This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



"KYAAAA!"

Irina's scream rang out again.

"My room you son of a bitch!"

"Oh? Oh?" I walked ahead and then walked behind, my sense of balance was completely fucked after fighting the damn spirits, and things seemed to be doubling down on the shit for now.

"Is that a prob…me?" I asked Irina.

"Of course it is a problem!"

"Sorry, sorry, spirits, can ya get that?"

The puke was gone. The blood was gone. The other body was gone. And so was the floor below it. The ground of the room had a small hole peeking into the floor below. Thankfully it was empty or we would have had a lawsuit on our hands.

"Well… well… fuck. They got the spirit, they'll get there."

Then I laughed out loud.

The others around me looked at me as if I was an idiot, but they just didn't understand.

Spirits. Got the spirit.

Oh my god.

My stomach hurt.

I almost fell over to the front, but I didn't want to fall down. Almost made an oopsie there.

"D-damn it! You monster!"

One of the demons in front of me screamed and charged right into me. I grabbed his hands before he could attack and scowled.

"Come on man… you can. Like. Engine someone like this?"

"Injure, Eugy."

"Yeah that?"

"You killed us all!"

"Right. Right." I nodded. Then, I wrapped my arms around his back and hugged the demon tight. Embracing him with all my might until I could hear his spine creaking.

Tears almost dripped down my eyes.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry."

"What…?"

"I don't know how I can ever make it up to you—uwaaak."

I puked on him too. His entire chest was filled with the mixture of stomach acid and alcohol, and I felt about that. I slowly pushed him away and patted the clean side of his shoulder.

"I-I didn't mean to do that. You know right? I would… never puke on someone… on purpose. I promise."

"Good lord, Eugene Hall. Are you drunk?"

Irina said something, but it was too loud. People, we all had ears here. No need to shout. No one had to shout whatsoever!

"Alright. Look, dude. I am sorry," I said to the demon. "I know, I know, you can't just forgive me like this, but you won't have to. I made a mistake by leaving you alive. Learnt my lesson. Alright? I promise I've learned from this… this, mishap?"

I pushed him back and stood upright. He looked at me weirdly.

"Rejoice. I'll kill you now."

"W-what?"

"Origami!!"

I clapped my hands.

The man was folded in half. His body as flat as a sheet of paper.

A rumble sounded.

From beyond the window, outside the inn.

Everything to the point where my eyes reached.

Was flattened in two halves.

"Woopsies. Hahahah!"

"Oh… dear Alfheim…" Titania was remembering her mother or something.

I didn't really care. That was slightly. Different from expectations…?

NAH. Just kidding. I totally wanted everything folded. That would be cool.

Then, I turned to the last one around.

"You there," I called after snapping my fingers. "Come here, come here."

"Ah… I…"

"Oh, are you busy? I-I am so sorry. I didn't think that would be the case. Do you have to be somewhere?"

The demon nodded.

Fuck. I was getting late too. I understood his predicament.

"No problems. I just promised your friend that I have learnt my lesson. I am not going to go back on my words now."

I walked ahead.

The ground below me disappeared and I fell face first on the ground.

Oh fuck, yes. I had… I had removed, the ground. Yes.

"Sorry, about that."

God, I wasn't used to saying that word, this much. But whatever. Who cared.

I slowly pushed myself back up and walked ahead. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Irina munching on something.

Whatever.

I walked over to the last demon. He stepped back.

"No! No! Don't, come on."

He tried again, but couldn't.

Then, I approached him without any haste. Slowly, I raised my hand and tapped his chest.

"There you go, my guy. "Go, go and rush."

In the blink of an eye, he took to the air and shot out of the window. With speeds neither of us could fathom, like a rocket launching into space, the man shot away. He flew and flew higher and higher, above the clouds, the skies, into the stars.

And then, he fell down.

I could see his skin melting off in the distance from the velocity he fell with. And then a bam resounded as he dropped smack dab in the center of the forest that had almost been folded too.

I wiped the top of my head.

"Alls well that ends well? I guess?"

My head got woozy.

And I fell on my back.

"Oi!"

"Eugy!"

***

It felt as if a hundred needles were poked into every single inch of my body.

My head hurt and so did my throat, and my stomach, and my hands and feet, and pretty much everything.

With great effort, I slowly opened my eyes.

Memories of what had transpired were hazy, but I knew all of it happened in the night.

And it was still the night.

"Not that long, huh?"

"Oh? Good morning, princess."

I felt that there was a strangely high number of women calling me princess, but I didn't mind it for now. I slowly turned my gaze upward and saw Irina Lester sitting near the bed, in my room of the inn.

"Argh. I guess I was out for an hour?"

"Nope. Almost twenty four."

Almost twenty four. I see.

"Wait what?"

"It's been an entire day."

I raised my hands and covered my face.

"Fuck."

"Yup. Guess we'll be staying here another night."

This was the worst.

Summer vacation was about to end in a few days! Every single moment was important!

I tried to get up, but I fell back on the bed.

"Yeah, Eugy. Give up on leaving today."

"Why…?"

The pain coursing through my body intensified. It was similar to the unfathomable, bottomless pain I felt from Titania that last time, but I could bear it now.

"You abused the spirits like shit. They loved your drunk form."

Argh…

When I looked outside again.

The entire plains beyond were folded in half as a new mountain had been birthed.

"Yup, that was you…"

"Fuck..."