To Kiss An Idol

116 The Monologue

Everyone was quietly listening to Nivritti. They were pondering upon her views on mental health and realised that she was right. So many countries in the world put mental health on the backseat and only worry about their physical health but they have no idea how bad mental health can impact one’s physical health and vice versa.

She made them realise that everyone needed to talk about it, they needed to start the conversation about it. It was the need of the hour. Even though one had no diagnosable mental health problem, they still needed to talk to a professional for the betterment of their mental health.

If one had a physical health problem, they could openly visit a doctor and their fans would pray for their fast recovery. Why can’t it be the same with mental health problems? Every public figure had to face public scrutiny on daily basis and that impacts mental health, which affects mood. Constantly burying emotions can impact negatively every aspect of one’s life. And it was high time that someone started talking about it.

Kyung-Soo knew how much therapy helped Nivritti in her life. He knew what happened to her after her heartbreak and how not only she, but her parents too had to go to therapy to realise what she was going through and how to handle her needs and help her. He looked fondly at her for helping him and his team members understand how much talking about mental health issues was important.

Everyone kept glancing at Nivritti trying to ask a million questions they had in their mind, but no one knew where to start.

“So, therapy has helped you a lot?” asked Young-Chul.

“There was a time in my life when I was completely broken. Therapy brought me back on my feet,” replied Nivritti.

“How does this therapy work?” inquired Young-Chul.

“Simple, go to a doctor. Tell them about your problems, feelings, emotions, whatever you think you can talk about. Even if it is about your childhood, your friendship, your relationships or your idol lives, just talk,” answered Nivritti.

.....

“What if I have nothing to talk about?” asked Korain.

“Go and talk about your day. Just tell a joke, anything, just talk. Slowly you will feel easy with the doctor and finally be open about the issues that you really wanted to talk about,” replied Nivritti.

“That easy, huh,” teased Kyung-Soo.

“No, NK, no, it’s not easy. Opening up about your life with a stranger is not easy. But somehow it gets easy to talk with someone whom you know can never talk about your deepest, darkest secrets to anyone else. Isn’t that the reason we try avoiding talking to other people because we don’t want to spill our tea, because of the fear of judgement? That is the best thing about the therapist, they never judge, they just help. But you need a professional who can diagnose and prescribe therapy or medicine, whatever is your need,” educated Nivritti.

“So, you are an expert?” asked Thae.

“No, Thae, I am not even close. All I can tell you is that therapy is good for your mind, for your heart, for the burden that you are holding in your heart. Life would be less painful, that’s for sure,” she smiled at him.

“So, you have been in therapy multiple times?” inquired Him-Chan.

“Yes, I have, and it helped me a lot,” replied Nivritti with gusto. She glanced at Kyung-Soo as he knew everything about her and her therapy history. She again looked at Him-Chan and continued, “I am still searching for one in Seoul but have not found one yet. I really need to get help from a professional as I know my screaming after seeing a dog is getting annoying.” She tried to lighten the mood and looked at Thae, adoringly. Thae too understood her tease and smiled at her. “You too should come with me for your anger management issues,” Nivritti mocked Thae.

“Ritti!” sulked Thae, childishly that made everyone laugh at him.

“If you want to find a therapist, why didn’t you ask Oppa?” for the first time, Jae-Hwa spoke with confidence in ASD’s presence. Nivritti looked at her impressed. Kyung-Soo felt uncomfortable after the mention of Jae-Geung.

“Hey! I just met him. I could not bother him with my problems,” replied Nivritti. That made Kyung-Soo happy. At least Nivritti was treating Jae-Hwa’s brother as a stranger.

“Then let me ask my Oppa to help you,” offered Jae-Hwa.

“His hospital has a Psychiatric wing?” inquired Nivritti.

“Yes. I told you that is the biggest hospital in Seoul,” Jae-Hwa rolled her eyes. Kyung-Soo’s eyes too widened.

“Did she say the biggest hospital in Seoul? It means that Jae-Geung is a doctor in the most prestigious hospital in Seoul, Seoul General Hospital. He must be a genius as he got a job in that hospital. Oh, why is he such a good and intelligent person? I want to hate him but every piece of information about him is good,” pondered Kyung-Soo and kept biting his nails.

“Oh, talking about your Oppa, please give him this,” Nivritti stood up, took out a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to Jae-Hwa.

Kyung-Soo’s mouth fell open. “What is this? Why is she asking to give him this?”

Jae-Hwa saw a white piece of folded cloth and inquired, “what is this?”

“His handkerchief, that I borrowed,” replied Nivritti. Jae-Hwa hesitated for a minute. “Don’t worry, I cleaned it,” said Nivritti.

“Ritti borrowed his handkerchief? What the hell? Calm down, NK! He is way behind. You gave her your clothes, he just gave his handkerchief,” thought Kyung-Soo.

“Ohh... a handkerchief of a man,” teased Korain. Kyung-Soo squinted his eyes at his Hyung but Korain paid no attention to him. He was even oblivious to what Kyung-Soo was thinking or feeling at that moment.

“Ew! Don’t give that expression. It’s just a handkerchief. I had no hair tie and he helped me. Chill!” Nivritti shut him down instantly.

“Hey!” shouted Jae-Hwa. “Why are you saying ‘ew’ to my brother?”

“No, no, no, I never said ‘ew’ to your brother. I said ‘ew’ to Korain’s thoughts and expression. I can never say ‘ew’ to a person. Sorry if you felt offended,” Nivritti immediately clarified her position.

Jae-Hwa stared at her angrily and growled, “hmm... then it’s okay. I thought you were insulting my brother.”

“No, never, Jae. I can never. Sorry,” apologised Nivritti.

“Apology accepted,” said Jae-Hwa, pretending to be hurt but her cute face betrayed her.

Dae had enough of this drama. He wanted to get away from everyone. Nivritti kept talking about mental health and he found that bizarre. “She even went to therapy. How stupid is she? People with strong mentalities never need help. Mental health issues are a hoax created by doctors who cannot diagnose certain people with issues. They don’t know the name of the disease or the root of the behavioural problem, and they say something is wrong with their brain.

“We too use to be sad but no, nowadays kids are not sad they are depressed. I never had the luxury to be depressed. I had to bust my ass to get to this position. These youngsters nowadays take everything for granted. They want everything on a silver platter. If they don’t get it, they get depressed. They change emotions like they change their clothes and then call themselves bipolar.

“She is now saying to support mental health issues. Then she will tell the ASD to date in public or to get married or come out as gay. What nonsense? What hold this she-devil has on these boys? If she would have been beautiful, I could have understood for a minute. Jae-Hwa is much prettier than her. Standard Korean beauty! Her red bangs enhance her rosy cheeks. Jae-Hwa is cute but this shrew is ugly as hell. Yeah, she has a nice body, but I don’t like her face. I don’t like her brain or her ideas. What does Choi-ssi see in her? Why did he hire her? I was opposed to her recruitment. I have to find out. Is she a product of nepotism like Jae-Hwa? Should I ask Jae-Hwa? She must know.

“God! I hate her. I am the senior of this team, yet these stupid boys treat her like she is the senior, like she is my boss. I need to get her fired. I need to take over this team. I need the next bonus. I need to overpower her somehow. I need to do something to show that she is incompetent. Then only Choi-ssi will go against her. Is she a witch? Has she done some magic over everyone? I know I am immune to such nonsense, that’s why I don’t like her. From early on, I can tell if someone is good or not. Just like Thae, his sixth sense is legendary but he too failed before her.

“Not me, no one can fool me. Beware Nivritti! I am on to you. My eyes are fixed on you. You will make a mistake and I will be there to punish you. Even if you don’t make mistake, I will fashion a mistake for you. Mark my words! You will be gone. I have tried to be a bigger person since you arrived. But then you stole my position for giving an idea for Rencontre, then you stole my bonus.

“I have been working for years and these boys only treat me as a colleague, but they called you, their friends. Choi-ssi stood for you. He scolded everyone in the script team for not being friends with you. He again scolded everyone because you asked him to, for Jae-Hwa. Don’t even think for a minute that I am jealous of you. You are not even in my league. You are a rookie, I am an expert. You can write decent scripts, I write legendary ones. I know both English and Korean, you just know English. Your CV was so boring that I didn’t even complete it, then how can you write good scripts, haah...

“I need to get away from all this,” he finished his monologue and stood from his seat.

“Where are you going Seong-ssi? Lunch would be arriving soon,” said Kyung-Soo.

“Ohh, just to the bathroom. I will be back in a minute,” Dae smiled, as awkwardly as possible.