu Xun and Yan Wushuang.

“Don’t you feel it a tad too harsh?” asked Yan Wushuang. With their magic sealed, Lei Bao and the others were no different from ordinary people.

“They need a lasting reminder. They’ve been dawdling and lazing around too comfortably.”

Yan Wushuang could find nothing to object to. He could still see the blood and sweat soaked robes clinging to Chu Xun’s back when he was struggling all way up the giant rock during the exploration of the ruins of Kunlun Mountain.

“With the anomalies now happening everywhere and the chaos that will undoubtedly come one day, I only want them all to have the power and strength to defend themselves,” said Chu Xun.

“Let’s just hope they understand that it’s all for their own good,” said Yan Wushuang.

“What about you, Bratty Yan?” Chu Xun turned his focus to his friend and guest, “Are you interested in joining the Chu Mansion?”

Yan Wushuang stared at him, dumbstruck. “But I’m the future heir to the Yan Family,” he shook his head and said, “I cannot be a vassal to someone else.”

“Humph,” snorted Chu Xun, knowing full well that he’d decline. “I’m just joking. What makes you think I want a soft and delicate good-for-nothing like you.”

For more than an hour they stood in the darkness.

Finally, Chu Xun flicked a finger and several tendrils of Reincarnation Lines shot forth.

Crack! Crack!

Two loud snaps like the sharp crack of whips resounded in the darkness.

Long Ao and Yan Chong sprang up from the floor, each clutching at their arses as if something had bitten their hindparts.

“Slack off again and I’ll double your sentence.”

Chu Xun’s voice rumbled in their minds and his message was enough to have them both panicking. “DOUBLE?! IS HE TRYING TO KILL US?!”

“GO, LEI BAO! GO!”

“HIT HIM, YU CHENG! HIT HIM!”

“You should be calling him Senior Yu Cheng.”

“Dammit, mind your own business.”

And the two renewed their incessant bicker again.

Deep inside the recesses of the Palace’s halls, the same pair of loud and sharp cracks echoed loudly.

Lei Bao and Yu Cheng immediately sprang up from the floor like a pair of ferrets.

Clatter!

Lei Bao leaped up so brashly that his head hit the table and the basin of water he had been wiping the table flipped over and splashed on his head, and what sleepiness he once had was gone.

Chu Xun gave them the warning too.

On that note, the two men immediately continued their toil.

“I bet that basin of water is tasty, eh?” Yu Cheng could not resist teasing upon seeing Lei Bao drenched like a chicken caught in a rain.

“You’re asking for a good walloping, aren’t you?” Lei Bao rubbed his hands eagerly.

“As if I don’t have work to do, you daft oaf,” hissed Yu Cheng falteringly.

The four men never again slacked off until the next morning.

The weather was a spread of gloomy low dark clouds and the air was fetid and stale.

Rumble!

Bolts of lightning flashed amongst the dark plumes of cumulonimbi hanging overhead with rolls of thunder sweeping over the skies.

At the center of the parade square, Long Ao and Yan Chong could not even stand still. In fact, they looked as if they were going to collapse any moment.

Humans can survive up to three days without water. But with both of them never stopped shouting, not miscounting that they even paused halfway to fight, the men were so severely dehydrated that they could go on no longer.

The thunder-filled dark clouds slowly filling the sky was a welcoming sight to them, that they nearly plopped to their knees with thanks.

“Thank Heavens, please! Please rain!” Long Ao begged.

Croaking through chapped lips, Yan Chong begged too, “Please, Heaven, have pity on us! Please... Rain your sweet nectar on our poor souls...”

Long Ao rolled his eyes at that. “Even in such dire straits, this fool still has much piffle to sprout.”

Meanwhile, Yu Cheng and Lei Bao, both clutching a broom, were still busy at work. One so dusty and disheveled that he looked like a beggar while the other so badly bruised like a thief who was caught and beaten up.

Plop!

Lei Bao fell to his knees, his pride and ego all gone, and flung out his arms wide. “Gods, Heavens, please! Let there be rain! The bigger the better!”

With hardly any interest to mock him, Yu Cheng knelt down too and begged, “Please, Heavens! Let there be rain!”

And so their prayers were answered.

Splash!

A strong deluge came pouring from the sky like a broken dam.

“Thank the gods!”

Like a pack of street urchins in frenzy, the four grown-up men were leaping and hopping around with unbridled elation to welcome the rain.

“Gods, I love you all, Gods, like a mouse and its cheese!”

“The gods have bestowed us water! We did not demand for this!”

Long Ao and Yan Chong opened their mouths wide to drink in the rainwater. Never had they tasted anything so sweet. Sweeter than their first love, in fact, although they might barely remember their first taste of infatuation.

“Rain! Let it come stronger!” Yu Cheng and Lei Bao were dancing in the rain.

“The rain is helping us to wash away the dirt! The gods are helping us! We don’t have to worry about cheating!”

Lei Bao tossed aside the broom he was holding and he threw his head back and bellowed, “I’M NEVER EVER GONNA HOLD A BROOM AGAIN!”

“I have had enough cleaning to last a lifetime. That’s enough for me for the rest of my life,” cried Yu Cheng too, chucking aside his broom.

“No more ‘Go, Lei Bao’. I’ve had enough of that for several lifetimes!”

“And from this day, I’ll never ever have ‘Hit him, Yu Cheng’ in my vocabulary again!”

Yan Chong and Long Ao vowed loudly in the rain.