Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Ahem. Tis I, Demiurgos, the Creator of this world. I am also the highest-ranking God among all Gods of this world. Speaking of which, I have something I wish to know. Oi, the one who calls himself the pope, come out from that fancy church of yours.”

Demiurgos-sama’s voice echoed familiarly in my head. From the looks of the people around us… it looks like the believers of Rubanov heard his voice too. [1] When I last spoke with Demiurgos-sama, I requested his assistance. Having the actual Voice of God in your head would do a lot to convince religious people of his existence. I really don’t want to have to deal with a random fanatic running after my party, accusing me of being a liar and being killed by Fer or something.

[1] I proposed to have Demiurgos-sama speak to the people in the main Rubanov Church, I was even prepared to bribe him, but Demiurgos-sama actually said ‘I shall speak directly to false church as well as the main churches of the Four Goddesses and the Imperial Family of Rubanov’ at my request.

[1] “… …” I can only imagine the shock and excitement of the people hearing God speaking to them right now.

“Come out now!”

I, as well as the Knights, jumped.

Ah, I guessed the Pope was not moving as fast as Demiurgos-sama would like…

Suddenly, a bunch of people dressed in the typical Cult of Rubanov’s flashy outfit of too much gold and flashy sparkles over pure white cloth came rushing out.

The flashiest and gaudiest of them all, honestly there were even jewels sewn onto his robes, was at the front. He must be the Pope.

“So, you have finally decided to show yourself, eh? [2] Cult of Rubanov, tell me, just who is this Rubanov punk, haahhh?”

[3] “… …” that’s… Demiurgos-sama is kind of threatening them, right? Ah, but I can’t bring myself to be too sorry for these fellows.

Speaking of which, the flashy-looking priests have all gone pale.

Well, it’s not often that an actual God comes to confront you about the God of your religion. They must be worried.

“Well?”

“R-r-r-rubanov-sama is all-knowing and all-powerful. He is the absolute God of the Human Race.”

The Pope’s voice echoed faintly across the nearly silent grounds.

“Oho~ an all-knowing and all-powerful God of the Human Race, eh? Fumu, fumu, as mentioned earlier, I am the Creator God. The highest ranking God of this world. Naturally, as the Creator of this world, I know everything there is to know about it. On the ground as well as in the heavens above. I regret to inform you that this Rubanov fellow does not exist. Also, the Gods of this world do not differentiate our believers according to race.”

The people in the square erupted into an incoherent rage at this.

“P-preposterous!” howled the Pope.

Demiurgos-sama’s reply was firm, “The fact that the God of Rubanov does not exist should be known to those in the higher ranks. You must have learned of this when you took office as pope. I believe that Rubanov may have started as a cult to scam money off people before it grew to this size. In short, you are all thieves and conmen.”

The faces of the people dressed in gaudier outfits turned purple before going white.

“In fact, I am prepared to overlook this money scamming cult, after all, it is human nature to be greedy. However…”

Ah, is it me or has the atmosphere suddenly gone chillier? Demiurgos-sama? Hello?

“You have chosen to take it a step further. To make it a rule to discriminate against Beastmen, Elves and Dwarves, demeaning them as toys and pets. When you tire of them, you sold them off as slaves. Those of you in the ruling position are worse. You know that those slaves you sold to the Imperial Family are subjected to gruesome training, to fight and die as death soldiers. Know this, for those who participate in this heinous crime, a terrible fate awaits you after your death…”

Erm, that sounds… kind of ominous…?

“To the ruling family of Rubanov, heed my words. You do not see the people of your kingdom as people, you knowingly support the Cult of Rubanov as it suits your greed and appetite. Know that I, the Creator God Demiurgos, do not look kindly upon these heinous actions. In short, I am watching you.”

… I can almost see Demiurgos-sama doing that classic eye pointing ‘I’m Watching You’ thing to emphasise his remark.

I didn’t know that the royal family was conscripting non-humans as soldiers, but, considering the civil unrest that was happening just a forest over, it is not impossible to imagine that Rubanov must have had some hand in it.

Still, to be directly told that ‘God is Watching You~’ I wonder what the imperial family members are thinking now…

“To the Cult of Rubanov. Your evil deeds are as numerous as stars in the sky. You have committed the crime of spreading the word of a false god, blasphemy, discrimination, murder, deceiving the people-”

The list just went on and on…

“… for your crimes, receive your punishment. Ahem, Fenrir, Ancient Dragon, raze this blasphemous place to the ground. Fuoh, fuoh, I’ve always wanted to try saying this~~”

…Demiurgos-sama, I can hear you perfectly well…

Are you re-enacting some kind of army general or something?

“As you command!!” my two familiars howled as they stepped forward menacingly, practically twitching to act.

“Oi, if you don’t want to be destroyed along with your garish church, flee now,” came Demiurgos-sama’s lazy voice

“Humph, Demiurgos-sama is benevolent to the end,” growled Fer.

“Indeed, flee you shiny humans, or be razed along with your shiny building,” said Grandpa Gon.

A second later, the self-proclaimed Holy Knights of Rubanov and the Pope of Rubanov shrieked and fled.

That’s the most sensible thing to do, really.

Ah, it looks like everyone has the sense to run.

“Enough with your lies!!!! The Church of Rubanov is the Supreme Doctrine. I shall destroy these filthy monsters with my magic sword!!”

Well, almost all of them.

Wait, what did he just say?!!

“M-magic sword?!”

Indeed, the knight with the most gold decorations on his armour was now waving a sword at us. I think Elland-san once mentioned that Rubanov has a magic sword called the [4] Juwayuse? Juven-use?

[4] I remembered it because Elland-san would not stop talking about it and comparing it with the sword he had made with a dragon fang. However, the only thing that sticks out in my mind about this sword was that it was dangerous!

“Nooo!!!” My hand automatically reached into my [Item Box] withdrawing the magic sword I am most familiar with and-

“Hyaa!!!”

Clank!

Our swords crossed.

“Humph? Magic sword? That sword is as magical as side road rock,” came Fer’s derisive voice.

“It is still a good sword, to withstand Gram,” said Grandpa Gon politely.

“It is most unfortunate. The real magic sword had already been exchanged for gold about 200 years ago, or was it as recent as 100 years ago? Anyway, that one is just a clever fake,” came Demiurgos-sama’s voice.

“Eh? Eehhhhh?!!!” the knight’s scream echoed across the square as his ‘magic sword’ broke at the point where Gram had struck it.

The so-called paladin collapsed to the floor, staring at the broken-off blade.

I’m starting to feel sorry for this fellow. I looked at his knightly comrades, “Um, so, are you going to take your friend? They are really going to raze this place to the ground, you know?”

Fortunately, his comrades were still honourable enough to grab their leader and rush away from the square.

“How unexpectedly forward of my cowardly master,”

Fer, if you’re going to praise me. Please do it properly.

“Mm, most of the humans have left, shall we?” said Grandpa Gon.

“Umu,”

“”Ou!!””

“”Yay~!””

My familiars charged forward and-

Crackle— ZzzZZzzttt!!!

Dogon—! Dogooonn—!

Thump! Thump! Thump!

Pew! Pew! Pew!

The destruction started off with a flashy move from Fer, followed by signature moves from the others. Grandpa Gon was using Earth Magic and… wow, I didn’t realise that you can cause an entire building to collapse into dust like that…

Anyway, once the great destruction was over, all that was left of the once magnificent building was a bunch of grey rubble.

[Gumihou: Woah, they really destroyed it.]

[1] Edit the text so that it makes sense. Give a reason for how Mukouda knows (or at least has some idea) how far Demiurgos-sama’s voice travelled.

According to the text, it reached: the main churches of the Four Goddesses and the major Royal Families, but like… How you know? How you know?!!

[2] There was an attempt at a joke/sarcasm here, it sounded kind of lame? Changed it to mockery.

[3] Adjusted Mukouda’s reaction to ‘haahhh…’ instead of ‘pupupu’ which was kind of weird considering how he had nearly worried himself silly over the whole confrontation.

[4] Add details to build up suspense

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