The Villainess and I, her Zombie

"Eghm... Well, as you can see, a lot of stuff happened to me, but the same can clearly be said about you all."

The blue undead forced himself to smile while trying to get his hands out from the In're's grip but although the short priestess wasn't particularly strong, she was very persistent and did not take a hint at all – adjusting her hands as soon as Zombie pulled his back even a little bit.

"Dear system...! I- I don't know what to say..."

Rotte gasped and looked at his companions looking for help.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know what to say, stupid younger brother! Sir Zombie, it's so good to see you!"

The black-haired Lairs scoffed at the warrior and basically skipped towards the blue undead but stopped at a respectful distance from him and was looking at him with eyes only a little less excited than those of the overly touchy-feely priestess.

"Well... Is it really okay for us to say that it's good to see him when he got turned into an undead...? What if he didn't want that?"

Rotte explained his point looking down, sulking after being called stupid.

"Oh, fuck... you're right...!"

Lairs flinched and straightened her back.

"Sir Zombie, what happened to you?! Saying that it was a lot just doesn't cut it!"

She added, making a serious expression.

"Well... why don't we just discuss it in a private room, you see I..."

"Ah~! So bold! Geez~ I'm so weak when an undead has such a dominating aura~ Sure, let's go somewhere private just the two of us~!"

"!!!!!"

"!!!!!"

If Zombie had blood in his veins instead of the corpse venom, he would most definitely get as pale as Lairs and three other Dandelions once In're fidgetted and giggled flirtatiously while looking up at the flabbergasted blue undead.

"...I actually came here with my friends because I wanted to hire you for a mission, though I was unaware that you became such important figures..."

|Please, I honestly am begging you, please tell me that I just misunderstood what she said...!|

Zombie somehow managed to finish his sentence but internally he was actually panicking enough so that the machine mind had to bring him back to his default emotional state.

|...I vaguely remember something from the first playthrough about Lairs calling In're a necrophiliac bitch, but... I always thought that was just because Lairs always cursed and In're wanted to have an undead monster under her command and not because she had those kinds of... interests...|

Even the sealed being was completely stunned.

"Oh, sure, we can do that first – but after that, we will have the rest of the day and the whole night all to ourselves~"

…Zombie honestly never expected to be scared by someone's smile, ever, but seeing the beaming face of the innocently looking short woman in a holy garb he could not deny that even with his dead body, he felt goosebumps on his arms and neck – and not the good kind of goosebumps...

"Sir Zombie, please don't mind her, she sometimes says the dumbest stuff while she is excited!"

"MPFHHH...!"

The rat-faced Shanks nudged Rotte and the warrior caught the overly-excited priestess and pulled her back while blocking her mouth – making her whizz furiously and kick her legs up in fury.

"Please, don't think badly of her. Deep down she is a good person... I hope..."

Uresha bowed her head apologetically towards the blue undead while glancing at Rotte struggling to keep In're away from the blue undead.

|She hopes?! Even that huge marshmallow can't say anything good about that woman for certain?!|

Zombie honestly felt that he should turn back and walk away, but sadly, that wasn't an option.

|Bear with her. Dandelions are literally essential for the secret true ending we want... But at least slap her if she will try to touch you again... No. Don't do that after all, she might like it...|

The sealed being reminded him about it just in case, though she herself sounded disturbed, though for her it was more of jealous anger than what Zombie felt.

"Anyway... I was told that I can't see you without going through a lot of time-consuming procedures and I would really appreciate it if you at least heard us out."

Zombie breathed out and said as if he wasn't just offered some indecent proposition...

"Whew... I-I mean, really? Even though we are currently free? Sir Zombie, who told you that there's a need for some procedures...?"

Shanks breathed out with relief and nodded at the blue undead, before furrowing his brows and asking in a grim tone.

"Who? That one over there."

Zombie shrugged his shoulders indifferently and casually pointed at the terrified guild staff member.

"Eh...? Even though the written application was set up in place only when there are too many requests...?"

Uresha tilted her head in confusion – kind-hearted as she was she did not expect that someone would be trying to make others go through something bothersome just to make themselves feel important, so the situation was especially odd to her.

"You fucker! Who do you think you fucking are, huh?! Telling sir Zombie to go through some fucking procedure when we clearly told you that we are looking for a mission?! You wanna have a fucking go, huh?!"

"Hiiih! I'm sorry!"

...but it certainly wasn't for Lairs, as the black-haired elven woman rushed over to the counter and pulled over the panicking guild staff member by the collar of their shirt.

"...dear system..."

Seeing her act like that, Shanks sighed and glanced at Rotte...

"Don't look at me, I can only handle In're and Lai-lai one at a time."

...but the warrior shook his head while making sure that their party-healer will not ruin their reputation even more in a single day...

"Miss, I'm terribly sorry for our employee, please, you wanted to go to one of the rooms in the back to have a private conversation about the mission, right? Let me lead you there."

Suddenly a platinum-haired copper-eyed woman in the guild staff uniform approached Lairs and gently grabbed her arm, speaking calmly while smiling at the angered elven woman.

"..."

Lairs glared at her for a moment, before glancing at her hand around her arm and her angry expression changed into a pout.

"...yeah, sure... fuck, Sorry for the trouble..."

In the end, Laris let go of the guild staff member behind the counter and nodded apologetically to the copper-eyed woman.

"No one was harmed so there's nothing to apologize for. Now. Please come with me."

The copper-eyed woman did not let go of Lairs arm walked together with them towards the door at the back, motioning at both the Dandelions and Zombie's group to follow her – which everyone did.

Almost everyone.

"Sir...?"

The female guild staff member turned around, looking at the blue undead staying behind.

|Is Ti showing up so early also a part of this whole different scenario?|

Zombie sighed internally, asking even though he knew the answer already.

|Yes.|

The sealed being answered him with a dismissive shrug.

"Yeah, I'm going to, relax."

The blue undead ended up nodding and raised his hand apologetically before joining in with Cranberry – who instantly wrapped herself around his arm while glaring at the priestess still securely held by the warrior in front of them.