Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Eguchi: Happy New Year Everyone! This chapter is later due to some additional stuff (sweats)

I’ll try not to be late next time. Maybe.

Anyway, thank you for your continued support for this year as well!

Gumihou: We will definitely support you, Eguchi-san~!

“Um, so, I’d like to congratulate all of you, the [Iron Will] party, on your promotion to B Rank. Cheers~!”

“CHEERS!!”

Gulp!

[1] The wooden mugs were a little too heavy for me and I ended up spilling some on the table, but no one seemed to care as they lifted their individual mugs and gulped down the contents. Even the elegant-looking Franca-san.

Well, I guess that’s Adventurers for you. They don’t sweat the small stuff. Instead, everyone was really excited for tonight’s celebration.

The day started out in the corner of the garden of our rented mansion under a clear blue sky. Naturally, when it comes to a proper party involving eating, drinking and having fun, a barbecue is the best.

Hence, the appearance of my Dwarf-made BBQ stove.

That’s not all.

The wooden mugs used for today’s celebration were something I bought on a whim in this world. I really can’t see rough and ready Adventurers being comfortable with ceramic drinking vessels. Also, I would be heartbroken if they accidentally crack my crockery. It was the correct option in this case.

“Kaaahh–! That was awesome! Mukouda-san’s beers are the best! Nothing beats this!” said Vincent with a huge grin on his face.

“I don’t really like ale, but this cold ale is delicious,” said Rita as she took another gulp of the beer.

Well, technically those are not ale but lager beer.

“Vincent, Rita, I know you have been looking forward to this day, but don’t be too excited and trouble Mukouda-san.”

“Yes, Leader!”

“No trouble, Leader!”

The two of them grinned at Werner-san who smiled bitterly at me and said, “Thank you very much for having us here today, Mukouda-san.”

“No, no, I’m happy to see everyone too. Oh, here, let me pour you another drink,” I said as I poured more beer into Werner-san’s empty mug.

“Oh, thank you. I must say, this cold ale is really good~”

“Hmm, this drink is nothing like any ale I ever had,” said Ramon-san contemplatively.

“Indeed, aside from it being lovely and cold, it has a cleaner taste than ale. Yes, I like this one better,” said Franca-san.

Oh? It looks like these two are quite the gourmet.

“There are plenty here, so drink up everyone! I also have fruit wine too~” I said, gesturing towards the table I had made with Earth Magic. It was covered with wooden mugs containing beer and reasonably priced wine purchased from [Net Super].

“I graciously thank you if you could give me another one,”

“Me too!”

“Ah, same here!”

“Here too!”

The [Iron Will] crowded around the table for their drinks. Seeing everyone rushing over to the table, Werner-san said with a wry smile, “I thank you as well, we all like to drink, but Ramon and Franca are the strongest drinkers among us.”

Well, I guess a lot of Adventurers are strong drinkers too?

“Well, I’ve prepared these for everyone, so please enjoy it as much as possible!”

“Thank you! I shall enjoy it to the fullest!” exclaimed Werner-san before elbowing his way to the drinks table with the rest of his party.

“Oi, is the meat done yet?”

“Master, I cannot live on the smell alone…”

“”That’s right! Even though the smell is so thick that I could almost taste it… Almost doesn’t cut it!!””

“”Meat~~ meat~~ meat~~””

“Yes, yes, hold on a minute. Hmm, I guess these should be alright now.”

Grilling on the barbecue was dungeon beef and Gigantic Minotaur meat marinated in commercially available sauce.

I don’t have time to make the sauce from scratch, but this commercially available sauce is good enough that no one would say anything. I’m sure.

“Ah, the onions and eggplants are done too,” I said as I moved the vegetables next to the meat. The only thing I did with the onions and eggplants was cover them with a drizzle of olive oil and a dusting of salt.

“No vegetable.”

Ignoring Fer, I divided up the meat and vegetables evenly between all four plates.

“Oi-”

Fer started, but an elbow jab from Grandpa Gon cut him off. “Just keep quiet and eat, you idiot,” he hissed.

Sui and Dora-chan were too busy eating to comment. Still, I’m grateful to Grandpa Gon for shutting up that noisy furball.

After adding more meat and vegetables onto the barbecue grill, I noticed that the meat on the other side of the grill was almost done.

“Hey, everyone. I know that the alcohol is great, but come get your barbecued meat too~!”

Almost immediately, members of the [Iron Will] party came crowding around me. I handed everyone a small tasting plate of both types of meat as well as some onions and eggplant.

“Woah!”

“Delish!”

“Yummy~!”

“Goodness, this makes me crave alcohol.”

“Ou! Let’s go get some!”

Indeed, nothing beats cold beer with barbecue.

I, too, kept myself cool with cold beer while flipping the meats and occasionally sneaking a bite or two whenever I could.

“Mukouda-san, what kind of meat is this?” Vincent-san asked around his mouthful of meat.

“It’s Dungeon Cow and Gigantic Minotaur,” I said casually.

“Woah, this is my first time tasting Gigantic Minotaur!” cried Rita-san.

“As expected of Mukouda-san, you always use good quality meat,” said Ramon-san.

“Yes, as expected,” said Franca-san.

Oh? Their reactions were unexpectedly chill? How refreshing.

Werner-san sighed, “Haha, as expected of you, eh…” he had a faraway look on his face.

Well, the ones who hunted these meats aren’t me. Fer and the rest were the ones who made sure my stock of meat never ran out.

“Hey, I know that Gigantic Minotaur meat is pretty high quality, but is Dungeon Beef always this delicious? We should go there next!”

“Oh? You haven’t been before? I guess it’s considered an easy dungeon… but this dungeon beef is from higher-class Dungeon Cows,” I said.

“Umu, I like that meat dungeon. Let’s go again.”

“A dungeon where you only get meat Drops? I wish to visit it too.”

“”It’s great there! The food stalls are incredible too!””

“”Lots of yummy meat~~””

Ah, Fer and the rest were all reminiscing over their trip to Rosendal while Grandpa Gon looked a little envious.

“Meat dungeon, eh? Maybe we should try it once,” mused Werner-san.

The rest immediately agreed.

“Well, since it’s a relatively low-level dungeon, Adventurers with families like to settle around there since they can hunt good quality meat and sell them for money with little risk,” I said, proud to be able to provide this bit of trivia.

While we were chatting, the meat I had been waiting for most was finally done.

“Everyone~ this meat is also a dungeon Drop from the Meat Dungeon. I want everyone to try this.”

“Hey, Mukouda-san, you’ve been rolling that meat around on the grill for a while now… but, is it really edible?”

“What is it?”

The [Iron Will] people were both curious and apprehensive.

Oho.

Are you scared?

Smirking a little, I said, “It’s offal meat from a Dungeon Cow.”

Franca-san immediately turned pale.

“Oi, serve it now!”

“Master, me too! And some alcohol too, if you don’t mind.”

“”Me! Me! Me!”” Dora-chan was already zipping overhead excitedly.

“”Meat~! Meat~!”” Sui bounced about so quickly that it looked like she was vibrating.

“Yes, yes, in a moment,” I said indulgently.

The innards [1], or in this case, the pieces of large intestines marinated in miso, saké, mirin, gochujang, grated garlic, grated ginger and sesame oil looked deliciously browned. I quickly portioned them out onto four plates, along with a bowl of beer for Grandpa Gon.

To get the full appreciation of grilled intestines, one should eat it with beer.

“Hey, if Fer-sama is eating it, does that mean it’s really delicious?” Rita-san murmured.

“Well, I guess there’s no harm in trying a little,” said Vincent-san.

Together, they circled around the single plate I had managed to scrounge off the barbecue for them. After a bit of ‘I dare you, you dare me’ kind of challenge, both snatched up a piece of the grilled intestine and popped it into their mouths.

Chew, chew, chew…

“How is it?” asked Werner-san a little worriedly.

“Super!” cried Rita-san with a thumbs up.

“Delish!” cried Vincent-san with two thumbs up.

Seeing this, Werner-san, Ramon-san and Franca-san also picked up a piece of the offal, I noticed that Franca-san picked up the smallest piece from the plate, and quickly popped the meat into their mouths.

All three chewed quickly with their eyes closed.

“Hm!”

Three pairs of eyes popped open.

“Delish!”

“It’s… good!”

“How is it… good?”

I nodded to myself, satisfied by their reaction.

“It goes really well with beer, you know?” I said as I popped a grilled offal into my mouth before taking a swig of beer.

The next thing I knew, people were crowding around the plate of offal with a beer in hand, chewing and gulping happily with big smiles on their faces.

[2]

Thanks to the delicious food and drinks, the chatter became really lively and eventually, perhaps emboldened by wine, Vincent approached Fer and said, “Hey, um, Fer-sama~ you mentioned that you fought with an Ancient Dragon before, right?”

“Umu, indeed I have,”

“So, uh, could it be…” he turned large shiny eyes at Grandpa Gon.

“That’s right, it is that fellow,”

“I knew it! That’s so amazing!”

“Me next! Me next!” Rita-san yelled. “Fer-sama, you said that you ‘won’t lose next time’, so does that mean you won this time? Is that why the Ancient Dragon is travelling with Mukouda-san?”

[2]

“Well, that’s…”

“Hoho, are you saying that you can defeat me? Hm?” Grandpa Gon suddenly narrowed his eyes at Fer.

“Nanu?” Fer snarled, baring his fangs at Grandpa Gon.

“Are you afraid of the truth?”

“What truth? You think you’re stronger than me? Hah???”

“Hoh, so you want to throw down here?”

“Let’s do it, I never back down from a challenge.”

The atmosphere, which had been lively and cheerful earlier, was now completely tense. Everyone from the [Iron Will] party turned pale.

“Heyy!! Stop it! Are you planning to smash Royal Capital to bits?!! Have you forgotten that I’m responsible for your actions?!” I shouted smacking their stubborn heads with my [3] grilling spatula.

“O-oi, what did you-”

“M-master?”

“Shut it!!” I screamed, waving the spatula around like a weapon. “You know what happens when you two fight, right? Or are you actually stupid?!”

“W-who are you calling stupid?!”

“Master, surely this is too much?”

“Insubordination!” I shrieked. “One day of bread!”

“W-what?!”

“Wh-why?”

“One more day of bread for more insubordination!”

“Gunuu…”

“Gununu,”

“”Hey, so, uh, you guys might want to shut up, you know?”” said Dora-chan.

“M-mukouda-san, y-you’re so amazing!!” [Iron Will] party cried.

However, I hardly heard them because I was busy thinking: Wow, the power of bread is incredible.

[Gumihou: The deleted ending was Dora-chan advising Sui not to be a ‘useless adult’ while looking at Fer and Grandpa Gon which… seems kinda out of place?]

[1] ホルモン is actually ‘entrail’ or ‘offal’ in general, but in this case let’s just assume that Mukouda is just grilling ‘large intestines’ and not liver, stomach, lungs or other parts due to the ‘goro’ or ‘rolling’ remark made by one of the [Iron Will] members

[2] Make the Vincent and Fer conversation more realistic

[3] Gumi provided the spatula