The Strange Adventure of a Broke Mercenary

Proofreader: Xemul

“Hey, isn’t this bad? This seems life-threatening.”

“You’re better off than me! I don’t even have a sleeping bag or a coat! Even an Evil God can die, you know! Will I die?! Will I become a cold body here with no one to love me?!”

The cold wave, which Lapis had feared, hit their camp not long after she had first detected it. Its intensity was indeed, just as she guessed, potentially life-threatening.

Even Loren, who had hurriedly put on his coat, felt a cold, almost painful sensation on his unclothed face and hands, making it difficult to get away from the fire. Nig, who had always maintained his position on Loren’s shoulder, had hurriedly slid into his coat from the collar and was now clinging to Loren’s chest to get away from the cold.

Next to Loren, Lapis, also wearing a coat, was clinging to his arm, shivering in the cold wave that hit the camp. No matter how much more capable they were compared to humans, demons still felt heat and cold.

“Loren’s body is warm. I can’t help but feel happy.”

“Are you really feeling cold?”

From the tone of Lapis’ voice, Loren suspected that she was not that cold. But the trembling coming from her arms was real, and he couldn’t just heartlessly pull her away. Loren scratched his head in annoyance.

Right in front of them, Gula and Luxuria had been making a big ruckus about the whole thing. Gula was still inside her sleeping bag, but had also wrapped herself in her coat, while Luxuria was still in an attire that was entirely unsuitable for cold weatherl.

“Why is it so cold?! Did the world go through an ice age while we were sealed up?! Or did we fall into some frozen hell without knowing?”

“So you are aware that you are going to hell. I don’t care what you do, just give me that coat!You look like a caterpillar, you should have enough!”

“Shut up stupid! Who’s going to give it to you? It’s still cold! If this coat comes off, I’ll get all stiff!”

“If you’re going to be stiff, what about me, who doesn’t even have a coat?! I’ll become an ice statue! I think my ice statue will be beautiful, but no one will come to see it in a place like this!”

“You should only sleeptalk in your sleep! Your ice statue is nothing more than waste material!”

It seemed like those two were still alright, Loren thought. If the situation was to get really unpleasant, they wouldn’t be able to argue like that. As long as their voices were still coming out, it was safe to assume that they were still okay.

However, Loren also thought that if things continued like this, it was inevitable that they would eventually reach a dangerous situation.

Their camp was not sheltered by anything, and was completely exposed to the elements. No matter how hard they tried to keep warm by the campfire, the slightest breeze would cause the warmth to escape.

Loren began to think that it might be difficult to greet the morning if they did not move to a place where the wind could at least be kept out, when he suddenly felt a hand reaching for his coat’s collar. He reflexively grabbed it.

“Lapis, what are you trying to do?”

The hand Loren had grabbed belonged to Lapis. It had been clinging to his shoulder earlier, but before he knew it, Lapis had extended it towards his chest as if it was trying to creep into his coat.

“Loren, it is said that a creature’s libido increases when it is placed in a life-threatening situation.”

Lapis, who had inevitably moved closer to Loren as she reached for his chest from her clinging position, told him this with a serious face.

“It is a living creature’s instinct to procreate, and I believe that you, Loren, are about to reach that point.”

“What are you talking about? What do you even want to do in this situation? Do you want to die?”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, Loren. I’ll mainly be the one to get undressed. I see that there is plenty of room in that coat, so if you could just let me inside, I can secretly…”

“Wait wait, are you really that unaffected?!”

As he pushed back against Lapis, who was insistently pushing herself closer to his body, Loren decided that it would be dangerous to remain in the same place any longer.

He did not have a plan, but he thought the situation would only get worse if he did not move to a hollow or some other place where he could at least get shelter from the wind.

“We’re moving. Pack your things.”

“Now?”

“If we don’t move now, we might get stuck. The horse will also be in trouble soon.”

The horse was still tied to the wagon and was breathing out white breath from its mouth. For the moment, it seemed to be still alive, but if it was kept still, it might freeze to death in this cold, which even their party felt to be quite severe. Loren thought that even a little movement would raise its body temperature.

“Hurry up. I heard that freezing to death is a fairly painless way to die, but you don’t want to die.”

With just a little bit of anger in his voice, Loren reminded Lapis firmly. He thought about the possibility that she might have already lost the ability to make sound judgments due to the cold.

“It’s a little disappointing. I was thinking that if I kept pushing it, maybe I could make it.”

Loren had expected Lapis to complain, but she followed his instructions and detached herself from him surprisingly readily. Her flirting had made Loren wonder for a moment if Lapis’ behavior up to this point had been intentional, but when he saw that her body had not stopped shaking as she pulled away from him, he was at a loss.

Putting off whether he was right, Loren called out to Gula and Luxuria as well.

“Hey, listen. You guys too, get moving, quickly. You don’t want to be left behind.”

The two had been quarreling right up until then, but they immediately stopped arguing at his words. As Gula dexterously crawled forward in her caterpillar-like state, Luxuria began to move toward the wagon and tidy up the tent with such agility that it was doubtful whether he was really feeling the cold.

After quickly tidying up the camp, the party managed to coax the freezing horse into walking, and then began moving north again.

“But what the hell? I’ve never heard of a weather like this.”

Loren, sitting on the driver-bench, spoke to Lapis, who was holding the reins next to him, as if asking for her opinion, but Lapis looked around and tilted her head.

Even if one were to look around, the surroundings were still covered in the darkness of night, and with the light that Gula had created with her magic from inside her sleeping bag and the scant moonlight, there was no way to get a satisfactory view.

Even so, Lapis, who seemed to be able to see through the darkness with the vision of a demon, muttered in wonder.

“I don’t know either, but where are we moving towards now?”

“What do you mean?”

“We had been following the map until we camped, but suddenly I can’t tell where we are. I mean, was there even a place like this before we set up the camp?”

Upon being told this, Loren looked around once again.

According to the Great Demon king, Loren’s vision, which seemed to be somewhat blended with that of the King of Death, could see more clearly than human eyes even in a darkness that was normally impossible to see through. And what appeared in Loren’s vision now was a scenery that he was surely not familiar with.

Before camping, Loren had seen an unobstructed view of a vast wasteland, but now, even though the wasteland was still a wasteland, he could also see the shadow of what looked like a huge mountain nearby.

No matter how much Loren checked his memory or tilted his head at the unfamiliar mountain like Lapis did, no matter how hard he strained his eyes or rubbed them, the sight that did not disappear indicated that the mountain was indeed there.

“Were we closer to our destination than we thought?”

There was definitely a mountain near their destination. Yuri had told them that the cave was at the foot of the mountain, so Loren wondered if that was the case. But Lapis shook her head.

“It’s not possible. We must be at least another half day or so away.”

Loren thought that if Lapis said so, then it must be the case. At the very least, Lapis’ opinion, which was based on the map and actual conditions, was more reliable than his own vague sense.

If that were the case, however, it would not explain the existence of the mountain that loomed in front of them.

“I guess we’ll just have to go there anyway. I heard there is something that will help us find the cave?”

“I got this.”

Lapis took one hand off the reins and pulled out a sheet of paper from her pocket. Waving the paper, which had some kind of pattern drawn on it, Lapis began to explain.

“It seems to be a talisman that reacts to anything that opposes the Evil God of Wrath.”

“Commander, why would he have such a thing?”

To Loren, the thing in Lapis’ hand looked like nothing more than a piece of paper with incomprehensible scribbles on it. However, if what Lapis said was true, then it was a magical tool, not something that could be obtained at random.

“That’s what I’d like to ask you. Who in the world is that Yuri?”

Lapis asked, but Loren had no words to answer it.

The Yuri Loren knew was really just an old man who had been the leader of a mercenary soldier corps for some years. Of course, he owed the man a debt of gratitude for raising and educating him since he was a child, but he didn’t think it had anything to do with Lapis’ question.

“I have a hunch that there must be a cave at the end of this road, and that’s our destination.”

“Even though you don’t know where we are?”

Loren was more than a little surprised to hear this contradictory remark coming from Lapis, who had just said that they were still half a day away from their destination according to the map. But Lapis, the one who said it, did not even seem to think her words were strange or out of place.

“I believe so because I don’t know where we are.”

Loren snorted a little at Lapis’ strangely confident words.

Behind him, Gula, still in her caterpillar state, and Luxuria, who was still not wearing any kind of warm clothing, were sinking into the gaps between their luggage.