Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Haaahh… I’m finally back…”

From the moment we left the house… no, even before that, it had all been chaos.

First, I was taken to a strange hunting ground filled with carnivorous, fire-breathing dinosaurs; after coming back from that, I was lectured by an oni-faced Willem-san and then, was whisked away to the Adventurer’s Guild only to be stared by the judgy faces of the elders.

It was an incredibly outrageous day.

Not to mention, my familiars did so well at the hunt that they wiped out an entire species off this planet, world, planet? Anyway, the rare and endangered Supersaurus was now the extinct Supersaurus.

As for the root of all evil…

“Oi, I’m hungry.”

“Umu, we were so busy hunting today that we did not even have lunch. I am famished.”

“”Right~? Right~? Let’s have some grub now!””

By ‘grub’, I’m guessing Dora-chan meant food, right? Just where is he picking up all these weird slang words from?

“”Sui is hungry too~~””

Ahh, my Sui-tan…

Too bad everyone seemed to have forgotten what I said before.

Well, that’s fine. I can just remind them.

“So, you are all hungry?”

“Umu, today’s hunting was one of the best exercises I’d ever had in a while.”

“I agree, it was quite good.”

“”Yeah! I get to use up loads of magic!””

“”Sui pew pew pew pew a lot~””

“Is that so? Well, go wait in the living room while I prepare your dinner.”

Without waiting to hear an answer, I headed for the kitchen.

[1] Once there, I stared at the shiny countertops and stoves for a while, lost in thought.

“… I did say that everyone will be receiving their proper punishment for what they did to the Supersaurus, yes?”

That’s enough contemplation. I called up [Net Super] and put in a large order of a certain something. Something that would be even more effective than vegetables. I really shouldn’t waste Alban’s precious vegetables on something that was meant to be punishment

Once the cardboard boxes arrived, I opened them up and took out a bag of ‘five-slice loaf’. Bread is one of the few things from [Net Super] that would not raise the status of those who consume it. I will never make the same mistake of feeding any of my familiars A5 Wagyu ever again.

Anyway, the boxes contained nothing but sliced bread. Lots and lots of sliced bread. To be fair, these sliced breads could be really nice, once in a while, when toasted or made into sandwiches. It could even be eaten on its own in a pinch but…

I stared at the mountains of plain sliced bread in front of me.

“Good.”

I’m having bread too, of course. I’m not cruel enough to eat meat in front of them.

However, I will be having Teresa’s special country-style bread along with a bowl of vegetable soup made with Alban’s vegetables.

In fact, let’s go all out and make some Soybean Stewed with Tomatoes [2] as a spread for the bread.

I know this dish sounds weird, but it’s really delicious and easy to make.

First, fry some minced garlic in olive oil, add in the chopped onion and stir-fry until fragrant. Next, drop in the bacon and drained canned soybeans, once the bacon is fragrant, add a can of whole tomatoes and a couple of roughly chopped fresh tomatoes. Season with salt and pepper.

After that, all I had to do was let it simmer down while I roughly squashed down the whole tomatoes. This nutritious dish packed full of soybean goodness is done once the liquid has been reduced to less than half and can now be eaten on bread,

Super healthy!

Lots of veggies!

“Now that I’ve prepared my portion, it’s time to feed my familiars.”

“Hmm? Why aren’t you all eating?”

I said after taking another bite of my open-face sandwich made with Teresa’s country-style bread and Soybean Stewed with Tomatoes.

“Why aren’t we all eating, he says…”

“No, that is… Master…”

“”No, no, no, this is just…””

“”Aruji~~?””

The Gluttonous Quartet stared at the piles of bread on their plates in confusion.

“What are you talking about? That’s your dinner,” I said, taking another large bite of my bread.

“Wha-”

“This-”

“”Hey-“”

“”No~~””

“I already told you, didn’t I? That you will be properly punished? You seemed to have forgotten it. That’s fine, you have plenty of time to reflect on your mistakes.”

The mistake of wiping out an entire species. Who cares if they were monstrous, carnivorous dinosaurs? It’s wrong to cause extinction, that’s why.

“You were… serious?”

“Ku… I thought Master was just saying it…”

“”Don’t you usually just scold us a bit before giving us delicious food?!””

“”Sad…””

Fufun~ looks like I had been too lenient with you guys, none of you ever had a scrap of respect for me.

“Just be grateful that I’m not making you guys skip meals. Well, you don’t have to eat these bread if you don’t want to. However, take a guess on what you’ll be having next.”

Especially since you didn’t even have lunch today because of all the fun you had. Fer, Grandpa Gon, and Dora-chan all groaned collectively at my words. If this was a manga, all sorts of onomatopoeic sound characters would have filled the background.

Sui had frozen up with shock, but I have to harden my heart against her. Sorry Sui, but you’re also part of the problem. Children need a firm hand, an indulgent parent raises a delinquent child.

This hurts me more than it hurts you, Sui-tan.

“H-hey, just give me whatever you’re eating, can’t you just do that?”

Fer was staring at my Soybean Stewed with Tomatoes with slightly bloodshot eyes.

“You want this? It’s beans stewed in vegetables, well, some would say that the tomato is a fruit, but it’s all plant-based. Do you really want it?”

“Kuhh…” Fer’s eyes seemed to bulge out a little at that. He hated vegetables but obviously loved my cooking. I could see the dilemma in his eyes…

Kukuku.

“Also, I only made a small amount since I know most of you probably won’t like it. I only have enough to serve about this much with no seconds.”

This made the ones who do not hate vegetables look even more conflicted. It was torturous enough to not have meat, but to not have enough vegetables to eat? That kind of cruelty reached new heights…

By the time I was done with my dinner, the Gluttonous Quartet had finally started munching through their new Bread Diet.

They were probably having a hard time eating those. Sliced bread could be delicious when toasted, spread with butter and jam or made into French Toast, but on its own? Heh.

Everyone was eating their food expressionlessly, there was not a single ‘delicious!’ in the air.

“Hey, can we get a drink?”

“Yeah, yeah!”

“Sure,” I said with a smile and served them large bowls of H2O. These poor things’ mouths must be so dry from eating dry boring bread. So sad.

Everyone stared at the bowls of water with expressions that were close to despair. Were they expecting me to serve them sweet fizzy drinks like cola or cider?

Hah!

This is a punishment, so why would I give you something nice?

Sui’s tearful ‘Aruji~~’ was devastating, but I managed to endure it.

A parent has to be strong and stay stern when necessary!

Fuhahahahahaha~~!! Do you understand what suffering is now?!

Huh?!

Gumihou: I think Mukouda went a little nuts here.

Eguchi Ren: It’s a bit short, but the author is satisfied to write the scene he wanted

[1] Create a bit of atmosphere first

[2] It actually looks delicious

https://www.sbfoods.co.jp/recipe/detail/03428.html