Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Phew, that was a good bath,”

“Baths are awesome ~”

“Baths feel really good right?”

I went to enjoy the baths with Dora-chan and Sui since this is the last night we could do so in this house. As expected of a house that used to belong to an aristocrat. The baths here are amazing, magnificently spacious and gorgeous. I feel a little sad about not being able to enjoy it much longer.

“Aruji~ Sui wants a sweet drink before bed~”

“Oh, sounds good, I feel like having something sweet too.” Dora-chan flapped lazily around us.

Ah, I guess the desire for something sweet and milky after getting out of the bath is rather universal, eh?

“Yes, yes, I’ll give it to you once we’re upstairs,” I promised.

Fer was already relaxing on his futon bed in the master bedroom.

“Fer, I’m giving Dora-chan and Sui some fruit milk, do you want some too?”

“Umu, yes,”

I bought the fruit milk from [Net Super] and filled their plates.

“When you finish drinking, just leave the plates where they are. I have something I need to do in the other room.”

“Nu, what is it?”

“That thing, that thing with the Gods.”

“Oh, is that so? Then, you should do your best and work properly.”

Work properly? I really have no idea what ‘work properly’ means when it comes to these gods and goddesses…

“Hey Fer, the Gods and Goddesses should know everything about this world right?”

“That’s right, they are Higher Beings after all.”

Hmm, good point. Then, they should know something about the Avering Dungeon right? I should shake some information out of them.

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com ^_^

“Hello? Is everyone there-?”

As soon as I called out, a chorus of voices answered me. [5]

“We have been waiting ~”

“What took you so long!?”

“We waited and waited-!”

“… cake,”

“Ou! You’re finally here.”

“I’m getting tired of waiting.”

I’m… getting the impression that these Gods and Goddesses are probably a bit too obsessed with products from another world.

“It can’t be helped, the things from your world are too delicious!”

Oh, so you’re going for the direct attack?

As expected of this useless pantheon of gods. [1] Whatever, let’s just get this over with.

“Ninril-sama, would you like to have the same as usual?”

“What do you mean ‘useless’? How could you be so rude to your betters ~ Anyway, this mistress wants Fujiya cakes as usual.”

Oops, I have forgotten they could read my mind.

Ah well, I opened up [Net Super] and went to the Fujiya Cakes section. [5]

“Oh, it looks like they have some new products. Do y-”

“Wh-what is it?! Show me! Show me!”

I showed her the page, [3] “Here they are.”

“Nuuooooooo, everything looks so gorgeous and delicious! All of them! All of them! I want them all!”

Very well, all the new products. I grimly checked the box for all the new stuff, these included: Mango Roll Cake, a refreshing looking Mango Short Cake served in a glass bowl, a No-Bake Cheese Cake with Mango Sauce, Mango Jelly, and finally, Almond Jelly topped with Cubed Mango & Other Fruits.

I put everything into the cart.

“Anything else? Would you like to continue down the list of cakes or… hmm, looks like they have added a line of Fruit Tarts and Mille Crepe slices, would you like those instead?”

“Muu, those looked delicious. Yes, yes, I want those too!”

I added a Fruit Tart and a Mille Crepe slice into the cart. There isn’t a lot of budget left, “How about getting an assortment of tea cakes with the rest of your budget? [5]”

“An assortment of tea cakes?! Yes! Yes to it all!” [5]

I entered her order and turned to the next customer. “Kishar-sama, if you please?”

“Yes, it is I, Kishar’s turn. The lotion and cream set was really excellent. I am pleasantly surprised by how firm and supple my skin feels the next morning. I want something from the same series.”

Well, those were really expensive, top tier stuff after all. So, it’s good that she likes them. Let’s see, what other products they have in this series. Hm… this 30ml beauty essence looked promising.

“This is a beauty essence from the same series. It costs 8 silver and 5 bronze coins, what do you think?”

“Oh? What kind of effect does it have? Never mind, since it’s from the same series, I’m sure it’ll also be very good. I’ll have it!”

Such high handed attitude…

Clearly, when it came to beauty, women don’t hesitate. Kishar-sama dropped over 8 silver coins on a single 30ml bottle of beauty essence. I really can’t understand it… I don’t think any man could understand it…

“What would you like to buy with the remaining 1 silver and 5 bronze coins?”

“Oh, just give me some soaps. [4] I’m going to bestow gifts to those lower deities under my command.”

[4] [6] “I-is that right?” I asked, even as I looked through various packets of soap bars.

[4] “Mmm, this kind of thing cannot be kept under wraps forever. However, I can stop the mouths of people under me with a little reward.” She sounded very smug, “Accepting my gifts meant promising a vow of silence.”

Err, I have no idea what the politics between various gods and goddesses are like, but if you want soap, sure, I’ll give you soap. [6] Also, since she’s giving them as gifts…

“Ahem, would you like them all to be rose-scented?”

“Hm, no. Pick out a few types for me.”

“Alright,” I showed her the page that has several different soaps on display. “This is one of my favourites,” indicating a soap decorated with a little pattern of a cow in front. “The scent is not bad, it foams up nicely and good for cleaning.” This brand has a few lines of soaps, but I usually buy the one in the blue box.

“Since Other Worlder-kun recommends it, I shall take it.”

Let’s see, what else should I suggest…

Oh, this one looks good, it says its foam is very creamy in texture. Sounds like something a beauty otaku would like. As for the final one… Oh, I’ve never used this American brand myself, but the reviews looked good. Let’s get that one.

4 kinds of soaps went into the cart. That’s it for Kishar-sama.

“Agni-sama is next. Please state what you want.”

“Oooh, that’s right. This Fire Goddess just wants beers. While beer snacks are nice, this time I want beer only. Just give me whatever you think is good. After all, beers from the other world are especially delicious.”

[5] I… remember I gave her quite a lot of beers last time. 1 case of beer, plus 3 packs of half a dozen cans. The case has 42 cans of 350ml beer… Agni-sama, did you drink that all up in one week?

That can’t be good.

“Aaaahhh… Beer is most delicious after a good workout and the best nightcap just before bed. Before I knew it, it’s all gone, hahahaha!”

… this is not a hahaha matter, I do believe Agni-sama is turning into an alcoholic.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. In fact, I’m feeling more awesome than usual. The delicious beer must have a great effect on my spirits, hahaha!”

Well, Kishar-sama is a goddess. So, I guess she doesn’t have to bother about the limits of an ordinary human. After all, gods and goddesses should have much longer lifespans and don’t get sick that easily, right?

“Alright, so just beer?” I had to confirm one more time.

“Ou! Just beer,”

Hmm, I bought a case of Company A’s premium beer last time, so let’s get a case of Company S’s beer this time. [5] Next, let’s get the six-pack beers from Company A and Y-bis. Oh, I should get a six-pack of Company A’s black beer too.

I also picked out a six-pack of Company K’s special pale lager with a nice grain aroma and crisp flavour, as well as a six-pack of Company S’s Black Label beer.

That should do it. I thought of getting happoshu [8], Japanese low-malt beer, but since Agni-sama says beer, [6] I should stick with items that are officially recognised as beer by the Japanese government.

With this, Agni-sama’s part was over too.

“Next is…”

“Me, Ruka. The food you ate at Verulean looks delicious. However, the cakes Ninril-sama ordered looks good. I think cake is better. I want the new cakes.”

Oh? Ruka-sama is getting rather specific with her orders now.

“Would you like to have what Ninril-sama is ordering?”

“The same, but, I want ice-cream too.”

Ice-cream, is it…

“How about taking all the limited edition new products along with a selection of ice-cream?” I explained Fujiya’s menu to Ruka-sama. “The new products include the mango cakes and jellies as well as the mille crepes. Additionally, you can choose 8 different Ice-cream Cups.”

“!!! Yes, take everything. Choose the ice-cream for me.”

There were a total of 10 different types of Ice-cream Cups, so I guess she can get the last two next time. By the way, the ones that were left behind were the classic vanilla and chocolate flavours.

That’s it for Ruka-sama. Next is-

“Us!”

“Ou! It’s our turn, na!”

And here we have our liquor loving combo.

“I have no idea what to ask for. Everything from last time was just too delicious. I’m starting to understand that even though all those drinks are called whiskies, there are different grades and types of whiskies. Alcohol from another world is too good.”

“As you said. I have no idea what kind of horse piss I’ve been drinking until now. After getting to know the taste of true liquor, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to that previous stuff.”

These two seemed really addicted to whiskey. Well, I guess the mainstream alcohol here would be ale. My guess is ale is too weak for these two addicts.

“Well, what would you like?”

“That is what bothers me now. I have some favourites, but I still want something new.”

“Same here, same here. What a headache.”

The alcoholic combo seemed to be in quite a pickle.

“I think, no matter what, I must have the ‘World’s Number One Whiskey,” said the War God.

“I agree. Definitely must have that one.”

Well, the world’s best single malt whiskey on earth is manufactured in Japan and comes in a round bottle. [TZ 1]

“Well, Blacksmith God, shall we ask for new things with the rest of the budget? Getting to know new alcohol is pretty important too,”

“But of course, let’s go with that, War God.”

I quickly interjected before they decided to change their minds, “Then, would you like me to select new kinds of whiskies for you?”

“Umu,”

“Aaa,”

Well, from what I know of these two… [5] [6] “How about this one. It’s a little pricey, but it’s described as ‘Deliciously smooth with notes of rich dried fruits and sherry balanced with woodsmoke and spice. A renowned international whiskey writer called it ‘simply the best 12-Year-Old single malt around’?”

“Best 12-Year-Old single malt?!!” the two Gods chorused together.

“Umu, that sounds good.”

“Aa, let’s get that one,”

[6] … there’s no need to act modestly after being all excited, you know?

Whatever, I picked out the next bottle of whiskey. “According to the description, it’s made with winter wheat instead of rye and has a gentle sweetness.”

[10] “Looks good, the colour is an amazing amber brown,”

[10] “Aa, let’s go with that one,”

“According to the budget, you can pick out one more bottle. How about this one? The price is just right. According to the review, this blend was accidentally created when they mistakenly left a few premium casks of whiskey outside in the cold. Later, when they recovered the casks, they found the whiskey to be super smooth,” [6] I am getting quite used to my role as a promoter now.

[10] “Ooh, nice story,”

[10] “Umu, that is indeed intriguing. I wonder what a whiskey left outside in the extreme cold would taste like.”

Yosh, that’s the last of the item on the cart.

After purchasing everything, I placed the goods on their cardboard box altar and put my hands together.

“Everyone, please accept my offerings.”

The words were barely out of my mouth when cheers and whoops from the great pantheon reverberated in my ears…

[TZ 1: Biased much?]

[Gumihou: Actually, I looked it up. He’s… not wrong…]

By the way, The Hakushu 25 is 10 times more expensive than the Macallan

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[8] Happoshu – Sparkling alcoholic beverage, contains lower malt content and classified as ‘almost beers’ or ‘third beer’. The first two being ale and lager.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happoshu

[9] By the way, if you’re interested in the type of alcohol God of War and Blacksmith bought. They are:

The Hakushu – 25 year Old own by Suntory aka ‘Company S’

Either the The Macallan – 12 Year Old Sherry Oak Whiskey

Or The Glendronach, which is also said to be very famous and aged in sherry casks for 12 years, but ‘Macallan’ is famous enough that even I, a non-drinker heard of it.

Bernhheim Original – predominantly winter wheat with corn and barley. Sweet and Fruity

https://blog.distiller.com/wheat-whiskeys/

Old Parr Silver – whiskey blend named after Thomas Parr. The ‘Silver’ was released in 2013. Producers claim that the enhanced Chill-Filtration leaves the Silver much smoother than other comparable blend

http://www.bestshotwhiskyreviews.com/2019/04/old-parr-silver-review.html

[10] Changed Dialogue: Gumihou is sick of ‘Ooh, never had this yet’, ‘Un, I don’t remember’, ‘Let’s get this’… like, are you guys NPCs?