The Villainess and I, her Zombie

"Are you interested in me? Oh my, I'm honored!"

The blue undead put both his hands to his chest and gasped with a theatrical flair.

"In your dreams."

Pitaya blinked, keeping her eyes closed for a little longer than it was necessary, and sighed.

"Khahaha! Hey, don't be like that. As a spy, you must be naturally curious, right? I bet that girl is training hard to become a great bodyguard – maybe you two will meet in the palace in a few years?"

Zombie laughed cheerfully although that cheerfulness did not reflect in his mocking stare of pale blue glowing eyes focused at the queen's spy in front of him.

"I don't understand what you are talking about, mister undead. And as for spies being curious – you are dead wrong. Curiosity is the number one cause of untimely deaths for spies. In this line of work you need to be focused and single-minded."

Pitaya shook her head and glared at the blue undead who was slightly taller than her.

"My, my. Fascinating. I would love to hear more of your take on that – how about we grab a bite once we get to the city? I can make the report as we go so we'll be done before we get there and not interfere with your work."

Zombie offered with a brilliant smile and tilted his head while extending his arm out for the spy to grab on to.

"..."

Pitaya didn't change her expression, but her fingers twitched as if just for a split second she did indeed want to take Zombie's offer – but that only lasted a moment...

"Unnecessary."

The spy declared, furrowing her brows and putting her hand on her hip to visually show her contempt towards the blue undead.

"Also, stop using that skill of yours on me each time we meet. It's highly annoying."

She added with a scoff and glared at the blue undead as if looking for a fight.

"Aww! Cute! So cute! Are you sure you are not a monster? I don't feel like killing you off at all!"

Zombie jumped up and clapped his hands, purposefully overreacting with his happiness just to make Pitaya more distracted – there already was an opening – prying just a little more could prove to have great effects.

|...she's one of the useful livings without a unique name that I was talking about. One of the queen's trusted spymasters...|

Zombie hummed to himself so that Kopia wouldn't make a sound of shock witnessing his odd act – he didn't have to give any ques to Monty since acting dead, or inanimate was its second nature, to begin with.

"...Tsk. I will make sure to bring a defensive artifact next time..."

Still, Zombie's act made even the stone-faced spy frown and click her tongue in anger.

...yet somehow that reaction was what assured the blue undead that his skill was working on her as intended.

"Oh? No, you don't have to worry about the protection on our next date – I'm an undead with a strong moral compass, so during our first date..."

For a moment there, Zombie had to stop talking and take a deep breath just to stop himself from bursting out in laughter, but somehow it ended up sounding very deliberate and almost seductive.

"...I will make sure to serve you plenty with my mouth..."

"!!!!!!!!!"

"...with a pleasant conversation."

"..."

Just a few words.

With just a few words spoken while level 4 heartthrob skill was active were already enough to make the composed woman like the spymaster flinch and make her face flush.

The blue undead quickly cleared any misunderstanding – which earned him a furious glare from the embarrassed Pitaya.

"As for the next dead spy you've spoken about earlier – I don't know anything about them, why would I? What happened?"

Zombie shrugged his shoulder, deactivating the lust-based skill, and looked to the side with an indifferent expression, without even a speck of embarrassment after his outrageous provocation.

"...again, huh...? Envys sure don't mess around, one or two dead spies might be an accident, but five? And ones that clearly only follow one person? It's either that you are so important to them, or that they are actively picking a fight with the royal family."

Pitaya frowned and sighed in a doubtful voice, keenly observing the reaction of the blue undead since her mind had finally stopped being hazy because of his odd skill

"Could be both – keep in mind that I am a familiar of the daughter of the Pride family – and Envys' aren't exactly known for having a warm relationship with them. Oh, and the little fact that I have the superbia skill which qualifies me as the next in line avatar of pride. Who knows? Maybe they want to keep an eye on me while deciding what to do and simply don't want the royal family to interfere in a business they consider private?"

Zombie shrugged and tilted his head innocently, despite being the one always killing spies from BOTH sides.

The funniest part was that neither Greeds nor Envys wanted to confirm with each other whether the other side was killing their spies because that would make them admit that they had those spies sent out in the first place.

Something something, honor, and whatnots.

It was simply marvelous from Zombie's standpoint as he could stir up both families against each other just as it happened in the original game.

"What a convenient coincidence... convenient for you, isn't it...?"

Pitaya shook her head and smirked mockingly, looking at the blue undead with squinted eyes.

"...? Is it? But having a spy from the royal family with me all the time would make so many things easier though!"

Zombie gasped and made a pitiful expression.

"Even with this cheap thing it will be extremely difficult to even approach the Envys mansion without causing an uproar about a stray undead monster running around – I literally was attacked by two misguided adventurers who did not know any better."

Zombie complained, making a pitiful face.

"Ah, I know! Why won't you ask the queen for you to become the one keeping an eye on me all the time?!"

He added, perking up with excitement.

"That's out of the question. And while we are on the subject – what is your progress report?"

Pitaya wasn't swayed and asked with a frown.

"As you can see, of course! I got myself an artifact that distracts enemies, so I should be somehow okay while infiltrating the Envys territory capital. That's basically it. Thought thanks to this signet I should have an easier time infiltrating the mansion, so I'm sure that the future progress report will be much better."

The blue undead scoffed and waved his hand dismissively.

"Now, with that said and done, about our date..."

He instantly switched gears and said with a cheeky smile.

"I received your report, mister undead, with that, I will see you in a week."

...but Pitaya shut him off instantly and turned around with no intention of continuing the conversation past that point.

"Khaha! That's so you! Oh well, fine. See you then, Pitaya."

Zombie laughed and blew a kiss at the woman's back, but she disappeared with a flash of white light without responding to him at all.

"Sssss... (She's a weird human.) Ssss? (Didn't she say that she will bring a defensive artifact the last time she showed up?)"

Without even blinking, Monty moved its jaw and hissed into Zombie's ear.

"Sssss? (Did she forget?)"

It added curiously.

"She did not forget – it's just that my skill is working just fine."

Zombie's face brightened up with an evil smirk.

That Pitaya.

She was one of the kingdom's only three people who mastered the teleportation skill.

She could have disappeared at any point – but she waited until Zombie said his affectionate farewell.