The Villainess and I, her Zombie

The nightfall came surprisingly early - or maybe not that surprisingly - considering all the clouds that were now blocking the sky.

In the clearance in the forest, Cranberry, Zombie, and the Dandelions were all sitting around a campfire and staring into the flickering flames.

Though it might sound like a quite serene picture, the peacefulness of the site was disturbed by the hellscape of all the monster corpses stacked on the multiple carts all around their group.

"Young lady, you really should consider learning how to cook."

It was the large woman, Uresha, the party's tank, that shyly but stubbornly pitched up the same idea that she tried to push since morning.

"Why though? Zombie doesn't eat."

The red-haired girl shrugged and threw a stick into the fire and watched it crack and burn with an indifferent expression.

"Young lady..."

The big woman shook her head in disbelief.

"But you have to! What if by any chance, during our travels, we would happen to get separated for a few days? What will you eat then?"

Uresha wasn't giving up despite the cold reception.

"From what you've told us, you never even truly slept outside, without a carriage that is, and never had eaten something not cooked by a master chef, that simply won't do! Aren't we all supposed to meet with prince Roan in less than two days?"

The woman said in a worried voice and the other Dandelions nodded, looking at her and then at the clearly bored Cranberry.

It was slightly annoyed for the red-haired girl to hear that, considering that before the system changed her backstory, she traveled and ate together with the Dandelions on more than a few occasions.

"Haa... I fail to see how this connects to me learning how to cook, can't we eat in a tawern?"

Therefore she responded a bit annoyed while throwing a dry twig up and catching it without breaking it - which was actually a part of her training that she came up with to properly control her strength.

"...! Well... you got me there..."

Uresha made an awkward expression.

"Sorry, I got so caught up with the idea that a girl your age never cooked anything, that I mixed my priorities."

The woman bowed her head apologetically, which caused Cranberry to smile lightly.

"Nah, don't sweat the small stuff. So, I guess what you really worried about is possible indigestion and not getting enough sleep, right?"

"Right."

Cranberry summarized for her, and Uresha nodded.

"That's not a problem at all."

The red-haired girl waved her hand dismissively.

"As soon as I received permission to leave from father, I've done some shopping and a few experiments on my own."

She came up with an explanation on the spot and smirked.

"Turns out that I can basically eat anything. But I guess that's mostly due to the status effect immunity skill."

Cranberry looked up at the surprised adventurers.

"And as far as it comes to falling asleep..."

Cranberry lowered her head a bit and sneakily glanced at Zombie.

"I have a perfect strategy for that."

She hurriedly straightened her back and looked to the side.

"Hey, young lady."

Even though Uresha seemed at least a little convinced, Lairs, the potty-mouth mage, pulled back her long black hair and glared at Cranberry.

"I fucking know why Ure-ure wants you to fucking learn how to do the fucking cooking."

She said with a sour expression.

"...haa... And that is...?"

Cranberry rolled her eyes and tilted her head, showing the willingness to benevolently listen to the angry mage.

"We, the Dandelions, take fucking turns cooking and doing the fucking dishes!"

The elf pointed out at the empty dishes, still slightly wet, drying up close to the fire.

"Today was Rotte's turn to cook and Shan-shan did the cleaning. The next fucking time when we will have to fucking camp outside, I'll be fucking cooking, and Rotte will clean the fucking dishes! That's how it fucking goes!"

Lairs growled, getting more and more agitated as she talked.

"A-aaa-and?"

Cranberry raised her brow openly yawning with no shame.

"And?! AND?! You fucking...!"

It looked like the mage's anger was going to boil over.

"Lairs, calm down."

Shanks called out to the elven mage while Rotte put his hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

"...!"

Lair gritted her teeth and breathed out.

"That fucking means... young lady... that since you'll be fucking joining us, you will enter the fucking rotation!"

"Graough...! (Oh, so that was it...!) Graough? (Should we explain to them that I can cook?) Graough. (I could even take over their turns if that would shut them up.)"

Zombie nudged Cranberry's side and groaned rolling his eyes as if he had enough of hearing the complaints.

But the red-haired girl shook her head and patted her servant's leg.

"If that's what's bothering you, then you can relax."

Cranberry shrugged her shoulders and smirked mockingly at the furious elf.

"Tomorrow, my Zombie and I are going to register at the adventurers guild as a two-person party."

She declared confidently.

"See? It's that simple. We won't be joining your group, we will be participating in a joint expedition instead."

"!!!!"

Four Dandelions flinched and started staring at the red-haired girl in utter bewilderment.

"Young lady Pride... you do know that actually joining the proper adventuring party is rather bothersome, right? Haven't you say so yourself? That you want to focus only on fighting and honing your skills?"

Shanks was the first one to recover from the shock, asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I know what I've said, and I know all the details..."

Cranberry waved her hand dismissively and patted the stack of books she was reading while the evening meal was being prepared.

"In the end, accompanying your little circle would only result in raking in all the achievement to your name. And that would be a problem for you after the two of us left..."

She smiled brightly at the stunned Dandelions.

After all, what Shanks said earlier was the truth.

Being a member of the adventuring party was a pain.

But only when it came to strong parties.

For example, once you proved your strength and achieved a certain rank, your strong group would once in a while receive a special mission that you could not refuse.

The Dandelions were just a low-level party so they were free from such annoyances, but it was more than obvious for them that once the master-servant pair would put their minds into it, they would shot straight to the top of the guild's charts.

"Fuck...!"

Lairs sighed, hanging down her head and pulling her hood over her eyes.

"So what you're saying is...?"

Shanks glanced at his companions and asked looking back at the red-haired girl.

"That our party will hire your party, as a support party. On the exact same terms as up until now, of course. And after we fulfill our own goals, everyone will be able to go their own way without unwanted side-effects."

Cranberry finished for him, complacent.