This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

"L...ord Eugene?"

"Shush."

I quietened down the girl next to me and stepped inside the room. She awkwardly looked around for a few seconds before sighing and following right after me inside the room. Lady Sophia closed the door behind her while I snapped my finger and summoned a small orb of light with my magic.

The room lit up in a second and the man on the ground came to view. His scraggly beard coupled with his stupid clothes and the bottle of absinthe in his hands made him resemble a desperate beggar more than an alchemist.

Like a rat running for its burrow, the man flailed around the room filled with glass flasks and documents as he searched for something. His hands then fell on a vial.

"Fucker! What's your problem!?" He screamed and tossed the vial.

I held my face in a disappointed frown as the vial stopped midair.

Lady Sophia's psychokinesis was very quick and precise. Magicians didn't usually practice it since it wasn't much more use than picking up a cup from afar or switching off the lights from your bed, but she made it seem like a completely different spell with her skills.

"W-what!"

This guy was panicking too much. This was already the last alchemist we came to, so we were really hoping he was the one who made that bomb.

I didn't have the patience to handle him anymore. We only had a few hours left before the day ended and left us with barely four days to make do with. A wasted day was not acceptable.

"Explosives, gunpowder, human bombs, did you make them?"

Lady Sophia sighed and shook her head while the stupid alchemist froze in place.

"Are his eyes trembling, my lady?"

"They most definitely are, my lord."

Despite seeming disappointed, she sure was having fun.

"L-lady... lord...? Are you guys nobles...? I'll make anything for you, ok? I will."

This fucker.

I stepped ahead and clenched his hair in my hands and raised his body.

"You asshole. You've colluded with a demon's agent."

"Demon's agent—?!"

This was our guy after all. I punched him smack-dab in the face. It seemed like he would roll away from the force, but I was holding his hair tight, a handful fell off anyway but that was ok.

We had already revised this for the first six, but this was the first time we got to use it.

"Don't believe me?" I asked and clapped my hands twice.

Alcoholic Alchemists. A person who wasn't afraid of either the repercussions of making deals with the laws of nature or the viles of alcohol, if there was one thing that could scare such a person...

Right then, the door opened again and a young man wearing white priest's robes stepped inside the room, and behind him, a tank of a human being covered in a white cloak with golden embroidery.

"Church of the Sun God...?"

Something that could scare such a person was none other than an inquisitor.

I took a step back and crossed my arms. The metal hippo for a man stepped into the room, crushing the papers and apparatus underneath his feet before grabbing the man by his collars.

"You demon worshipper!"

"AAAAH! PLEASE DON'T TORTURE ME!!" The man screamed. "I don't want to be tortured for ten thousand years! I didn't do anything! I promise!!"

The robed figures lips curved into a smile as he punched the guy. Seriously, all of them were having fun, weren't they?

"Then! Prove! It!"

"Explosives!? You said explosives?" The alchemist shouted again, smacking his head against the ground. "That man came here a while ago! He gave me a lot of money and materials and told me to make bombs that could fit a human. It wasn't tough so I did it! He didn't show me his face but instead sent a different person each time to take a bomb!!"

"HOW! MANY!?"

The megaphone for a human tongue shook the entire house. This guy was too much in character.

"15! I made 15!"

At last, the cloaked man smiled and dropped the person.

He dusted his hands, as if proud of himself.

​ At that time, the one in priest robes shook his head and pulled the few remaining hairs of the alchemist again.

"Do you remember their faces?"

"I'll remember them! I'll remember them!!"

"Good, then come with us."

The robed figure smacked the alchemist on the back of his head and knocked him out. The alcoholic alchemist fell to the ground, frothing at the mouth.

The two figures knocked back their hoods, revealing their faces. It was none other than Sir Buhini and Alec.

Sir Buhini started laughing like a maniac as the man fainted.

"Truly, lord Eugene, what a splendid idea to dress up as priests and inquisitors," he guffawed as he spoke. "I never thought I'll get to see one of those damned alchemists scared witless like this!"

"Oh, he's just getting started," I said. "We are lucky the demon's agent was so focused on safety. We'll be able to catch the exploding bastards with this."

"I'll verify he gets one the same as that one from the factory. That said, what do you mean he's just getting started?"

"We don't have time, sir Buhini," I said and turned to Lady Sophia. She nodded and continued.

"We'll pin the blame on him and utilize all the available forces?"

I nodded.

"The mastermind behind the exploding people, this way we'll all be safe and happy, right?"

"I think it's a splendid plan," Lady Sophia nodded. "Finding out such a person on your own, you should be proud, Sir Buhini."

"You..." Sir Buhinis's face hardened. In return for keeping Sophia's, or rather, the Mirxa's slip-up hush-hush, we were giving him the credit for catching the mastermind. A mastermind we were cooking up. "You want me to engage in such dishonesty? After cooperating so much?"

"It's not dishonesty, sir Buhini," Lady Sophia said. "But rather a deal. You're going to make a small lie to help keep the stability of this place."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Do you think the Marquis doesn't know how we are moving?" Sophia asked. "It's natural that he does, and he is letting us move around despite knowing it. It's because he wants to avoid any instability. But if the Marquis knows, then he won't be the only one who does. The heiress of Mirxa and the extremely promising young lord who built up a city at just 14, it's natural people will be vary of such a pair."

"And if they find anything, they'll be picking at the Marquis? Do you think he's such a feeble ruler?" The knight said. "The Marquis of Hall lives by the blade! Shall anyone dare to question him, they'll lose their throats; shall anyone dare to point their fingers at him, they'll lose their hands; and shall anyone dare glare at him, they'll lose their heads!"

"And if it's other the Marquises? The dukes?"

The knight quietened down.

"Fine," sir Buhini said. "Moving with this plan will make it all seem like a coincidence, and will also settle any eyes peering at us."

Politics was sure hard to keep up with. To think all of these were things that were only indirectly affecting us. I was looking forward to the schemes of the rulers of these lands.

"Then, it's settled," I clasped my hands and nodded. "Let's go back, I am starving."

Things were looking much better now