Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Why are you here, Elland-san?” [1] I asked stupidly. Stupidly. I know the question was stupid the moment it was out of my mouth, because, why would a dragon craze person come to the doorstep of someone who had just made a contract with an Ancient Dragon? Really, am I stupid?

“Why? That’s because I heard it!! [2] The moment I received the notification from the magic tool my heart began to palpitate. It’s an Ancient Dragon! An Ancient Dragon! How can I stay still when I know there’s an Ancient Dragon!!”

Elland-san was practically snorting steam from his nostrils from sheer excitement.

“When I heard that my good and wonderful friend, my absolute best friend, Mukouda-san had contracted an Ancient Dragon as his familiar, I was incredibly jealous! I was so envious that I nearly burst into tears, however, I convinced myself that there was nothing I could do about it., but to see the bright side! That, I, Elland, could meet with an Ancient Dragon!!”

“Wait, who’s your best friend?” [3]

“Mukouda-san already has the adorable Dora-chan, and now he has an Ancient Dragon! [2] I have received a revelation. I must return to my career as an Adventurer and join Mukouda-san on his journey!”

“Wait, wait, wait, hold it, what’s this about becoming an Adventurer again? Aren’t you a Guild Master?” [3]

“Ah, about that. No worries, I have resigned.”

“… haahh?”

“Do not worry, I have already sent in my resignation letter to the Guild Headquarters at the Capital through the magic tool before coming. I have also left a letter to Ugor, so there is no problem at all.” [3]

“No wait, I think there is a really big problem here!”

“No problem, no problem, speaking of which, where is the Ancient Dragon?”

I can feel my eye twitching. There is no getting through this dragon crazy elf… [3]

“Let me get this straight, Elland-san. You abandoned your job and left without telling Ugor-san, didn’t you?”

“I left a letter…”

“If a single letter is fine, Ugor-san won’t be angry all the time!”

“Ah, well, that is…”

This stupid Elf can’t even look me in the eye.

“Go back to Doran before things get worse, Elland-san,” I said tiredly.

“No! I have decided! I shall join Mukouda-san’s party and go on Adventures!” Elland-san’s eyes were sparkling with motivation.

Haahhh??? When did you decide this? At the very least, I know that Dora-chan would despise the very idea.

“That… I’m sorry, but-”

Elland-san suddenly fell to his knees and cried, “No, no, Mukouda-san, please don’t say that. Please, please, I’m begging you!! Let me join you, let me join youuuuu!!!”

Tears and snot were mixing together and I really don’t want any on my trousers, “Hey! L-let go! Let go!”

“Mukouda-samaaaaaa, pleaseeeeeee!!!”

[1a] If anything, the powerful S Class arms were starting to crush my leg.

“Elland-san! My leg!” [3]

People were starting to stare. Some were even whispering among themselves. Nooo!! I don’t want to be the topic of next day’s gossip!!

“Goodness me, so Mukouda-san has some interesting hobbies…”

“Hobbies are one thing, but why did he choose this fellow of all things? Isn’t that elf kind of ancient…?”

“Luke! Irvine! Get over here and help me!! Get this weirdo away!!” I ordered in my most strident voice.

However, it was too late, the eyes looking at me were starting to become super weird…

Gah, this root of all evil…

“Elland-san! Fine, whatever, let’s talk inside first!” I snapped.

“Oh, Mukouda-san~ I knew you will come through! We are the bestest of friends after all~”

The tears had dried up in the beaming, sunny smile…

“Don’t misunderstand, I never say anything about letting you join my party.”

“It’s fine~ it’s fine~ I understand~~”

“What is it that you understand? It’s clear that you don’t understand anything!”

I swear, crazy, obsessive people are the worst.

“Oh my, the Ancient Dragon is not in the gardens… Ah, could it be that he’s too large for this tiny garden and is now outside the city?” Elland-san was twisting his head around, looking for Grandpa Gon.

I seriously don’t want to let them meet, but I don’t think he will ever give up unless I set up the meeting.

“Haahhh… the Ancient Dragon is here. It could shrink its size, so he’s inside the house.”

“Eeehh!!! Really?! Ancient Dragons have such an ability?!”

Ah, look at that obsessed face of someone learning something new about their simp.

“Hurry~ hurry~ I want to meet the Ancient Dragon~! The Ancient Dragon~!”

I was completely reluctant, but I have no choice.

Inside the living room, Grandpa Gon was relaxing on the plush rug with Fer. He looked like he was at peace and in balance with the universe.

Apologies in advance for ruining your peace.

“Mukouda-san~~ Thank you so very, very much~ I am so touched by your kind and generous gesture. To think, that I would live to see a real live Ancient Dragon with my own eyes… ughh…”

Tears started to fountain out again. I had to get away to avoid being splashed by the salty stream.

“”Geh!! What is that thing doing here?!””

As expected, Dora-chan was the first to react.

“Mu… it’s that Elf…”

“”Uncle Elf~!!””

Well, I guess these two didn’t react too badly since they were not the target of Elland-san’s obsession.

“Oh? A friend?” Grandpa Gon looked over at us curiously.

“Grandpa Gon. Please know that I am very sorry for doing this to you.”

“What? Why are you- erk.” [3]

“… …”

Elland-san had plastered himself to Grandpa Gon’s side and was pressing his lips repeatedly against the shiny scales. It was honestly disgusting. [3]

“Haahhh… haahh… I- I’m so happy! I’m touching an Ancient Dragon! The dragon of all dragons… Hahh… hahhh… I can die happily now…” [3] Elland-san was now rubbing his cheek against Grandpa Gon’s scales.

“… …”

“”Ugh, I feel sick just looking, urgh…”” Dora-chan flapped over to hide behind me.

“M-master… d-do something!!!”

“Ahem, Elland-san, could you please let go…”

“Ah, hahaha, apologies, looks like I lost myself for a bit there. Ahahaha!!”

Just a bit? I think you may have lost half your brain there.

“Oi, what is the Elf here for?” asked Fer from his position on the carpet. The legendary beast was lolling about on his back, four paws in the air.

“Ah, Fer-sama, I’m so glad to meet you again. I, Elland, have come to Carelina to join your party. Let’s go adventuring together!”

That refreshing smile…

Was somehow giving me a headache…

[Gumihou: Ahaha, so much nope]

[1] Added Details – Over explain the redundant question, because it’s funny. Lol. Yes, Gumi thinks she’s real funny, haha.

[1a] Added details on Elland-san’s strength, while allowing the comedic moment to shine through. It’s funny because it’s true.

[2] Add (and Delete) details on Elland’s reaction to make it more real and visually stimulating.

[3] Deleted repetitive stuff. So nostalgic, haha.