Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

The Adventurers and I were both stunned to see each other.

I, I’m sorry?

This is a dangerous dungeon where Adventurers often risk their lives and limbs to make a living while I… I am cooking food on a magic stove…

I felt like I should rethink some of my life choices…

On the other hand, Fer was impatient for his food.

“Oi, hurry up.”

That woke me up from my daze. The random Adventurers who had just arrived looked a little surprised to see a talking Fer. However, instead of commenting on it, they merely said ‘Hello’ to me.

Unsure what else to do, I replied with a ‘hello’.

““Oi, feed us!””

This time, it was Dora-chan who rushed me.

Hey, can’t you guys read the atmosphere at all? Can’t you feel the awkward in the air?

Hahh… I guess I should just feed them, otherwise, they would just make more trouble for me. This, I slid the Bread Pies onto wooden plates and served them.

“Well, there you go.”

The first portion for everyone is always the same, after that, I just adjust according to how many ‘seconds’ they want.

“”Delicious!””

“Umu, the vegetables are unnecessary, but it’s still delicious.”

You say that but you still eat those Bread Pies passionately, chomping down two at a time with no breaks in between. That is way too fast, even for you.

““Yummy~””

“”Delish!””

Seeing how fast the pies were disappearing, I put on the second tray of Pirozhki Bread Pies into the oven.

The smell of bread and meat being grilled was starting to fill the safe area, drawing the eyes of those Adventurers. I know I’m making them drool with hunger, but I can’t just stop cooking.

For one thing, Fer’s food cannot be neglected. For another, my wealth and safety all depended on my familiars, so of course, I have to treat them well.

There was a ‘ding’ from the timer and I took the Bread Pies out…

Grr…

Ggggrrrr….

The growling… came from various stomachs.

[8] I looked over at the group of Adventurers. They were all red-faced with shame as they tried to look away, but their stomachs kept crying out.

“Ahem, apologies. Your food smells too delicious, I’m afraid we just can’t help it…” the Adventurer who spoke was about 2 meters tall, with log-like arms, bulging muscles, shaggy long hair and a bristling beard. He was dressed in leather armour and wielded a large axe. He looked like the very definition of a ‘foreign barbarian’.

[8]

The other party members coughed, looked away and muttered to themselves.

“Oh, ah, no, no, I should be the one to apologise. Sorry for cooking in this place.”

“No, no, it’s just, we have been Adventurers for quite a while now, but this is the first time I see someone cooking with a magic stove in the dungeon. Gahahaha!”

“Actually, I did hear something about it,” said a macho looking Adventurer with a sword. He looked to be in his mid-twenties about 120cm tall with slitted eyes, he also has a fluffy tail and dog ears.

Rumours? Just what kind of rumours are they talking about?

“Um, you must be Mukouda-san, right? The S Ranker with a Fenrir,” a cute girl about 17 or 18 years old, dressed in cute mage robes looked up at me with cute eyes. The way she bobbed and smiled was also very cute.

Unable to resist the cuteness, I said, “Yes, that’s me.”

Naturally, I can’t help but smile at the cute girl with her brilliant blonde hair and pretty blue eyes, she looked like a sweet French doll, but her lack of chest was a little disappointing.

“I guess the rumours are true after all, [5]” a tall and beautiful female Adventurer with an athletic build, short brown hair and tanned skin stepped forward with her spear. She looked to be in her twenties too.

The big Adventurer said, “Ou, now that you mention it. I seem to have some recollections.”

[5] As if to prove them right, Fer suddenly said, “Oi, where are my seconds?”

“Ahaha, duty calls,” I said as I worked to refill my familiars’ plates.

“Fufu, I’d be willing to be someone’s familiar if I’m fed like that,” said a dwarf with a huge hammer on his back.

[8]

[9] “Humph, I don’t want you as my familiar,” snapped Fer.

“Fer!” I hissed at him. There are girls here!

Anyway, after feeding my familiars, I turned my best smile at the newcomers

“Ahem, it’s not much, but would you like some?”

“Oh my, this is really good~”

The remark was made by the 2-meter-tall Adventurer, Aleksandrov-san (just call me Alek!) said as he cheerfully chewed on his fourth Bread Pie.

“Hey, show some restraint, you! Mukouda-san, please accept my apologies on my husband’s behalf~” said Fatima-san as she smacked Aleksandrov in the chest… She was the dark-skinned, athletic woman.

When I learned that these two were married. I had the urge to corner Alek-san and ask him what his secret is. Just how did a barbarian like him manage to snag a beauty like Fatima-san?

[8] “It’s quite unusual to eat something like this in a dungeon,” said Axel, the handsome beastman. He was on his third Bread Pie.

“Oh my, look at you. You’re spilling food all over yourself,” Adelmira-chan, the cute blonde girl with cute blue eyes was patting at Axel-san’s chest.

It was clear to anyone with eyes that she was in love with Axel.

What the heck? It’s the face, isn’t it? Isn’t it!!??

“Gahahaha! This liquor’s the best!”

Naturally, the one to make that remark was the dwarf, Samuel-san.

The five of them were all A Rankers from the [Pentagram] party. They had been challenging this dungeon for the past two years.

“We ranked up recently and decided to challenge one of the deeper floors [4] for the Iron Golem ore.”

[4]

“Ou, that’s right. This beauty is made from the best magic iron collected from Iron Golems,” said Samuel-san proudly.

The women groaned good-naturedly.

Alek-san sighed, “I, too, want a magic iron giant axe…”

“A magic iron sword for me,” murmured Axel-san.

“How are you, ah, dealing with the Iron Golems?” I asked.

“Hm, they are definitely more difficult to deal with compared to Stone Golems, but we do have a strategy for it,” said Alek-san.

“We basically just beat them if we can, and run away when we can’t,” said Axel-san with a shrug. “I’d like to upgrade my sword, but not at the expense of my life. There have been too many Iron Golems for us to handle, it’s better to return to the upper floors and deal with the mixed group of Iron and Stone Golems instead. Our progress would be slower, but it’s safer.”

[5a]

I could totally get behind a plan that emphasises safety.

“So, you’ll be returning soon?” I asked.

This time, it was Fatima who answered. “Yes, we gathered here to rest and recover before making a break for the stairs. There are some Iron Golems guarding that place, so we’ll need to be at our best.”

“We’re running out of food too,” Adelmira sighed. “We’re so lucky to encounter Mukouda-san. I feel like I came back to life after eating such delicious food~”

“Ah, thank you for the compliments, but aren’t we right next to the Boss Room?”

“Eh?!!”

“That is, we plan to tackle the Boss Room tomorrow and decide to take a break today.”

“Wait, wait, if this is true… just how far from the stairs are we?!” Adelmira shrieked. [10]

[Gumihou: Gumi abuse of the word ‘cute’ since Mukouda is a thirsty, thirsty dog.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information… starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Deleted entire scene where Pentagram men suddenly became very chatty aunties about their fighting strategy and their weapons.

Gumi did say details are important. But important details are important, the rest are… well, superfluous details are just boring. Especially since the whole exchange was primed to end with ‘luckily we encounter Mukouda and had a good meal, we are energetic now’.

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken – Embellished the hungry Adventurers’ situation and reaction.

Also, the dialogues.

[9] Adjust the jokes to something more interesting than the usual tropey tropes. Include mention of girls, which, for some reason, Author-san did not include after the ‘cute abuse’

[10] Changed the ending, convey the same meaning but in a less robotic and tropey way.