To Kiss An Idol

63 The Flashback – The Cheating

My heart stopped beating with the anticipation of an answer. Maybe my problems were about to vanish. The real happiness in my life was about to knock. But I was still scared to hope, to hope for a better life, to hope for getting old with the man whom I loved.

“They said... they said...” he gulped.

“What, Ritvik?” I was done with nicknames.

“They said... No.”

Instantly a tear dropped from my eyes. I could hear the shattering of my heart. I was right to be scared to hope. I didn’t deserve any happiness. God was punishing me.

“What happened Ritvik? What did you say? What did they say? Please tell me the details,” I pleaded.

“Well, my dad was suspicious that I had someone in Delhi. He asked me about you, and I had to tell him that I liked you. He then asked if I wanted to marry you and I said yes. But he said that I cannot marry you. You belong to a different caste, a different community, sorry my parents won’t accept you ever,” he replied casually as if he felt nothing for me. I was just a fling with whom he was passing the time.

I could feel my blood boil. “You asshole!” I chided him. “You said you would talk to them but your dad asked you about me. You didn’t even have the courage to start the conversation. And you said you like me, like me? What happened to ‘loving me’? Was all that a lie? Now I am of a different caste and community, where were these caste and community when you professed your love for me, when you slept with me, when you got me pregnant? Your parents won’t accept me? Your parents won’t accept me?? Your motherfucker! Absolute bastard! Now you tell me after showing me the dream of marriage and family for years. I stopped talking to my family for years. They have still not called me. They didn’t even want to know if I am alive or dead and you say your parents won’t accept me. My parents won’t accept me, your parents won’t accept me, you won’t accept me, then what I am doing in this world? I should die, don’t you think?”

“Ritz!” he begged.

.....

But I was not done. “Don’t you call me by my name,” I shrieked. “You are dead to me. I hate you. You took my everything, Ritvik. Now, I am just a shell of a person, nothing more. I lost everything, my friend, my boyfriend, my fiancé, my family, my future kid, I even lost my future, Ritvik. And everything is because of you. Because you are a coward. I have been fighting for our love, but you just gave up on me. I was never your priority, you never fought for me. You stayed with me because I was convenient, our relationship was convenient, nothing else ever mattered to you.”

“Ritz please, listen to me. I have something to tell you,” he interrupted again.

And I continued without paying him any heed, “I did everything for you. And you gave me tears and remorse. Do you have any idea that since I have been in a relationship with you, I have always been crying for one or the other thing? Before you, I was happy, I had friends and then you came into my life. I stopped going out with them because I wanted to spend time with you. You were even jealous of my male friends, I stopped talking to them too, for you, all for you. You were jealous of my promotion and ran away. My parents hit me, abused me, because of you, but still, I chose you. And your father just said no and that was it. Just a word and you folded. I must not have mattered to you at all. Well then, nice knowing you. Goodbye, asshole!”

And I disconnected the call and threw my phone at the wall. With a loud thud, the phone smashed into the wall and then dropped to the floor. But the irritating phone kept ringing. Leaving the phone on the floor, I ran to the bedroom. I jumped on the bed and covered my ears with my pillow to drain out the noise.

I was on the bed for almost an hour in the same position. My hands and feet were numb. My phone stopped ringing. I recalled everything I said to him and realised that it was years since I went clubbing. I sat up on the bed and wiped my tears.

Taking out my makeup kit, I changed my look. With smokey eyes and dark red lipstick I was looking sultry. I wore my off-shoulder red bodycon dress and booked a cab. I never drank in my life but that day I wanted to drink whole night. I didn’t care about the smell or taste I just wanted to numb my senses.

I went to Connaught Place where the best of the clubs is situated. I entered the club and directly approached the bar. I asked for a suggestion and the bartender suggested me cocktails. I started with cocktails and moved to Vodka. I danced my heart out after that.

On the dance floor, a man approached me, and we struck up a conversation. Straight forward he asked me if I was looking for a good time and I said yes. I was looking for a good time. I wanted good times in my life, I wanted all the bad times to leave. I was desperately in need of good times.

I remember kissing him in his car and then I woke up in his bed, naked. I had a faint recollection of the sex that I had last night. He had to go to his office in the morning, but I wanted to sleep in, so he let me sleep in his bed and left me alone.

The whole day, the whole afternoon, and the whole evening I kept sleeping. I didn’t have my phone with me, so I had no idea what time it was. Somehow, I dragged myself from the bed and went to his living room to see the time. It was six in the evening.

“Shit!” I groaned when I saw the time. My head was pounding with pain. It felt as if someone was hammering a nail in my head. My head was ready to burst open with pain. I rubbed my temple, collected my purse and my shoes, and left his house. I don’t even know who he was. I don’t even remember his face. I just know that I slept with him. I had a one-night stand with a stranger, yet I was not numb.

I was still pissed off at Ritvik.

“Ritvik! Shit!” I suddenly realised that he wanted to talk to me after I disconnected the phone. Did he want to say that he didn’t care about his parents and wanted to live his life with me? My heart sank when I realised that I might have cheated on him.

I ran to the streets and immediately booked a cab and returned to my home. The moment I opened the door, I ran to pick up the phone that was still on the ground. I looked at the phone, the screen was shattered in pieces. I was impressed that even after that the phone kept working.

The phone was dead now. The battery drained after receiving repeated calls. I instantly plugged the phone into the charger. The screen lit up saying that the battery was zero percent. I waited for a minute till the phone reached one percent.

As soon as the phone displayed one percent, I switched it on. It took a minute for the software to start working again. After a minute, the notification started chiming in. There were 40 calls and one message. My heart jumped out of my chest. He called me 40 times.

I immediately opened the message.

“I will leave for Delhi at night and reach there in the morning. We have to talk. I have something to tell you. Don’t leave for the office early, wait for me,” the message read.

My mouth fell open. My heart leapt out of my chest. I broke down after reading the message. He called me a cheater and now I was a cheater. I could not stop tears from falling from my eyes. He came to meet me, and I was not here. He came to meet me after he talked with his parents, and I was not here. What did I do in anger? I was dejected. I was crying inconsolably.

But now I had to act fast. I had to find him. I had to hear from him that he chose me the same way I chose him. I wiped my tears and went to my neighbour. I asked him if he saw Ritvik and he replied that he came looking for him. He waited for about half an hour and then went to his writing room.

He was waiting for me. I had to go to him. I had to see him. I had to talk to him. But what was waiting for me, I could not even imagine in my wildest dreams.