Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Translated by Zzonkedd

Edited by Gumihou

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After a bath with Dora-chan and Sui, I settled down in a corner of the room to conduct the weekly business. [1] Meanwhile, everyone else had gone to sleep, since tomorrow’s the big dungeon challenge day.

“Hello? Is everyone there?” I whispered.

A chorus of, “I’ve been waiting!” answered me, interspersed with, “…cake and ice-cream…” as well as the fake indifference of, “Oh, it’s you,” [5]

“Erm, anyway. The dungeon challenge begins tomorrow. So, considering what happened last time, I’m giving everyone two weeks’ worth of offerings right now.” [5]

“Wait what?! Does that mean we can have 2 gold coins’ worth of offerings today?!”

Ah, that sounds a lot like Deplorable-sama.

“Yes,”

“Yay! Awesome!! Woohoo!” the cheers from the gods and goddesses rang in my inner ear. Why are they so excited? It’s not like I’m giving them anything extra? [5]

“Alright! Me first! Fujiya cakes! Show me the Fujiya cakes! I’m spending everything on cakes!”

“Yes, yes,” [5] I opened up [Net Super] and booted up a page that brought Deplorable-sama to my mind. “Please have a look at this one.”

“Amazing!! Superb!! Gorgeous!! That one! I want that one!!”

On this page was a picture of a huge rectangular cake topped with heaps of cut fruits that shone like jewels. It also cost 9 silver coins. I had mostly shown it to her as a joke…

“You’re sure…?”

“Yes!! That one!!”

Yes, yes, one very large cake goes into the shopping cart. “Anything else? I do believe you haven’t seen this section yet…”

We’re in the gifts section now. I must say, everything looks extra pretty and delicious when packaged nicely like this.

“Mu!? D-d-d-d-dorayaki?! Are those Dorayaki?!”

“Yes, these are Dorayaki,” I said calmly.

“W-why didn’t you tell me they have Dorayaki??!!”

Well, you were the one who had been obsessing over their cakes all this while. “In short, you want the Dorayaki? How many would you like?” [6] Let’s bypass that question altogether.

“10!! I want 10 of them!!”

I placed 10 Dorayaki into the shopping cart. “By the way, Dorayaki comes in other flavours too. There’s the Ogura paste, which is made from crushed whole Adzuki beans. Fujiya also has chestnut and sweet potato Dorayaki…”

“10 of each!!”

“We also have Castella, as you can see-”

“Castella too!”

One Castella.

“Would you like to try Scotch cakes [8]? They are little cakes baked with liquor and comes in a variety of flavours.”

“Ooooh, so many different flavours! Yes, yes, that too!”

Right, an assortment of Scotch Cakes (20pcs).

“For the rest of your budget, let’s see… how about an assortment of pies? Pies are crisp pastry casings filled with sweet fruit.”

“Crisp pastry, hmm, I guess I’ll have that too.”

Right. After putting the final items in for Deplorable-sama, I said, “Next up is Kishar-sama,”

“Exactly. It is I~~ Ufufufufufu, what shall I do with 2 gold coins…”

She sounds… kind of scary like this…

“Both lotion and cream were excellent. Firm skin is the best. I want more. The last thing I want is to run out of my precioussssss.”

I… guess she wants to stock up? My sister also stocks up on her favourite skincare products. Especially the expensive ones.

“For the rest of the budget, hmm. Something from the same line. Do you have a facial wash? Or face masks? I want everything they have. Everything I’ve used thus far makes my skin really soft.”

Oh, as expected from the most practical goddess. Cleansing foam, face mask, as well as the lotion and cream set, I located them easily enough. Oh, but, “The face masks come in a packet of five. Would you like those?”

“Oh, as long as it’s from the same line. I’m fine with anything.”

What a lofty answer. I get it though. Well, not really, but my sister also said the same thing when buying a product they like. “You still have 5 silver coins, is there anything else you like?”

“What are your recommendations?”

Argh, what should I do? Sister, help me!

Oh, right. “How about a massage cream? This one looks easy to use.” I said, reading the related information frantically. “It’s a… gel-type massage cream that can be used on the whole body. No need to wipe off at all. Takes only a minute to absorb. Revitalizes the skin keeping it fresh and firm.”

“Fresh and firm… hmm, yes, I want that one.”

The price of beauty products is too amazing. Just those few things wiped out 2 gold coins!

Dear sister, just how much money did you spend on beauty products?

Never mind, don’t think about it. Let’s not think about it.

“Next, Agni-sama please place your order.”

“Ouu! I’ll take the usual. The beer in the box last time was amazing. Gimme that box of beer again. The golden one is delish too. I also like the taste of the one with the black circle painting. So a box of that one.”

A box? Ah, yes. I sent a case of S Company’s premium beer last time. [2] [5] The ‘golden one’ must be the Y-bis beer which I had been sending a 6-pack of every week. The one with the ‘black circle painting’ must be S Company’s black label beer. I’m starting to get an idea of just what kind of beer Agni-sama likes. [5]

“Anything else?”

“Surprise me. Oh, and some beer snacks too while you’re at it.”

Alright. This time, I’ll add some low-malt beers too. Company K’s No.1 happoshu in 6-pack, Company S’s No.3 canned beer, a particularly refreshing malt-free beer. Also, Company A’s clean tasting beer, also their third best sellers. They are mostly No. 3 because they can’t unseat pure 100% malt beers.

Speaking of which, let’s throw in a 100% malt beer from Company S that I’m pretty sure Agni-sama had not tried yet.

As for snacks… I searched [Net Super] for its Yakitori section and got a bunch of skewers as well as an assortment of fried food from my [Item Box].

“Next up is Ruka-sama, right?”

“…cake and ice-cream… But, I have 2 gold coins. I want food too.”

I nodded, that sounds more sensible than a certain Deplorable-sama’s order. “Which type of cake would you like?”

“Ninril-sama’s big cake order is too big, I want different flavours.”

If it’s a variety you want, then, “How about getting an assortment of shortcakes?” I turned to Fujiya’s gift section for that.

“Yes, all of those.” I entered the selection of 25pcs of shortcakes into the shopping cart.

“Would you like a variety of ice-cream too?”

“Yes, but lots of vanilla.”

Vanilla, eh? I put in a selection of ice-cream cups as well as a whole tub of vanilla ice-cream into the cart… hmm, this one looks promising. “Ruka-sama, what do you think of Ice-Cream Cake?”

“A cake… made from… ice-cream?”

“Yes,”

“Yes! That one!”

Ah, the normally quiet Ruka-sama actually became excited over something. [6] I gave myself a pat on the back on my recommending skills.

“Will it be alright to use the rest of the budget on food?”

“Un,”

I piled on Ruka-sama’s favourites: Gyoza, Yakitori, and Kastudon from [Net Super] as well as Clam Chowder and an assortment of fried seafood from my stock. There, that should do it.

“Finally, Hephaestus-sama and Vulcan-sama.”

“Combine?” [5] [6]

“Combine.”

“First off-

“The Best Whiskey in the World!” they chorused.

Right, the standing order.

“The ‘Highest Peak’ whiskey is good too.”

“Umu, nice aroma, mellow taste. We’ll take one each.”

“Anything else?”

“Hey, War God, what about that bottle sealed with red wax?”

“Oho, that one’s good too.”

“One each. As for the rest of the budget. Give us a selection of your choice.”

“Sounds good. We can try vodka or sake too.” [5]

“I understand, but, please note that we’re running out of new things to try,” I said cautiously. A supermarket only has so much alcohol to offer. It’s not a liquor store after all.

“Umu, we’ve tried almost everything here. As expected, we need to unlock the liquor store.”

“Yeah. Oi, Other Worlder-kun, you know what I’m talking about, yeah?”

Vulcan-sama seemed to be displaying a certain occupational sickness… [2] Still, I had received a good thing from them, so it’s only right for me to give back a little. [5]

“I understand. But please also realise I have no control over the next tenant store, but I shall give it my best.” [5] Better to leave myself a path out in case the worse happens…

“As long as we have an understanding. Hey, God of Blacksmith, I guess we have no choice but to go for the better ones here.” [TZ 1]

“I’m good with that.”

“Let’s have that black bottle again,” Vulcan-sama said imperiously.

Er, if it’s the black bottle, “S Company’s black bottle whiskey, is it this one?”

“Yeah!”

The enthusiasm is incredible.

“Oh, and that black label one!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Ah, it has to be that famous American brand. It even appeared in one of [9] Haruki Murakami’s novels as a character. I’ve never had it though.

I added a few other whiskeys after a some consultation. Finally, “A vodka on the last of your budget?”

“Umu,”

“Yeah,”

Once the two vodkas entered the shopping cart, I checked everything out and arranged the offerings on cardboard box altars.

“Everyone, please pick up your order…”

[6] The cheers were amazing, as usual.

Finally, it’s all over.

Well, tomorrow’s our dungeon challenge, so better get some sleep.

[TZ 1: Funny how the Gods are starting to sound like the Yakuza, haha]

[Gumihou: Well, he IS the God of War. So being threatening is probably a default mode. An ‘occupational sickness’ so to speak.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Scotch Cakes – Japanese Style. Apparently, pound cakes or butter cakes baked with liquor

The link below will lead you to Fujiya’s Scotch Cake selections. Yes, the shop really does exist, lol. It’s one of the premier confectionary shop in Ginza, Tokyo.