Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi-Novel

Chapter 150 -- Offerings, Delayed

Right then, now we had returned from the dungeon it was time for me to make offerings to the Gods and Goddesses. "Ehhh, can you hear me?" When I called out I received an immediate reply, or rather several overlapping complaints and demands which amounted to the same thing.

"Oh oh oh, I’ve been waiting ever so long you know."

"You’ve finally returned, have you?"

"C’mon, I’m dying of thirst here."

"...food, quick"

"Ooooh, I’m tired of waiting."

"Where were you? Booze, booze, hurry hurry."

......Well, it looks like they were all eagerly waiting for me to return safely. Nice to be wanted, I suppose.

"You should hurry up and give me what I want, you know!" Ah, Deplorable Goddess-sama, how wonderful it is to hear your screeching voice once again. How I’ve missed it ringing in my ears these past ten days... "You, I saw you eating that ’Ice Cream’ food in the dungeon! What is it?! Why did you hide such delicious sweetness from me! I want to eat it too you know!!" So Ninril-sama had been keeping a close eye on me, it seemed. Little Miss Nosey-Parker-sama can’t resist snooping on me, can she?

"Yes yes, I understand." I agreed. The sooner I placated her and got her offering sorted the better. "Since Ninril-sama will want sweets as usual I’ll add some ice cream to the offerings."

"That’s right, you know." Ninril-sama agreed smugly. "Sweets as usual and don’t forget the dorayaki, of course."

Yeah yeah, I got you. I opened Net Super and picked out some ice cream first. This one aaaaand... this one? A six-cup family pack with three different flavours of soft-serve ice cream and another family pack of six chocolate-coated ice cream bars. I bought dorayaki and other cakes and confectionery up to the limit of three silver coins and put them in the cart.

"Next please." I announced, thinking if I ever returned to my own world and needed to find a part-time job then I’d be a shoo-in for a konbini sales clerk position...

"That will be me." says Kishar-sama. "That expensive cream you offered last time was soooo good! Just as you said it had a rich variety of ingredients. Can you send me an expensive lotion just like it, please?"

Fuhaha, she was acting just like my elder sister, becoming addicted to more and more expensive cosmetics and on top of that I’m supposed to make recommendations about something I have no real information about? How would I really know how well these creams and lotions work, after all... Well, if it’s got a big price tag then I suppose it’s going to be better quality, like wagyu domestic beef costs more than discount meat in the supermarket chiller.

Lessee, I searched Net Super, looking up my purchase history to find the name of the beauty cream I had bought for Kishar-sama last time. Sure enough there was a matching lotion, three silver coins for a single small tube which I put in my shopping cart for her. I wondered if my sister would have settled for something that cost that little, I could see other items on the Net Super’s "recommended" pages priced a lot higher. It would probably not be a good idea to let Kishar-sama know I was comparing her spending habits to my sister’s, I decided. The Net Super’s range of beauty products seemed to be a bit limited though compared to the range of items I had seen my sister purchase. A real cosmetics store would carry a wider range of more expensive items, I supposed but in this world I only had access to what the Net Super had on offer, of course.

"Next is...?"

"It’s me." said Agni-sama, taking her usual place in the queue. "I want booze of course, different types like the last time. Whatever you choose is okay by me." Booze, of course. This time I chose a lot of foreign alcohol for her, beers as well as wine and a bottle of American whiskey to make it up to 3 silver coins worth.

"Next..." That would be Ruka-sama, of course.

"Food and sweets." came her oddly child-like voice. "Oh, and I want to eat ice cream too."

Ah Ruka-sama, I’m totally out of pre-cooked food so I’ll have to get everything from the Net Super this time. I ordered up the same ice-cream selection as I had chosen for Deplorable-sama earlier then added beef croquettes and ham cutlet, fried chicken, stir-fried shrimp in chili sauce, macaroni au graitin and completed her offering with the usual bread and confectionery to make it up to three silver coins. Done. Next up would be the boozehound double-act...

"Hephaestus-sama and Vulcan-sama, you’re next." I said somewhat brusquely, eyeing the soft futon on the bed where Sui-chan was fast asleep. Soon, soon...

"Yep, it’s our turn." Hephaestus-sama said. The two Gods co-operated to get what they wanted from my offerings and shared their spoils amicably, unlike the four bickering Goddesses. "I want something like last time, other world guy. Whisky for my share. War God here says he wants vodka."

"Oh, that vodka booze is really good to drink." Vulcan-sama chimed in. "Really hits the spot, it does."

Oh, these two guy-samas really like to drink, they pour it down their throats like I would drink a cup of tea. I mostly drink beer myself but I sometimes have stronger drinks, vodka mixers usually. Drinking the stuff straight like these two did wasn’t to my taste but we’re all different, I supposed. I searched the Net Super’s listings and found three reasonably-priced bottles of whisky from different places around the world and added them to the cart before looking through the vodkas on offer. There weren’t that many though but I found two bottles of vodka, one from Russia and one from Sweden that fit the price limit and added them to the cart. Done. I pushed coins into the Net Super’s interface until the bill was paid and a large clinking cardboard box materialised in front of me.

I arranged my usual set of cardboard altars (I had scribbled the name of a God or Goddess on the front of each altar using a marker, just in case using the wrong altars might annoy the Deplora- uh, deities in question) before sorting out the delivery and piling each set of offerings on the correct altar. "Oh yeah Ninril-sama and Ruka-sama, ice cream is like ice and will melt if it isn’t kept cold." I added.

"I understand, you know."

"... (nodding vigorously)"

"That’s okay then, Gods and Goddesses, please receive my offerings." I said tiredly, watching the items on the cardboard altars disappear to an accompaniment of loud cheers and girlish squeals (ah, Kishar-sama...?) The loudest voice was clearly Hephaestus-sama’s.

"Yahoo! Booze, booze, booze at last! Been a long time since we got any, hey War God?"

"You said it, Heffy. Today’s the day we drink plenty, you betcha." his companion replied.

You’re going to party as soon as you get alcohol? That’s... I shrugged as the voices died away. It would be better for them to take their time and not drink it all immediately but I didn’t care, it was out of my hands and I doubted any of them would take my advice anyway. I yawned and stretched before putting the altars away in my Item Box for the next time I made offerings. I was worn-out and decided to just go to bed and leave everything else for tomorrow. The dungeon drops needed counting and listing for sale and that was going to be a pain, especially that sword... Bed, bed, bed. I moved Sui-chan over and I was asleep ten seconds after I lay down on the futon.