Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Uuuuu, more deletes…

“Ah, hold on. Think about it, don’t you think it’s faster for us to get to Doran than for Ugor-san to get here?”

Especially since we can travel via GG Airway.

Moreover, if I told Elland-san that he could hitch a ride on Grandpa Gon, I’m sure he would jump at the chance. I’ll just have to make sure not to tell him the destination.

Yes, that sounds like a plan.

Ah, but, Ugor-san is probably on the way here now. Hmm, surely it should still be fine? Fer, with his ability to sense different energies, should be able to locate Ugor-san’s location. Grandpa Gon just had to land a little ahead of Ugor-san’s way for our parties to meet.

Right, let’s do this.

My mind was busy planning out the logistics of transferring Elland-san away while a miserable Dora-chan floated next to me like a little cloud of gloom.

When I arrived at the house, I found Elland-san sitting in a corner of the living room, his eyes still almost flashing lights at Grandpa Gon who was… glaring at Elland-san angrily.

Fer was holding fort in the middle of the room, while Sui was… swaying from side to side in front of Elland-san.

Wait, what happened?

“Um, I’m home…”

“Oh, you’re finally back,”

Was it my imagination, or did Fer actually breathe a sigh of relief?

“Wh-what happened here?”

“Umu, a lot of things happened,” Fer growled in a low voice. “Well first…”

It turned out that, as expected, Elland-san had been bombarding Grandpa Gon with all kinds of questions, basically annoying the dragon with his ceaseless chatter.

Grandpa Gon had been mostly tolerating it until the Elf said something outrageous, “Heyy~~ so, Grandpa Gon-sama~~ if it’s alright with you, could I have just a teensy weensy bit of your blood? It’s for research!”

This, understandably, angered Grandpa Gon, “What nonsense!? Why should I give you my blood?!” [1]

Naturally, anyone with any kind of sense would have backpedalled and changed the subject, but…

“Sorry, sorry~ as expected, blood is no good~~ Ahaha, can’t get it without injuring your beautiful hide~ Then, what about a bit of saliva? Just a teensy bit is fine~”

That was when Grandpa Gon lost it.

Well, that’s to be expected. I would have also lost my temper at such a creepy request. [1a]

“Well, that was when I intervened,” said Fer with a grimace on his face. “I stepped on the Elf’s face-”

“What?!”

“Gently, of course, as you can see, he’s still in one piece.”

“Ah, right,”

“Anyway, I stepped on the creepy Elf and then made him stand in that corner away from Grandpa Gon,” Fer jerked his nose at the corner where Elland-san was still staring creepily at Grandpa Gon. [1b]

“And… Sui?”

“The stupid Elf kept trying to approach Grandpa Gon, so I sent Sui to watch him. Sui had instructions to shoot him with Acid Bullets if he dares to step out of his corner.”

“… …” well, Sui certainly looks like she’s taking her job seriously. [1b] [1a]

“”What a perv,”” Dora-chan muttered.

Indeed, I had to agree.

Then, in a great act of sympathetic solidarity, Dora-chan flew over to Grandpa Gon’s side to console him. I swear, Elland-san’s eyes actually glowed even brighter with two dragons within his sight.

I don’t get it.

I don’t want to get it either.

Also, there’s no need to look at ME with those eyes. It’s creepy to be looked at like that by a middle-aged male Elf, so please stop it.

Speaking of which, Elland-san’s face looked kind of scratched up, I guess that was due to Fer’s claws?

Good job, Fer.

Such a small injury would quickly be fixed with one of Sui’s special low-grade potions, but there’s no way I’m wasting one of those on a creep. [1]

No, the best thing to do is to get rid of Elland-san as soon as possible.

I sidled over to Grandpa Gon and told him about my plan to fly Elland-san quickly back to Carelina… [1]

“”What? I have to carry that creep on my back? No, absolutely not!”” [1]

“”Well… it’s not like I don’t understand your reluctance…””

“”I will not have that creature on my back, absolutely not!””

““If that’s the case, we’ll have to revert to the original plan of waiting for Ugor-san to arrive in two weeks’ time.”” [1]

“Gunununu…”

Ugor-san’s letter did ask me to make sure that Elland-san doesn’t go anywhere, but at this rate, I have a feeling that he would actually refuse to leave Grandpa Gon’s side.

Observe…

“Ahem, Elland-san, don’t you think it’s about time you leave?”

“Eh? EEeeeeehhh~~? Can’t I stay here~~”

“No, it’s impossible.”

Before I know it, Elland-san had thrown himself to the floor in the orz shape, otherwise known as the dogeza manner.

“Wh-where would I goo~~~?”

“Well, there are plenty of inns in Carelina…” I hinted.

“That~~”

I am seriously getting annoyed by all the wavy lines that follow your every speech.

“Please let me stay here~ please, please, please~~ I’m begging you~~”

Elland-san was crying now. However, I can’t let myself feel sorry for him. I have to consider Grandpa Gon and Dora-chan’s feelings too.

“No, it’s impossible to have you in the same house as my familiars. Elland-san, please reflect on your actions. Reflect on why asking for someone’s bodily secretions is rude.”

Elland-san looked away.

Oh? Can’t look me in the eye, you stupid Elf? [1b]

“W-well~ It’s just, it’s an Ancient Dragon! An Ancient Dragon, you know?! Ahh~~ I spent my whole life researching dragons, but rarely even see even a dead one in person. I thought, I thought Grandpa Gon and I had a really good atmosphere going and just went for it~~”

The Elf was looking at me with sparkling eyes.

No matter how beautiful the face, I still felt creeped out. There’s no way I’d be happy being stared at like this by a man, no matter how pretty the face.

[1a] “…anyway, as mentioned earlier, it’s time for you to leave-”

“Nooo!!! I dun wanna!!! I wanna be with Dora-chan and Granpa Gon~~~!!!!”

“… Celia,” [1b]

“Yes, Mukouda-san,” [1b] Tony’s daughter had been unobtrusively dusting something nearby. Her hardworking attitude is very commendable.

“Please call the guards over.”

“Right away, Mukouda-san.”

“… …”

“… …”

“Uwaahhhh, I dun wanna leave~~!!!!”

“Mukouda-san, this is…”

“Ah, Tabitha, you’re here. Well, this and that happened…”

….

…….

“Eww,”

“Yuck,”

“S-saliva?” [1a]

“Well, Elves had always been a little bit strange in their own ways,” Bartel said knowingly.

“… what would you like us to do, Mukouda-san?” asked Tabitha, going straight into the heart of the matter like the good leader she was.

“Well, could you please escort him outside the property? Maybe send him to an inn-”

“Uwaaahhh~~!!! I dun wanna leavee~~~!!!”

“That’s… It’s not my place to comment, but… that’s Doran’s Guild Master, right? He’s rumoured to be an S class…” said Tabitha slowly. “There are five of us, but I’m afraid we… might not be capable of convincing him…”

“Oh? Oh! Right, right, there’s that. Um, hey, Elland-san, if you make trouble for my guards, I’ll never let you see Dora-chan or Grandpa Gon ever again.”

“Uwaa- eh?”

“So, please allow them to escort you to an inn for the night. I shall see you tomorrow-”

“Waaahhhhh, I don’t like this~~ I don’t like this~~!!! I don’t want to go to an inn!! I don’t want to be far away from Grandpa Gon and Dora-chan~!!! Mukouda-sannnnn, pleaseeeee~~~”

[2]

Elland-san was running toward me with his tears and snot mingling and flying all over the place.

“Eww! No, stay away!! You guys, protect meee!!”

Bartel and Peter reacted a little too slowly for my taste as they rushed to block the enemy.

“You two, move!” Tabitha barked at the twins. The two knuckleheads made a face but moved forward to grab one Elf arm each.

I sighed.

“Tabitha, I’m sorry to impose on you, but could you-”

The twins booed, but Tabitha was perfectly professional, “Understood, we will keep him with us and set two guards on him at all times. We will not allow him to approach the main house”

“Thank you very much.”

With that, Elland-san was dragged, ah, escorted out of the immediate premises.

“Oi, is this really fine?” asked Fer, looking in the direction of where Elland-san had been dragged to.

“Who knows,” I sighed.

[Gumihou: This chapter has great potential for comedic scenes. There’s no need to overdo it. Also, Mukouda’s ‘anger’ is mostly at ‘annoyed’ and ‘very annoyed’ level]

[1] Deletes:

[1a] Author over-milked the ‘eeww saliva’ scenes. Reduced it by a LOT

[1b] Deleted excessive ‘Haahh, this stupid Elf’ scenes. Less is more.

[2] Redid the scene for comedic purposes