Tyranny Of Steel-Novel

Chapter 534 - A Crisis of Faith

Adela kneeled within the pews of the Grand Cathedral of Kufstein. Though the Church was empty at the moment beside the High Queen herself, the girl did not mind. Currently, the devout young woman was having a severe spiritual crisis, and only meditation in the Cathedral granted her some peace of mind.

Her husband, while the public face of the German Reformation, was in fact an amoral atheist, and she had known this for quite some time. Despite her attempts to save his soul, he seemed to drift further away from God with each passing day.

If it wasn't the copious amounts of alcohol and cannabis, then it was the debauchery that came with polygamy. Worst yet, Berengar had taken up a Muslim wife, not only did he tolerate her religious beliefs, but lately he seemed to spend an unfair degree of time alone with the woman.

Despite Adela's incessant preaching, Berengar only drifted further away from the light of God's will, and into utter darkness. She did not know if she had the heart to see the man she loved damn himself for eternity. Thus, she had turned to the church for reflection.

While the woman was praying in silence, she overheard a familiar voice call out to her from across the Cathedral.

"Your Majesty, I thought that was you. It would appear you are visiting more frequently these days. Tell me, is there something troubling your mind?"

Adela looked over towards the direction of the voice and noticed Ludolf staring at her with a gentle smile. As the head of the German Reformation, this man led the congregation of the Grand Cathedral, and mostly spent his days fulfilling his duties as a priest. As for the governance of the Church, that was left to the many German Cardinals who had flocked to the Reformation after enduring the madness of two separate popes.

When Adela saw the man largely responsible for the creation of the Reformist Movement, a smile appeared across her troubled lips. She sighed heavily as she nodded her head before revealing the core of her troubles.

"Father, I believe that I am experiencing a crisis of faith... I don't know what to do, I feel so lost..."

Ludolf further approached the High Queen before sitting down in the pews in the row behind her. After doing so, he began to further inquire about her difficulties.

"What is troubling you, my child? Perhaps I can be of service?"

Adela remained silent as she bit her lower lip. She did not want to reveal that Berengar was, in fact, an atheist to the man who helped him break away from the Catholic Church, however if she could not talk to the leader of the Reformation about this issue, then who could she?

Thus, with a heavy sigh, Adela began to speak of the difficulties she faced as the only religious member of the King's Harem.

"I fear that my husband is faithless. Though he helped you found the German Reformation, I know in my heart that it was built upon a lie, and is only a weapon for him to use against the Catholic Church.

Berengar continues to act in debauchery. Not only is he an alcoholic, but he abuses certain substances that are quite harmful to the soul frequently. He has taken a Muslim wife, and lies with her more than any of the others. He not only tolerates her heretical views, but even desires to learn more about them.

I have concluded that my husband is a godless heathen, who does not care for the creator. In fact, I am quite certain that he despises the Lord God Almighty. No matter how much I try to save his soul from damnation, he only turns further into depravity, and in doing so distances himself from me..."

Ludolf sighed heavily as he heard these words. He knew all too well that Berengar was not the religious man that he pretended to be in the public eye. In fact, he had a suspicion for quite some time that Berengar was a man using religion as a tool to control the masses. It was one of the reasons that the two men had not spoken to each other in some time.

After hearing Adela's confession, the young priest felt his heart ache for the girl. Unlike any of Berengar's other wives, she was a devout Christian and could not easily accept Berengar's hedonistic lifestyle. Thus, he revealed his thoughts on the matter.

"I have known your husband for many years, and I have also known for quite some time that he has been lying to me about his goals. He is not a moral, or a righteous man. However, I wouldn't outright call him wicked, either. He does what he deems necessary to achieve his goals, and at the very least, his goals are not evil.

If there is one thing I know about Berengar, it's that he is an incredibly stubborn man. When he believes he is correct about something, he will not relent until he is forced to do so. After all, he is a man who respects strength and power above all else.

Currently, your Husband wields more power than any other man in the world, and thus if you preach to him about the power of the Lord God Almighty, he will not believe it, because he does not see it in the world the way you and I do. Instead, he uses his science, and reason to explain the forces of nature, and rather than kneel before these vestiges of God's power, he seeks to tame them for his own will.

Berengar is fundamentally a logical man at heart, and you will never win him over to your side with a spiritual argument. He is not the kind of man to operate on faith alone; he needs empirical evidence to support his beliefs. Unless you can provide him with proof of God's existence, he will not believe it.

My heart bleeds for you. If you truly have made the goal of saving Berengar's soul your quest in life, then you have your work cut out for you. While I may not be able to directly assist you in your efforts, as the last thing Berengar wants is for a priest like me to lecture him about morality and God's divine will. However, I might be able to offer you some useful advice..."

Adela listened to this speech with varying emotions throughout its length. When Ludolf spoke this last part, she was instantly curious. With a pleading expression, she grabbed hold of the priest's hands and begged him for assistance.

"Please, I will appreciate anything you can do to help me save my husband from eternal damnation."

Ludolf sighed heavily as he gathered his thoughts. After several moments of silence, he gave Adela the advice that he believed would aid her in her arduous journey.

"If what you say is true, and Berengar is not only faithless but actively despises our creator, perhaps you should look into his past, and find out what traumatic event caused him to behave in such a way towards God. One does not simply hate the Lord without having a reason to do so. Surely there is something that happened in his past that caused him to so vehemently detest the Lord God almighty.

If you want to change his mind about religion, you must first find out how he came to have such views in the first place. Once you understand the man, only then can you reason with him. I won't lie to you. It will be a difficult thing to do, as the King hides his secrets well. However, if you truly wish to redeem him in the eyes of the creator, then that should be your starting point.

Or you could give up on Berengar entirely, and focus your efforts on raising your children correctly, so that they may be an inspiration for the people to follow. A Pious King would be much welcome departure from the current King's cruelty. Just know that with the system Berengar has in place, you will have to fight with Linde over securing your son's position as Berengar's successor, and such conflict could prove to be quite overwhelming."

Adela heard these two options in life and questioned what she truly desired. Did she wish to save her husband's soul, or focus her efforts on raising her son to be a righteous and pious king? That was a question she could only answer after thorough mediation, and enlightenment. Whatever she chose would surely have major consequences for the future.

Thus, she decided she would wait until she had properly reflected on herself and her desires before she pursued either of the two routes. As for the moment, the High Queen collected her thoughts before raising from her seat. She gazed down upon the Priest with a warm smile as she thanked him for his help.

"Thank you, father. You have given me much to think about, and I believe I will need to take some time to meditate on this before I come to a proper conclusion."

Ludolf smiled in response to his Queen's gratitude before giving her one last bit of aid.

"Whatever you decide to do, you have my unconditional support. If you need anything at all, you know where to find me..."

With that said Adela departed from the Cathedral and returned to the Palace. She had much to think about, and plenty of time to do it.