Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Eguchi Ren: Sorry for being late. I forgot to update (sweats)

Gumihou: Oh my, I hope you are well, sir

After the door of the room designated to us by the Count closed behind us, I immediately dived into bed.

“Ahhhh~ I’m exhausted….”

““Aruji~~ okay~~?””

My dear Sui who had been pitching a ride on Fer’s head was now on my bed and patting my cheek with a nice cool tentacle.

“I’m fine, Sui,” I said as I hugged her to my chest. Aahhhh, being so near Sui is healing me slowly~~ “Let’s sleep like this tonight~~”

“”Okay~~””

“”Humph, I had been hoping to take a bath…”” Dora-chan muttered. [1] “”What a waste of a nice house.””

“Well, a bath is a super luxurious thing even among nobles,” I explained. [1] “Anyway, we can take a bath tomorrow once I rent a place for ourselves.”

“”Ou! It’s a promise!””

Rather than a bath, I’m hoping to enjoy some privacy away from these nobles. Ugh, meeting so many high-ranking people in one day is exhausting…

Moreover, Fer and Grandpa Gon kept blurting out all these unnecessary things at the most inopportune moment. In the end, who had to face the consequences? Me, that’s who!

“Oi, my futon.”

“Master, if you would be so kind as to set up mine as well.”

These two titans of power have absolutely no respect for a man suffering from a crisis. Instead of letting me decompress in peace, Fer and

Grandpa Gon were all ‘Oi, oi, futon, futon’ at me.

“Gahh! Fine!”

I rolled off the bed, grabbed their futon out of my [Item Box] and set up their beds. Since we do this almost every night, the action was almost automatic by now. Once the futons were set out, Fer and Grandpa Gon settled down gleefully on the soft cottony surface.

“I can no longer sleep without this,”

“Umu, it is very nice to have these laid out for us.”

Tch, what a pair of carefree monsters.

Once the two of them had blurted out the Leviathan thing, the after-meal relaxation turned into a game of interrogation for me. Since no one dared to grill the two titans of power, guess who became the target of all the politely worded, but very intense questions?

It was only after I had revealed everything, including our plans to look for someone to help us dismantle the Leviathan at the Royal Capital, did the Count finally let out a big sigh and allowed me to escape the dining hall into this guest room.

However, I suspect Fer and Grandpa Gon’s increasingly impatient glares may have played a large part in them letting me off. As we were leaving, I vaguely heard the Count mutter something about ‘letting the King know…’ but I was too mentally exhausted to do anything about it. Whatever, you do you, bro.

Also, since the Leviathan is so large, I could offer some of the valuable parts, and maybe even a bit of the meat for the Count and the King later.

For now, let’s sleep.

The Royal Capital Adventurer’s Guild.

Willem-san was in the middle of introducing five high-ranking people from this country’s guild to me.

For some reason, I get the feeling that they are being kind of judgemental about my party…

This is so uncomfortable.

For me anyway.

My familiars were as relaxed as ever. Sui and Dora-chan looked like they did not have a care in the world as they napped against Fer.

Aaahhh~~ I really shouldn’t have come to the Royal Capital…

This morning’s breakfast was also a little awkward. In fact, I was the only one from my party to partake in breakfast at the table with the Count and his family. Mostly because Fer, Sui, Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon wanted a hearty meaty breakfast (as usual), so I just gave them a pile of pre-made Cutlet (Katsu) Sandwiches (no cabbage).

For some reason, the Count arrived at the breakfast table with shadows under his eyes.

In contrast, Lady Oriane and Young Lady Celeste were practically radiant. They were in high spirits, and so was Bastion. The source of the ladies’ happiness could be seen in their faces, quite literally.

Lady Oriane, “My skin feels so firm and shiny, it’s like I’m a completely different person from yesterday!”

Young Lady Celeste, “Those awful pimples on my forehead disappeared overnight!”

The chatter at the table was mostly supplied by the ladies as they continuously praised the cream.

Then…

“Have you prepared any of this cream for Her Majesty the Queen?”

“Eh?”

“Hm?”

“Sh-should I…”

“Mukouda-san! You must! You absolutely must!!” Lady Oriane switched her intense gaze to the Count. “Dear! Don’t you agree?”

“Ahem, well, considering that we should visit the palace again… on the account of the Leviathan…”

“Excellent!”

“Ah, Count-sama, by ‘we’, do you mean…?”

“I shall be accompanying Mukouda, of course.”

“Oh, thank you very much.”

I was really worried about entering that place alone again. Maybe Fer and Grandpa Gon mentioning the Leviathan is not a bad thing since I now have Count Langridge volunteering to bring me there.

Lucky~

I thank the Lady for her advice by giving another pot of ‘All-in-1 Face Cream’ to her, and a second pot in exchange for the Count’s ‘labour’. The ladies, because young Celeste immediately claimed the second pot of cream for herself, thanked me with blazing eyes, declaring that I can always ‘count on our family for anything!’

Meanwhile, the Count smiled bitterly at the antics of his wife and daughter.

What was Young Master Bastion doing all this while, you asked? Well, he was watching Fer and the rest with great interest. To be precise, he was staring at their food. That is not to say that the food at the Count’s house was lacking in any way, but… white bread, salty vegetable soup and very lightly seasoned scrambled eggs may seem a little underwhelming in comparison, especially if this is what they regularly eat.

Well, I can take a hint.

“Would you like to try a Cutlet Sandwich?”

Without waiting for him to reply, I pulled out one plate of sandwiches and set it down on the table.

The child happily accepted the food and took a bite, “It’s delicious!” and proceeded to eat the whole thing.

Seeing this, the rest of the family also showed interest in trying the sandwiches, although none of them said anything outright to me. Still, it’s only polite to offer everyone a sandwich. In the end, everyone ignored their original breakfast to devour the Cutlet Sandwiches with great appetite. Though I must say it was interesting to see the ladies eat their sandwiches using knives and forks.

After the harmonious (?) breakfast, the Count’s family waved us off.

Well, I am now at the Adventurer’s Guild, being stared at by some very important-looking people. I missed being at Count Langridge’s place now.

Haah….

I wish they would say something instead of just staring at me like that.

“Hm, I heard that you’re summoned here through the Hero Summoning array. However, you don’t have enough strength to be considered a Hero.”

“Eh?”

“Umu, for a Hero, you’re certainly lacking. Not that you’re weak, but you’re too weak for a Hero.”

“Just how did you manage to command an Ancient Dragon and a Fenrir with your pitiful strength?”

“I wonder, are they even truly your familiars?”

“Not to mention, those other two familiars, the Pixie Dragon and Slime are strong as well.”

Well, should I be happy that these very important people are now saying whatever they want to in front of me?

Still, whatever they said just now was the truth, so I can’t feel too angry about it.

They also somehow found out that I was summoned here through the Hero Summoning Array, so I can’t underestimate them. The reason why I’m not as strong as a Hero was because I was not summoned as a Hero. I was just an innocent bystander caught up in the array.

As to why I have such powerful familiars, I’m afraid it’s all down to ‘food’. They all rushed to me and demanded I make them my familiars because of food! In short, they are nothing but gluttons!

Powerful gluttons, sure, but gluttons nevertheless!

I have a lot of things I’d like to say to these people, but I figured I’d just let them get it out of their system since they are all so sore about my ‘weak’ and ‘lacking’ self.

“… …” are they going to stop talking soon? I still have to get to the Merchant’s Guild and book a mansion or rent a room for the night-

“Oi, are you done talking!”

Ah, looks like Fer-sama is just as impatient as I was.

“Ah, ahem, apologies, Fenrir-sama. My name is Bram Ardelus, I am the Guild Master for the Royal Capital Adventurer’s Guild. Very pleased to meet you, with me are my closest aids… Cyril, Leocadio, Viviana and Noah. They are the Vice Guild Masters of the Royal Capital Adventurer’s Guild.”

I already heard about them, the four Vice Guild Masters and the Guild Master are the pinnacle of this country’s Adventurer’s Guild.

No lie.

I felt a little nervous to be in their presence.

“I understand from Willem that you have a request for us…”

“Umu, that is true,”

“Umumu, we caught a Leviathan in the dungeon. Dismantle it for us.”

“… Ancient Dragon-sama, if I heard you right… did you say… a Leviathan?”

“Indeed, it is unusual but there are times when monsters were not immediately reabsorbed by the dungeon. We managed to retrieve an intact Leviathan. However, our master says he cannot cook it until it has been properly dismantled.”

“Umu, it is unfortunate that that guy’s butcher could not do the job. We came here because we heard that this guild could take it apart.”

“Fer-sama, we mentioned that they could ‘probably’ take it apart…”

Ahaha, Willem-san was sweating on the side. Well, how do you like being the target of these outrageous claims? Not so fun, eh?

“It does not matter. What matters is… can you do it?”

“H-hey Fer, stop trying to intimidate them,” I said. “If you intimidate them into saying yes, but they do a bad job, what are you going to do?”

Fortunately, this was enough to get Fer to lay off the killing intent.

“Ah, this… it’s a little difficult to answer. Until we see the actual thing, we cannot promise anything,” Bram-san was smiling in that weird way that most customer service people do when they encounter a difficult customer.

“Good, take a look then.”

Fer jerked his head at me.

I glared back, “No way, the head alone will more than fill up this whole room.”

“That’s right, Fer. Don’t be unreasonable,” said Grandpa Gon. Personally, I think Grandpa Gon had been pretty unreasonable too…

“Oi, you there, take us to a bigger space.”

“… …” I rest my case.

“In that case, let us adjourn to the warehouse.”

I admire this Bram person for maintaining his poise even after being threatened by Fer and Grandpa Gon. Seriously, that takes guts.

[Gumihou: Oho, I wonder how they will react~~]

[1] Cultural crossovers. Dora-chan shouldn’t know that it is impolite for them to use the bathroom here. So, just let him make some general complaints instead.