Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Starting from this week, the updates will be slowed down to two chapters a week. Tuesday and Thursday updates. Because:

a) The chapters are getting longer. It used to average at 1150 – 1250 words at best, it now consistently goes over 1500 words per chapter. This means Gumi’s work also increased by 45% per week for Tondemo Skill…

b) Gumi has other deadlines to hit this month, sorry!!

Eguchi Ren: Thank you very much for your support!

Gumihou: Yes! Thank you for your support! Also, reduced the ‘kyaa!’ from Mukouda, replacing it with ‘this is my life now…’ kind of vibe

Only after lecturing at me to his heart’s content, Willem-san finally escorted me to Guild Master Bram as well as the four elders. Can’t forget those elders, although I can’t say I remember their names at all…

While I stood in place like a child caught doing bad things, Willem-san explained matters to these great people. [1] I could more or less tell which part of the story he was telling from their faces. Finally, we were given the order to march over to the largest warehouse where the dismantling of the Leviathan’s head was happening.

There, I found that the head had been pretty much taken apart, [2] with stacks of bottles, large vats lining one side of the wall, sets of teeth and fangs as well as bones stacked neatly on shelves. It looked like everything went smoothly, aside from the most troublesome person in the room.

The moment we stepped through the door, the elders’ faces changed. Elland-san, who had been busy sparkling at one of the vats suddenly looked up, as though sensing something in the air. Then, he turned around with an excited look on his face.

He clearly did not understand just how much we did not want to see him as he suddenly leapt forward, only to be dragged back by Moira-sama. When he continued to struggle, Moira-sama unceremoniously punched him in the face.

Ah, well, too bad for him.

As for myself, I am busily trying not to catch the attention of the scary-looking elders and guild masters…

“Oi, take them out,” said Guild Master Willem-san with a frightening look on his face.

“Um, do- you need me to take everything out?”

“Everything.”

“I, ah, don’t think it would fit this room…”

“It’s fine, just take as many as you can.”

His already tough-looking face looked positively demonic when annoyed, so I quickly complied.

“Um, is it alright if I just take out one specimen per specie…”

“Just get on with it.”

“Okay…”

So, I walked to the end of the room and started taking out dinosaurs from my [Item Box], starting with the smallest ones first.

“… …”

The silence was deafening as the elders stared at the lineup of dinosaurs.

In fact, the silence was so loud that it nearly drowned out the ‘Nooooo!!!’ from the other end of the warehouse. Finally, after a long, anxious silence, I heard sighs followed by:

“So, this is what comes after the Leviathan…”

“It’s just one thing after another…”

“Haha, that’s right…”

“I have… nothing to say…”

“To be honest, I regretted seeing it…”

The five important people all hung their heads, muttering among themselves even as Willem-san kneaded his forehead. “You… just handle it yourself…”

Still, despite all the doom and gloom, there was still one incredibly high-spirited person in the room.

“I-is this a new species of Dragon?! Is it?!”

Spurred by his love and obsession with all things dragon, Elland-san managed to break through Moira-sama’s efforts to stop him and rushed towards the lineup of dinosaurs on the floor. He was patting and stroking them with shining eyes.

Goodness, he’s still as carefree as ever.

“No, this thing is called a dinosaur. It’s different from a dragon, although… I’m not sure exactly how it is different, so I guess it’s not completely different?”

“Ohoo~~! I see, I see~!!”

I’m glad you saw something, because I have no idea what you’re seeing.

Elland-san was practically dancing around the dinosaur corpses in a frenzy like the obsessed pervert that he was. “They come in many shapes and sizes, but this one! This one looks quite similar to the Earth Dragon!”

Elland-san’s nose was practically touching the T-Rex he was observing, his hands already groping and wandering here and there. “However, the skin feels different from that of the Earth Dragon, the arrangement of teeth is different too!”

That’s because it’s a creature from Earth- ah…

“That’s enough!”

Slap! Slap!

The great Moira-sama slapped Elland-san on the head before dragging him away.

The Elders and Guild Master Bram let out a collective sigh.

“I wish I could send this idiot away as soon as possible, however, it looks like this is no longer possible.”

O-oi, hold on. Surely calling that fellow an ‘idiot’ is a bit much? He’s obviously obsessive and insane, but an idiot?

“Hey, Mukouda, we’ll buy these.”

“It’s not like we could let this opportunity go…”

“They are proof that that fairytale-like place mentioned <<Hayden’s Adventures>> actually exists…”

“Uh, if it’s for research, I don’t mind donating…” I said hesitantly.

“It’s fine. This concerns the pride of the Adventurer’s Guild. Since it is a monster that has never been seen before, the price may be less than what it ought to be, but we will buy them regardless.”

“Hah?”

I don’t know why they would still want to pay when I said I’d donate, but sure, whatever you like.

“It will take us some time to Appraise these monsters, it may take weeks or even up to a month. The money will be sent to Carelina’s guild. Please collect your payment there.”

I nodded. I don’t mind receiving the money a little later. No problem at all.

Bram-san visibly braced himself before marching over to where Moira-sama was holding Elland-san down.

“Oi, Elland,” said Bram-san. “Listen here, you’re in charge of dismantling these…”

“Really! For real!!??” [2] he was being stepped on by Moira-sama and had been breathing heavily from the effort of trying to escape. However, after hearing this, his breathing became even heavier and I felt somehow dirty hearing it…

Even though this was the only person I would trust to dismantle these monsters, I…

“Ooohh~~ as expected of Mukouda-san! You’re the best! My good friend! My absolutely bestest and most wonderful friend~~!!”

No, I refuse to acknowledge this friendship.

Ignoring the excited Elf on the floor, I said to Moira-sama, “Apologies for giving you such a hard time…”

“No, no, I feel ashamed to call myself an Elf because of this guy…”

“It’s fine, everyone knows that different Elves have different unique dispositions… speaking of which, I should say this first. Um, the biggest one… ahem…”

“Wh-what about the biggest one?” Oni-face Willem-san suddenly rushed forward, as if daring me to say something troublesome. Sorry, Willem-san, but it had to be said. You’ll find out about it sooner or later.

“The biggest one… I think, even an adamantite knife probably won’t penetrate its skin…”

All eyes turned towards me: some in disbelief, others in unbridled excitement and yet more that were just resigned and tired…

“Um, most of these monsters could ‘chew through adamantite’ so…”

“How do you even— never mind, I don’t want to know!”

“A magic sword should do it,” said Grandpa Gon.

“Umu, especially a magic adamantite sword,” chimed in Fer.

I maintained a pained silence as the faces of the people in front of me changed a few times. Finally, Bram-san ventured a tired ‘I see’.

Well, the end result of that little interlude was me agreeing to sign a contract with the Guild for the rental of one magic sword Caladbolg, Elland-san’s favourite among all the other magic swords in my possession.

Magic Sword Caladbolg would be rented to the Adventurer’s Guild for 800 gold for one month.

Personally, I don’t mind getting these kinds of passive income.

Passive incomes are the best!

“It’s been hard on you, Willem,” Bram-san said as he patted Willem-san on the back.

Tears were running down Willem-san’s scrunched-up face. I wanted to go and comfort him too, but I had a feeling that I would only make him feel worse, so I refrained. On the other hand…

“Woah~~!! Ooohh~!! Th-th-this is~~!!”

…there was someone with absolutely no sense of social decency was running around the dinosaurs making all sorts of strange noises.

“Oi! What about the meat?”

“Is Master really going to sell everything including the meat?”

“”What? Seriously?! No way!!””

“”Sui wants to try big, big lizard meat~~””

I expect my face to look like the Elders’ now. However, I would never hear the end of it if I ignored them.

“Um, so, if you don’t mind, please take another of the largest ones apart as well?”

“Another-! Haahh… what do I expect? Fine, well take it apart for you, but you must take all the parts, including the bones and eyeballs, whatever, back. We don’t have the money to buy them.”

I nodded quickly.

“Oi, what are you waiting for? Do it now!”

“I-if you don’t mind, could you please maybe take this one apart first? Think of it as a practice run? Hahaha…”

“I shall spend all night dismantling it!!”

“Ah, good to hear.”

If anything, Elland-san became even more excited by the sight of the second Supersaurus. Meanwhile, tears were falling down the faces of the Guild Masters. Moira-sama just looked tired…

Anyway, since my familiars refused to leave, we found a corner to settle down to stare while Elland-san got to work. I guess, I should at least thank him for doing such a thorough job of it.

[Gumihou: Woah, this Elland sure is hardcore.]

[1] Less ‘kyaa!’ and more ‘sigh…’

[2] Add detail – this includes the detail where a certain someone is being stepped on…