This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

The guild house of the adventurer's guild in Deep Down Town was loud yet again today. Resting her cheeks on her palm, the head receptionist and the senior-most member of the house sighed.

She had received many notices for a promotion and was even offered the positions from vice-branch manager to head of different departments, but always turned them all down. Tiring as it was, she enjoyed her quiet life with minimal responsibilities.

"Morning!" Rena, the receptionist on the next counter greeted her, and she nodded back.

"Ah, the latest edition of the 'Adventurer Time' is here."

"It is?" the head receptionist's brows pumped up. "Give me a copy, 'Adventurer time' is always fun."

The head receptionist's voice was louder than necessary, it made Rena flinch.

Just as she mentioned 'Adventurer Time,' the wild and hectic guild house was overtaken by a strange quiet.

All the adventurers were eyeing each other, waiting to see who makes the first move.

From the back of the restaurant, two of the currently highest-ranked adventurers still in the guild house walked over to the desk.

"M-ma'am..."

"Sharky? What is it?"

"Y-you're still calling me Sharky! It's megalodon!"

"Zzzz..."

The adventurer with shark teeth and the handsome blonde who could now sleepwalk, the adventurer duo appeared at the reception desk and stretched their hands out.

"Can we see the magazine for a while?"

All the adventurers in the room nodded at Sharky's words.

The receptionist smiled amusedly. She flipped the magazine and handed it to Sharky easily. As if a dam broke, all the other adventurers flooded the counter too and started asking for copies from the other receptionists. Word spread immediately and adventurers all over the labyrinth town came rushing into the guild house to get their hands on the magazine.

All the counters except the head receptionist's were filled with people, making her crack with laughter at the peril of her coworkers. A few newbies would try to get to the counter of the head receptionist as well but were pulled away almost immediately by their seniors.

"Do you want to fucking die?!" they would scream.

No one had the guts to bother her.

Fitting in with the wild crowd, Sharky and Zachariah flipped open the pages of the magazine. At least one did, the other was looking over the beanie-clad boy's shoulders with his eyes shut close.

Sharky flipped the pages at the same time as a dozen others.

Past a few uninspired pages catering to sponsors, the parts that everyone was looking for came up.

The lists. The rankings that adventurers all over the continent voted for.

The first on the list.

[Craziest Fucking Adventurers Active (Barring all Adamantium+ Ranks)

1- Adventurer Dusk

2- Adventurer Popipipipipo

.

.]

"AH! The first name on the first list already!?" Sharky screamed, his words made all the other adventurers flinch.

He aggressively flipped the pages over to the next.

[Adventurers with drugs for brains (Barring all Adamantium+ Ranks)

1- Adventurer Dusk

.

.]

[Adventurers clearing the most requests (Barring Kaiser)

1 - Adventurer Dusk

.]

[Adventurers that all ladies would like to date! (Barring Kaiser)

1 - Zachariah Arke

]

"Oh?" One of the newbie adventurers said. "That Dusk guy is not on this list."

The ladies in the room either blushed or looked away.

"He's a little crazy, so dating..."

"I'd love to fuck him someday though."

"He's 17 right? Isn't that a fine age?"

"Oh? Is he single?"

"Dude, you again."

Crazy. The newbie decided to shrug those words off and turned to look at Zachariah Arke, who was sleeping while reading the magazine. Wasn't that guy crazy too?

[Adventurers that all gents would like to date! (Barring Kaiser)

1 - Adventurer Silver Moon

]

"Why is that Kaiser guy barred in this one too?" Sharky posed.

"He topped that chart as well, so," it was the adventurer that had fought him in the tests who answered.

[Receptionists Most Likely to be Hit On!

1 - Head Receptionist of Deep Down Town Branch!]

"Oh, mam! You're mentioned here too!" Rena, the second receptionist said excitedly.

"It's every day for me," the head receptionist waved her hands. It was the thirty-fifth time she had topped that chart.

"Really?" The same newbie muttered. "But didn't everyone steer clear of her?"

"Look at the next list, kid."

[Receptionists who have destroyed the highest number of Adventurers!

1 - Head Receptionist of Deep Down Town Branch!]

[Receptionists who if you ask out you're sure to reconsider your life choices

1 - Head Receptionist of Deep Down Town Branch!]

[Receptionists who will definitely kill you and chop you off and use you as fertilizer if you piss them off!

1 - Head Receptionist of Deep Down Town Branch!]

"These don't even make sense what the fuck!?"

"You'll get used to it, Newbie," Sharky smirked, flipping the pages. "I was like that in the beginning too."

Best hammer.

Most insane Adventurer.

People you don't want to mess with.

All these rankings were dominated by the same name.

Adventurer Dusk.

[Hottest Rising Adventurer in the Continent

1- Adventurer Dusk (Solo-Cleared Five Star Platinum Ranked Mission at Platinum Rank)

2- Adventurer Megalodon (Solo-Cleared Four Star Silver Ranked Mission at Gold Rank)

3- Adventurer Roth (Team Cleared Two Star Gold Ranked Mission at Silver Rank

.

.]

"PLATINUM RANK!?"

A bunch of the adventurers screamed at once.

"When did that bastard clear a platinum-ranked mission? Didn't he set off just five months back!?"

"Heh..." the head receptionist smiled. "That kiddo cleared it? If the magazine got wind of it, he should have cleared it a month back. He'll be back today, huh?"

Rena turned to the head receptionist with a wry smile. "You sure like him, right mam?"

"Not really? I just remembered how he had no clue about the systems when he registered—"

"—What's all this noise?"

The guild house quietened down. A muscular man reminiscent of a war tank descended the stairs. His low voice boomed over the guild house before his gaze fell on the magazines in everyone's hands.

"Ah," he muttered. "Continue."

With that, the branch manager turned around and was about to leave, when the head receptionist called out to him.

"Manager, your student cleared the mission."

The manager froze.

His hands trembled.

"W-what...? Who?"

"Dusk, about a month back."

"A month!?" the manager growled like a line. "That brat isn't dead yet? How did he clear that? He should have died."

"Wow, how scummy."

"B-b-business trip!" The manager shouted. "I have to go on a business trip. A business trip, I am leaving now."

A spectacle that most adventurers had never even imagined in their wildest dreams unfolded as the Branch Manager rushed up the stairs and disappeared from their sight.

The guild house remained silent until it was broken by the call of the newbie.

"This page..."

[Adventurers that the entirety of Deep Down Town Branch can't defeat one vs all. (Barring All Adamantium+ Ranks)

1 - Adventurer Dusk

.

]

Dusk.

Dusk. That name.

All the adventurers, regardless of gender, age, rank, or species crushed the magazines in their hands and slammed whatever was closest to them.

"Can't defeat all together?"

"That dusk? That brat?"

"He stole my ranking this time too... and this wild list."

"Is he single though?"

"Someone in the editorial department lost their heads, huh?"

Rage spread in the entire room.

What would usually have divided the adventurers had united them today, all against one person. Their lips curled into vicious grins and many adventurers bared all their presence at once.

With the air of homicide looming in the guild, the palpitating tension was shifted at once.

The door creaked open.

Dusk, that little bitch.

They were going to maul him apart.