The Inconceivable Flame: A Fallen Angel's Disguise

There was no discernible alteration in Ru’s countenance but Xiao Zhi-Yuan had seen the way her hand went up against her chest. He squinted his eyes but didn’t speak.

"Why are you sitting here? There are plenty of other seats available," Ru pointed out after her senses recovered a bit.

Xiao shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as he replied, "I don’t want to sit anywhere else."

"Here’s your bowl of ramen," the cute girl’s voice rang out as she placed the piping hot bowl of ramens before Ru and smiled radiantly.

The aroma of ramens was tantalizing making Ru’s unduly zestful stomach to growl. It was a good thing that nobody heard the growls of her stomach.

She picked her chopsticks elegantly. Like a Persian cat, she began to eat languidly and yet with sophistication. To Xiao Zhi-Yuan, the person before him appeared to be indecipherable. Ru’s exquisite table manners and etiquettes reminded him of the time when his own etiquette teacher used to scold him all the time for hurrying over everything.

He never thought that mere seeing someone eating ramen could be this fascinating.

Supporting the side of his face on his knuckles, Xiao Zhi-Yuan kept his eyes on Ru. He was amazed that his staring didn’t even bother her at all. For Ru, he was like the background of a scene that she didn’t need to focus on with the lens of her eyes. Her only focus was the bowl of ramens that was more appealing and rather more appetizing.

"Do you have friends?" Xiao Zhi-Yuan asked out of the blue with his clear phoenix-like eyes peering at her green ones.

Ru calmly wiped the sides of her mouth with a napkin and lifted her eyes to gaze into Xiao Zhi-Yuan’s eyes. "No, I don’t keep friends."

Xiao Zhi-Yuan knitted his brows confoundedly, "Why not?"

Ru slapped a few bills on the table before standing up to leave. She stood by Xiao Zhi-Yuan’s chair and placed her hand over his shoulder saying, "Because in the end. those friends would be standing before you to call you a monster without hesitation."

Xiao Zhi-Yuan was startled by her words. He sat there in a daze not knowing the meaning behind those words. With a jolt, his daze broke and he darted his eyes around but Ru was gone.

He frantically ran out to look for Ru and found her sitting on the stairs of the playground. She was staring blankly ahead. Xiao Zhi-Yuan took a seat beside her.

"Hey, what if I want to be friends with you?" Ru gave him a weird look with her expressionless face.

"Kiddo! Make friends with your own age group’s people," she retorted plainly.

His face fell a bit as he said, "But I don’t fit in them."

"So, you’re the odd one at school," Ru remarked with amusement. "Even then, I won’t be friends with you."

"Why not?" Xiao Zhi-Yuan wasn’t happy with this reply at all.

"How old are you?" Ru asked a question in return instead of answering him.

"I’m turning eighteen this year." Xiao Zhi-Yuan answered modestly completely contradicting his usual stance.

"You and I have a difference of a decade in age." Before Xiao Zhi-Yuan could argue, Ru added, "Apart from that, I don’t like kids who skip school." Ru looked disdainfully at him since he was clad in his school uniform she had guessed that he ditched school.

Xiao Zhi-Yuan’s shoulders slumped down as he replied, "I never skipped school before. It’s just that... here the school is different. I’m not used to it." As he said that, he pulled out his cigarette pack from the pocket and was about to take a stick when the pack was snatched from his hand yet again.

An open-handed slap landed on the back of his head making him scowl. "No smoking!" Although Ru said it, she contradicted her own words by biting a stick between her lips and lighting it up with her lighter.

The other night because of the dim lights, Xiao Zhi-Yuan hadn’t noticed the lighter in her hands but now that he saw it, he was quite impressed. It was a silver lighter with a beautifully carved ’Raven’ word on one side of it. Ru twisted the lighter in her hand and that’s when Xiao Zhi-Yuan noticed a ’Thunderbird’ symbol on the other side of the lighter. He was stunned.

The ’Thunderbird’ symbol reminded him of the sketch his elder brother kept locked in his drawer for years. The symbol was exactly alike. ’Is there a connection?’ He thought but shook his head immediately.

"Can’t you buy your own cigarettes?" Xiao Zhi-Yuan scowled at her and tried to take his pack back but couldn’t do it because of the clear difference in strengths. "Ugh!" He was clearly exasperated.

"Why would I waste my money on this useless thing?" Ru answered his earlier question as she blew out rings of smoke leisurely.

Xiao Zhi-Yuan stared with his mouth agape. "Then why are you smoking if it’s useless?"

"Well, it’s a good way to pass time." Ru’s answer made Xiao Zhi-Yuan want to puke blood but her next words made him straightened up. "You didn’t listen to me last time at the club." Her cold and yet unwavering eyes stared at his clear eyes as she went on, "I don’t like disobedient kids."

"You knew?" Xiao Zhi-Yuan was bewildered at this discovery since he thought he made his presence inconspicuous.

"My senses are better than your nonexistent ones. Obviously, I knew you’re there. I just had no interest in confronting you at that time." Her tone seemed sardonic to Xiao Zhi-Yuan for some reason. "You didn’t tell anyone about the happenings, did you?" He felt great pressure on himself and gulped down his saliva with difficulty.

"Humph! I’m not an idiot. Why would I tell anyone about that? Also, what do you mean by me having non-existent senses?" Xiao Zhi-Yuan asked not bothering to keep his cold and aloof nature.

His face contorted with black lines made Ru feel nostalgic as she lifted her hand and tousled his thick black hair. "It’s kind of adorable that you have no clue about the ten bodyguards keeping an eye on you."

Xiao Zhi-Yuan’s eyes widened at not just her words but also at the way Ru’s hand tousled his hair. The touch was gentle like an older brother was teasing his younger one. This idea made him smile spontaneously and his smile took Ru by surprise. Slowly his smile turned into a frown at a realization, "What bodyguards?"

Ru had noticed the movements of seemingly hidden bodyguards but when her hand landed on Xiao Zhi-Yuan’s head, that’s when her suspicion was confirmed. Ru rolled her eyes at him and smiled mesmerizingly as she said, "You’re really naive!"

If someone else would have said those words, Xiao Zhi-Yuan would have minded it but since these words came from the person whom he had the desire to grow close to, he didn’t give much of a reaction.

"You remind me of a poem I read in my brother’s diary once," Ru arched her single brow at him inquiringly. "It read:

I wore a smile to look alive,

But I forgot to hide my dead soul inside,

The holes that left my heart hollow,

To the world, the blood

That flowed from them, seemed shallow."

He took a pause before adding, "My brother once told me that friends are just friends. With no labels on them. Even if one of those friends calls you a monster, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world wouldn’t want to embrace that monster." He smiled innocently with his boyish charms. "Also, I’m not giving up the idea of becoming your friend. I’ll surely be better than your other friend."

"Kiddo! Don’t strive to be someone’s replacement. It’ll only be painful to you."

"I have a name, you know!" He scowled a bit displeased and added, "Xiao Zhi-Yuan but if you don’t want to call me by this name, you can call me Xan. That’s what everybody called me back in America."

"Xan!" Ru said his name as if rolling it over her tongue. "Do you think you’ll see me again?"

"Of course!" Xiao Zhi-Yuan was confident with his words. "We’ll see each other for sure. Oh, what should I call you?" Before Ru could answer, he clicked his fingers excitedly calling, "Oniisan![1]"

Ru’s eyes widened at the way he called her. "What did you just call me?" She asked uncertainly.

"Oniisan!" Xiao Zhi-Yuan answered without hesitation. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Huh? No... It’s just that no-one has ever called me that." Ru mumbled softly but Xiao Zhi-Yuan heard her.

Xiao Zhi-Yuan clapped his hands together as he said, "That’s even better. Now, stay as only my Oniisan. Okay?" He made an ’okay’ sign and excitedly stood up.

Ru’s eyes followed him until he got into his car and cruised away.

’Some people walk into your life without knowing what they’re getting themselves into.’ Ru shook her head and prepared to leave.

[1] "Oniisan": Older brother in Japanese

62d67767f92eb560e77c9100