This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



A chilly breeze blew over the mountain cap. Along with it fluttered balls of snow as a light blizzard swept through the peaks of the mountain. Standing atop a fern tree was a young redhead donning a long coat made from the hide of tigers.

The sword in the young man's hands clinked in the air which sent his long hair aflutter, but his eyes were unwavering even in front of the cold.

"Ouch, my eyes will freeze."

Apparently not.

The young man covered his eyes and blinked, he sniffled up a strand of snot while his cheeks flushed red from the cold.

"At last, I am here…"

Far ahead at the very peak of the mountain, was a giant cave covered with frosty icicles and a pile of snow, the blizzard raged at that spot and that spot alone.

Months.

Months had passed since the man went on a wild goose chase all over the kingdom of sages in search of this place. In search of its inhabitant.

How much had he suffered?

He could remember clearly, stopping every night at a pub and drinking till his daylights were knocked out. And since he was in a town anyway, what a great waste would it be not to hit a single brothel, so he made it a point to go to as many as he could.

Whenever he had a chance or would remember his mission, he would ask his partners for the night.

'Oh, do you know someone who can pull exorcisms? Someone the best at it?'

Clue after clue, he ran and asked.

'Yeah, there's apparently a reclusive old shaman in the icy mountains. You can probably ask him. It's a rumor though."

Mountains?! Icy mountains!?

Hard pass.

And so, the young man spent the next two weeks in debauchery. It all had to stop when he saw someone donning the wristband of a dark moon. He remembered his goal right away and decided to fuck off from the place before the one who ordered him to leave figured out he was slacking off.

That's right, the man was none other than the knight Keith. Eugene Hall's truest guardian and not just emotionally.

Taking in a deep breath, Keith, who had suffered deeply for the last month and had definitely not been having fun without thinking much jumped off the top of the tree and ran ahead. It was cold, but he covered himself with his Ki and managed to ignore it well.

"That shaman better be inside. I'll take him along and also steal his cave."

He was never ordered to bring a shaman along, it was just that as his guardian, he had figured his young master was acting weird.

Possession, he decreed.

No particular reason, he just couldn't imagine his crazy wack of a young master going senile all on his own. And anyway, the master himself was a possessor so what stopped it from happening again?

He did. He would stop it.

He was absolutely not doing this because he totally forgot about the secret base his master wanted. Absolutely not. No chance.

It was time for Keith to save the day.

With a bright grin on his face, he scratched the back of his head and dashed up the mountain.

The man's eyes glowed golden the nearer he approached the mountain. And with a blink, all color drained from the world, leaving only an outline of everything around him.

There, deep within the cave, was a strong golden flame.

A soul.

Keith's lips turned upward. Shaman or not, someone was in there. Everyone could learn exorcism if he just slaps them enough.

His gaze turned lower, and in the ground below the cave, was another soul. A flame much wilder and stronger than the one before.

"Oh?" Keith muttered. It seemed he had guests too.

He blinked again and kicked off faster than before. The nearer he reached the cave wider his grin became.

And just as he stepped over the spot where the soul was, the ground below started to shake.

"GWAAAAA!"

A loud scream thundered over the skies of the icy mountains. Avalanches fell down the peak and crushed the trees below as boulders and snow in front of the cave fell off without discrimination against the rising ground.

Standing atop that very rising ground, laughing his gut out, was Keith.

"It seems like a big monster? A Behemoth of some kind?"

"GWAWAAAA!" The monster shook its head, ready to knock the man down.

Keith found it's struggle quite cute.

"Sorry, big guy, I'm in a slight rush."

The big guy sent a punch hurtling towards its own head at speeds that betrayed its size, the target? None other than the small human standing atop it.

Keith landed his feet on the approaching fist and jumped up high. Like an arrow piercing through the skies, Keith shot upward arched his body till his head faced down.

His hand reached for his sword.

In the month, he had gone beyond that stage of 'reaching toward' soul ki, and had attained that level on his own.

"[Azure Dragon]…"

His eyes closed.

The sword glimmered as it was pulled out from its scabbard.

The monster below trembled.

"[Dragon's Breath]"

As the sword swung down, the falling snow went upward. Nothing, not even air was spared as the blade fell above the monster.

The monster blinked.

—GRRRRRRRRRR

And a crushing sound spread through the ground.

The monster's body was sliced in half.

And below it, a large part of the mountain too had a long deep gash in it.

Keith floated down and nimbly landed on his head. He peeked down the gash on the mountain, stuck his tongue out, and tapped his head.

"Oops, I wonder who did that."

Bobbing his shoulders, Keith walked toward the cave. He also started whistling as he went inside.

The snow started to fall again when Keith stepped inside the dark cave. He activated his soul sight again and strode through the dark place straight toward the man in the center.

In there, sitting next to a fire with beads in his hands was an old sage clad in blue clothes.

"Hey, are you a shaman?"

"What's the haste, child. I see you've killed a being outside."

"Answer me."

"Hoho, haste is the taste of the devil—Phak!"

Keith slapped him.

"Shaman you are. Now, let's go."

"Child!? Child!"

"Come on, we have to exorcise my young master."

Keith pulled the shaman by then neck, straddled him on his shoulders, and took him along.

"Just wait young master, Keith is here."

Totally not to save his own ass. No chance.